words i could never say to you

My beloved Sylvia,

I'm glad you're finally awake - I beg of you, never risk your life like that again. It was painful seeing you so lifeless on the bed, eyes closed as you continued to be a coma. There was never a night where I left your side. I kept holding your hand, hoping you would wake up, praying to Qlipoth for you to recover soon. I wanted to be the first person you saw when you woke up, and when you finally opened your eyes and called my name with a hoarse voice this morning, all my worries and fatigue evaporated instantly into joy.

How could you still smile despite being covered in bandages? "I'm fine" you said while cupping my cheek. At that moment I couldn't help but berate you a little, hugging you close to me as I mumbled all my worries to you.

To hold you in my arms and feel your warmth, your heartbeat... it made me extremely happy and relieved. You might have been able to feel mine beating rapidly in my chest, but I don't care about hiding these feelings anymore.

If you had died... I will hold the regret of not confessing to you forever.

And so, I decided to confess while looking into your gorgeous, bright scarlet eyes that reminded me of the ball peonies that you love so much and told you that I loved you, expecting a rejection.

But your reaction surprised me.

…I never knew you could blush like that. It was a beautiful shade of red, and your smile afterwards was as bright as the sun, illuminating and blinding. I always thought you were beautiful, but this was the most radiant I've ever seen you, even with all the bandages covering your body and plasters on your face. And when you kissed me... it was bliss. I felt my soul ascend and reach the heavens. The Aeons knows how red my face was, I could feel it heating up even with the cold. I would have held you tighter and kissed you over and over again, but I'm afraid of hurting you, so I settled for a kiss on the forehead instead. Everything felt right and perfect, and I was content with holding you in my arms forever while you leaned into my chest and whispered sweet affectionate words- but your stomach growling interrupted the moment, and embarrassedly you hid your face in my chest and asked for food.

I couldn't help but laugh at how adorable you were being and left your arms to cook the most delicious meal for you. It was a new side of you that I've never seen before.

Sylvia - I love you so much. I'm sorry it took me almost losing you forever to confess to you. But I'm glad I was given an opportunity to do so.

From now on, I vow to protect you, to keep you safe and cherish you forever. I will shower you with happiness and all the joy you deserve. Forgive me for being awkward with my feelings, I still find it difficult to be forward with how I feel and my affections, especially in public, but I will do my utmost best. I will do everything I can to ensure that you do not regret loving me, because I have never regretted loving you ever since the day we met.

I look forward to the day you become Sylvia Landau.

With love,
Gepard Landau.