Camellias

Having a seat in this wire woven garden chair wasn’t the most comfortable, but it was a seat alright. Actually, I shouldn’t even be here, I mean for THIS REASON in particular. Michael is still busy upstairs, Raphael is… less of Raphael and more a shell of himself. So sitting in front of the man who has every right to rip my head off, he’s taking sips of his drink. It doesn’t smell herbal, it just smells hot. You know when you can barely tell what something is because of that? It’s that. I mean its sweet-ish, but that shouldn’t really matter. I don’t really get nerves like Raphael would sitting down with someone like this. Clammy hands, can’t focus on the person you’re supposed to talk to but you can’t get your mind off the thing thats stressing you the hell out. At least I think that’s what he told me it’s like, like you feel like you’re in danger but you’re not. 

Anywho, I dunno how Raphael did it because I know I’m in imminent danger if I make a wrong move, probably because I know what I did. If I were Michael, I know I wouldn’t be alright. It’s Lucifer, of course he hates Michael. So of course he hates me, but tolerates me enough to sit here. It was just coincidental to meet him like this, any excuse to run off to “deliver something” easily could be shot down with an invitation for cookies and tea. Maybe this’ the only time where I wanted to do my job, or run back to Heaven… well- Lucifer of all people knows the grounds for war. Bloodshed with the intention to kill is only permitted there. So luckily I have a chance to live if he got mad enough. 

“It was of the fates to properly be able to sit and converse with you- surely it will be long until we will be able to sit around a table once more like this, so I will be quick. You ARE a busy angel, after all.”

Brief, yeah? I’m listening. Setting my hat down on the cafe table, the passerbyers didn’t do so much as glance over. It’s just two people talking over pastries. It’s like two friends rekindling a friendship. But we’re not. Personally I know him and I have no animosity between us so it should remain this way for a while… Actually, I’m just glad the little devil isn’t ripping into me, I mean I know he likes to. But right now, he seems too tired to… thats good.

“I know what you did to the tower,” my nose crinkled, glancing away, I know that would give mr a blindspot in these two eyes, but I didn’t want to listen. “If you’re going to berate me just make it qui-“ “And I forgive you.” I can hear the sound of Lucifer reaching for a napkin, the crinkle being apparent. “A lot of respectable entities made decisions that day that, well, were not okay. Even Babel, and I understand how much you cared about them. They were a dear friend of mine as well.” Two taps of the table, I don’t want to look at that look on his face. I know it isn’t smug, I just hate how he looks how he used to back then, it’s harder to listen and look at him like this. Maybe- it would have been better if I were getting insulted—

“You did not mean for things to turn out the way they had, Babel would understand that.” 

There’s a tightening feeling in my chest, my throat, and it kind of hurts- I really don’t want to feel this way right now, gods. “Many lost their homes, their friends, and- their lives. I am still upset with you, but I am not angry. I forgive you and would like to leave you with that sentiment.” Even if he was getting up to leave, I couldn’t get myself to look back at him. I couldn’t tell myself what this all was for if I wanted to. A bribe? To play with my feelings? My feelings have been played, I feel- awful. But it’s not terrible… what the hell is this?

Before Lucifer walks off, there is a press on my shoulder where he leaves his hand, and then he’s gone. Clicking away…

Sucking in a sharp breath, I turn to reach my hat and- I just about choke. There is a flower on the table. I didn’t hear when he left it there but- it’s beautiful. It’s just what it should look like. It’s crystalized pink petals, how they all curl inwards. How did he- get his hands on this? That should be impossible, nobody can reach Arcaia. Its- impossible, it doesn’t allow anyone in. I’ve tried so many times, so many damn times. At this point I can’t help myself but cry. Careful with the petals now- it’s been eons since I’ve last seen one, it’d be such a nightmare if it crumbled right here and then. Curled over the mess of jewels, the little gift sits in my hands, down to my lap.

The flower of Arcaia. I haven’t seen these since the tower fell. Of course they can be found anywhere in the world- Camellias, but from the jade leaves straight down to the seeded geode itself. I can even tell from where it was broken off its bush. The further the petals are from the center, the more transparent they become. So delicate, so beautiful, so precious. I know people are looking over at this point but I really can’t stop myself. Has anyone really forgiven me before? I don’t think I can just yet either. Gods, I should have fallen ages ago, but here I am still. I think I’m just so relieved that not everything is lost, like the gems of Arcaia. Maybe I still have a chance- but do I even deserve one still. Do I?