She will be loved
By KibaRoark (DeviantArt), Oct 15, 2018
Marlene’s body ached as she placed her manoeuvre gear down beside her bed. It had been another rigorous training schedule and she wasn’t sure if she was capable of making it through. She belittled herself, trying to force herself to gather more energy as she striped away her training clothes. Marlene knew that she had to abide by her commitments, not only to herself but to her family as well. Her father needed medicine and Marlene was the only one who could earn enough money to help him. Heaving herself over to the bed, she sighed as she reached for her clothing. It was time to work another night.
Reiner stood poised, leaning against a barrack building. He was protective of his crew, but more so of Marlene. Over the past little while, he had been noticing her more and more. She was persistent, loyal and strong. It was those qualities that drew him to her and Reiner wanted to know more. He wanted her to lean on him if she needed to and to depend on him more. Reiner was infatuated with her. On multiple attempts, he had tried to ask her out on small dates after training but Marlene refused every time. He had recently noticed her sneaking out at night and heading towards the nearby town. Tonight he would follow her.
Checking around her, Marlene scanned quickly before darting out of her building. She made a beeline for the gate and slipped around it seamlessly. Remaining completely unaware that someone was following her. The road to the bar was dark and dingy, but it didn’t affect Marlene. All she wanted to do was get there, do her shift and go home. That’s all she wanted.
When Reiner saw her leave the ground, he pulled his cloak over his head and followed at a distance. He couldn’t make out her silhouette, but he could hear that she was moving with a sense of urgency. When they arrived at the town, Reiner stopped short of the pub she was entering. A staff member approached him and offered him a seat outside. It was near a window next to the bar. He took it.
The seat provided him with a perfect view of Marlene. Reiner quickly realised that she was working and if she was doing a shift tonight, then she was taking on more work every night after training. He didn’t know why, but he knew that there must be a good reason for it. Marlene hadn’t confided in him – but he was determined to help her. From his seat he watched her work, eyes softening. She was beautiful and hard working – exactly what he needed. Reiner ordered a drink, as to not blow his cover. He wanted to wait for her to finish the shift and hopefully she’ll accept his escort back to the barracks.
As the end of her shift was nearing, Marlene noticed that it had started to rain. In her haste to get to work she didn’t notice that the sky was overcast.
When her shift ended, Marlene paced behind the bar trying to decide what to do. The doorbell chimed, signalling that someone had entered. In routine, she looked up and came face to face with Reiner. Her breath hitched. Reiner approached the bar cautiously, taking off his cloak. Leaning against the bar, he asked if she’d like an escort back to the barracks. He handed her his cloak so that she wouldn’t get wet. Marlene stared at him. He had followed her? Why would he do that? When she asked him, she didn’t expect his reply.
He followed her because he was worried.
Marlene didn’t know what to think: she was exhausted and anxious. Her emotions were running high. She didn’t know wether to breakdown, get angry or calmly accept the offer. The harsh expectations that she placed upon herself caused Marlene to defend her pride. She thanked Reiner for his offer, but swiftly strode past him and out the door. Marlene was determined to keep herself as detached from him as possible. She didn’t believe herself capable of leaning on anyone – these were her problems. Facing them alone was what she wanted. The rain soaked her to the bone, but she couldn’t feel anything. Marlene was numb.
Reiner found it difficult to swallow. The saliva was caught in his throat, had he upset her? He snatched at the cloak that he had offered and balled it up. He paced to the door and swung it open with force, causing the bell to ring violently. The rain had increased in strength, practically leaving him stranded. His hand twitched as he let out a sigh. Swinging the cloak back over his shoulders, he pulled the hood over his head again. Reiner didn’t want to let it bother him, but when it came to Marlene – he couldn’t help it. He’ll try and reach out to her again. Stepping off the pub’s property he made his way back to the barracks.
Waking up early for training use to be easy, but it wasn’t anymore. Marlene’s mind and body screamed at her to rest, but she wouldn’t allow herself to. She shakily drew open her blinds, practically forcing her body to wake up and become energized. Life was hard. The storm clouds hadn’t fully passed, it would most likely rain throughout training. As she looked out the window, Marlene carelessly allowed her mind to wander. Flashes of her parents living in agony crossed her mind making tears fall silently down her paling cheeks. She felt unwell. She wasn’t going to get help. Never.
Marlene was assigned to manoeuvrability training, a task that grew harder and harder for her by the day. It was difficult to walk in a straight line, let alone balancing on wires. Her training ground was directly across from Reiner’s and Marlene caught herself staring at him. Reiner was diligent and attentive, something she secretly admired in him. Feeling her cheeks flush, Marlene desperately tried to clear her head. She thought back to the previous night – maybe she should have taken his cloak? Her thoughts vanished when she was called up next for training.
It started to rain.
She reluctantly strapped herself into the static manoeuvre gear, feeling her sense of balance diminish by the second. As she was a part of a more advanced corps their balancing was done higher in the air than the recruits. Marlene’s fatigued body wasn’t holding very well, it wanted to break and give in – but her mind willed it to remain strong. Her body won. She felt her vision go blurry and her torso slumped causing a bad imbalance of weight. Marlene tipped forward, making her teammates gasp and call out to her. The wires were instantly brought down so that she could be helped to the ground. When her feet touched the floor Marlene felt a rush of embarrassment shoot through her. They offered her medical help, but she refused. She didn’t need help.
Marlene was given the rest of the day off to relax and sleep. She scolded herself harshly on her walk back to her room. When people had asked her if she was okay, she became frustrated. It wasn’t their business. It was her responsibility only. Marlene had passed it off as ‘not getting a good sleep’ the previous night and people seemed to buy the excuse.
That night at the bar, Reiner trailed her again. He took up the same spot beside the window in order to watch over her. His protective side became heightened after watching Marlene struggle during training. From his position, Reiner could see her attitude change every time she turned away from the customers. Her forced smile disappeared and became an expressionless wall. She seemed untouchable.
Again, at the end of her shift, Reiner appeared at the door. Her features remained unchanged; they seemed anxious and annoyed. Marlene moved to step around him, but he stopped her. Grabbing her shoulders forcefully he pleaded with her to rely on him. He wanted to be there for her, but how could he if she didn’t let him? Reiner shook her slightly, eyes staring into hers. Marlene continued to gaze blankly over his shoulder. She didn’t need a lecture and she didn’t want support. Although she felt happy about Reiner’s push to support her, Marlene believed that she should treat him like the others. It wasn’t his business. She didn’t need to lean on him. Marlene thanked him for the offer, but declined yet again.
Reiner wasn’t going to take no for an answer. He started to get frustrated with her relaxed nature. She was pretending too much and it bugged him. Marlene shouldn’t have to act; she should be able to show her true emotions. If not to everyone then to him, he was someone who cared deeply about her. Did she not realise how much he cared? Reiner’s grip on Marlene’s shoulders tightened, causing her frail body to wince. Again he asked her, pleaded with her to let him in. His subtle offer became a persistent annoyance and Marlene could no longer take it. Her temperament wouldn’t allow it. She barked at him. How dare he push himself into her life? Marlene ran back to the barracks, not caring about the rain soaking her to the bone.
Reiner knew that he had crossed the line.
Another day. Another night. It was the same routine. Marlene cursed her rotten luck as she peered through the pub window at the worsening sky. The bad weather was hanging over her like the thoughts in her head. She was sick of it. The sky was clear before she arrived and now it thunder storming. Marlene sighed as she opened the door, but was once again surprised to see Reiner waiting for her. His persistence felt oddly welcomed tonight and she didn’t understand why. When Marlene had woken up that morning, it was as if a switch was flicked. She suddenly didn’t mind leaning on Reiner a little – but only a little! She wouldn’t let herself get carried away; she didn’t want to let herself go completely. Something was definitely different.
When Reiner saw Marlene at the door he approached her slowly. He had pushed her too hard last time and had felt guilty about it. This time, if she refused he would accept it and let her go. His heavy footsteps trudged towards her as the wind swirled around him. Outstretching his hand, Reiner held his umbrella out to her. Instead of taking it, Marlene stepped out towards him – standing next to him. She took a step forward expecting him to start walking alongside her.
Before he moved away from the pub, Reiner turned to face Marlene. The air under the umbrella flared to life. Chemistry was bubbling away as Reiner attempted to keep his emotions in check. Reiner apologised to her. He wanted her to know that he was truly sorry for prying when he shouldn’t have. Marlene smiled at him, only slightly admitting that she’d been stressed lately. A small wave of relief flooded over Reiner. She was finally opening up. Much to Marlene’s surprise, she didn’t mind telling him that. A strange sensation internally willed her to say more, however, she stopped herself. But should she? Should she hold back or tell him everything?
The walk back to the barracks was externally silent. While Reiner thrived in the silence, happy with the events of the night so far – Marlene’s mind was racing. She was currently waging an internal war, unsure of what to do. Her anxiety and issues at home were causing her so much pain. Initially she forced herself to believe that she didn’t want to rely on anyone, these were her problems and hers alone. But maybe she was kidding herself? Maybe she felt guilty to burden someone with her issues? As they got to her door, Reiner bid her goodnight, but Marlene didn’t move.
When Reiner looked down at her to ask what was wrong, he became paralysed. Marlene was crying. He gently glided her out of the rain and to a bench under cover. Sitting next to her, Reiner delicately placed an arm over her shoulders – careful as if she would break under his weight. Reiner remained silent as Marlene sobbed. He brushed away tears that escaped her eyes, causing Marlene to look up at him. She finally cracked. Marlene told him everything. She told him about why she was working a second job, about her father and how she was constantly tired and unwell. Reiner listened to everything, now finally understanding what had been ailing her.
“I know you didn’t disclose anything because you didn’t want to. But it isn’t a case of what you want, it’s what you need.” He said to her after she had finished.
“I need you, Reiner.”