Get Swarmed Idiot

"More reports of masses of these strange spiders have been swarming in over the past few weeks. The city's wildlife officials do not seem to be able to identify the species, but warn civilians of the arachnids' potent venom, as they are able to send their victims into hallucination-induced panic attacks. Is this another case of freakish fauna like the strange dog-like creatures made of tar, or is there a new villain on the rise? Tensions remain high while authorities attempt to investigate the matter. Next up, a nightmare on the air, Frank Southerland's interview with--"

Someone turned off the tv, suddenly.

"Yaaaawn. Nightmare insects are completely boring now. Especially once that one scarab guy came through last year turned out to just be some elaborate advertising hoax for that weird new horror series. It's played out!"

Charlie turned so he could see Alistaire holding his tv remote. Of course, when he tried to grab it, Alistaire would just zip to the other side of the room. Charlie didn't care that much about the news, so he didn't bother getting up and chasing him around his apartment. This time, anyway.

"Spiders aren't insects. Did you need something?"

"Oh, yeah." He put the remote down-- out of Charlie's reach, because of course he did-- and ran over back by the entrance. He grabs something and then runs it back over to Charlie.

"Okay, first, open this." Alistaire handed him a jar of salsa, which he'd brought with him for whatever reason. Charlie looked at the jar then back at him, clearly unamused with the completely unnecessary excuse to come over. Alistaire looks ready to throw up his biggest puppy dog eyes as his rebuttal to whatever Charlie's about to say, but Charlie saves them both the trouble by just grabbing the jar from him. There's a sharp Pop! as Charlie breaks the seal, opening the jar. 

"Oh, and second. You got any tortilla chips?"

Charlie groans and just points to the cabinet. While Alistaire gets his snack, he gets up and turns the tv back on manually with the buttons on the side, then slumps back in his seat. Alistaire starts cycling through the channels from the kitchenette.

---

"Look, all I'm saying is we should've gotten more time with the kick-ass nuns."

Charlie rolled his eyes as he sipped his drink. He and Alistaire walked down the sidewalk from their impromptu movie trip after Alistaire had heard that this really, truly awful indie cowboy movie was having a limited run at the old theater. It was a bit of a walk, but it was just close enough that there wasn't much point wasting fare on the trip there. Plus, it was nice out for once this week.

"I thought that was kind of out of nowhere, honestly, but I guess it wasn't any worse than the bigfoot scene."

"What?! I loooooved the bigfoot scene."

"It was really bad."

"It was campy! Whimsical! Fun!"

"I think I've seen that exact costume at Party City."

"You say that like it doesn't make it even funnier."

Charlie gives a little shrug. "It was pretty funny, sure."

They continue to go back and forth about the movie as they turn the corner. It was fairly late, and while there were people around here and there, this street seemed mostly empty aside from the two of them, and one guy headed in the same direction, a little ways down the street behind them. Charlie turned down the alley, not wanting to deal with the finicky lock in the front of his building, and Alistaire followed suit, barely even paying attention.

Just then, Charlie put his hand on Alistaire's shoulder while he was mid-sentence. He'd noticed motion out of his periphery, and wanted him to be alert. The two of them turned behind them, only to be met with the barrel of a gun being pointed at them, held by the man Charlie noticed walking behind them earlier. He should've made sure he wasn't a tail, damnit.

"Give me your wallets and your phones, nobody gets hurt."

"....Wait, are you mugging us?!"

The guy turned slightly towards Alistaire with the gun.

"Are you fucking dense, yes I'm mugging you. Now empty your pockets." He looks Alistaire up and down. "And give me your shoes, too. They look real nice."

Alistaire and Charlie looked at each other, having a conversation in just a glance.

Is he really mugging us? Of all people?

Bad luck, I guess.

Right? I'd hate to be him!

Yeah. I'll sort this out.

The man waves the gun closer to them, trying to hurry them up.

"Come on, let's go! You two wanna die or something?" He looked a bit sweatier than he was a moment ago. Charlie noticed him go to rub the back of his neck with his free hand. In an amount of detail only he could see in this barely-lit alleyway, Charlie noticed the man's dilated pupils. Was this guy on something? He made a note to be more careful with him, just in case. 

He motioned for Alistaire to go on, and the two of them reached for their pockets, pulling out their wallets. Charlie's intent was to disarm the guy while Alistaire hands his wallet over. Whatever was going on with this guy, at least that way he'd make sure that he couldn't hurt anyone. 

Before he even got the chance though, the guy started freaking out. His eyes widened, stepping away from the pair of them, clearly seeing something they couldn't. Whatever it was, it must've been grotesque. His gun hand was trembling, and they could both hear him muttering "What the fuck, what the fuck?! What is that?!?"

His eyes and aiming hand followed a motion that, again, they couldn't see. He put his other hand on the gun, visibly shaking.

"GET AWAY FROM ME. STOP!" Both of them ducked as he fired at an empty space on the wall, frantically emptying his clip into the bricks. This guy was a danger to everyone right now. Charlie quickly took advantage of the invisible distraction, grabbing his wrist in such a way to force him to drop the gun. Charlie kicked the gun out of reach, preparing to then follow through in the motion to knock the guy on his ass. But just as he did, he felt a strange tickling on his leg, as if something was crawling on him. 

"UHHHHH, CHARLIEEEEEE..." Alistaire's voice shifted from loud and concerned to a fearful squeal as they both looked down and saw the growing black mass of spiders on the ground surrounding the mugger, and threatening to do the same to him. Charlie immediately jumped back, putting distance between himself and the mugger. He kicked off the spider that had crawled up his leg and stomped on any that were close enough to either of them. Alistaire's whimpering was all but drowned out by the mugger's screams as the mass of spiders had spread out, crawling all over his body. As terrifying as the scene was, the man clearly seemed plagued by something even more horrifying in his mind. He started crawling away, looking in abject terror at the same spot on the wall, riddled with bullets. All the while, having dozens of massive spiders skitter all over his body. For each one he accidentally landed on or killed, two more seemed to take its place.

With the amount of swarming spiders only seeming to grow with each second, Alistaire and Charlie looked again at each other. They had another wordless exchange, though this one much shorter, and both parties seemed to share the exact same sentiment.

We need to Go.

Luckily, they weren't far from the apartment at this point. Charlie quickly turned and booked it, with Alistaire right behind him. Alistaire didn't look back, but Charlie noticed something above them. Sitting at the top of a fire escape, was a somewhat tall figure in a mask. It covered the top of their face, their fluffy blue hair peeking out from underneath. They made eye contact for a moment, as the figure turned to watch them run down the alley. Or he presumed that they did, anyhow, because even with his vision, Charlie couldn't quite make out their eyes. All he could see was just the shadow of the mask's cutout.

Before they knew it, they were at his apartment on the other side of the alley. He quickly found his keys in his jacket and got them inside. 

"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?" Alistaire exclaimed the second they got into Charlie's apartment.

"...Still think nightmare insects are played out?"

"YES!" 

Charlie laughed half-heartedly as Alistaire shuddered audibly. Once he caught his breath, Alistaire came right up to Charlie, spinning around in front of him before he even started to explain what he was doing. "Here, look, are there any on me?!"

Charlie gave him a once over. "Nah, I don't see any. Check me." Alistaire did the same for him. Once both were confirmed to be spider-free, things began to calm down.

"God. I need a shower. After that, I feel gross." Alistaire turned towards Charlie, not even really asking the question.

"Yeah, sure. Don't use my shampoo."

"What if they laid eggs in my hair, Charlie? I'd be like that girl on the news!"

"Shower again when you get home, then."

"Fineeeeee." Alistaire started down the hall, towards the bathroom.

Charlie took a deep breath and headed to his kitchenette.

---

The next day, Charlie noticed a note stuck to the front of his door, it was addressed to "Redhead guy." He picked it up, and unfolded it. As he did, he noticed that there was no tape on the back sticking it to the door, but instead a string of thready webbing as he pulled it away.

Inside, the note read:

SORRY FOR FREAKING YOU OUT. 

I HOPE YOU AND YOUR FRIEND ARE OKAY.

It was written in all caps, and there's a space scribbled at the beginning, where they presumably messed up before trying again. Where you would normally sign it, there was just a simple doodle of a spider. As if the web didn't make it obvious. He shrugged and stuck the note in his pocket as he recalled the masked, blue-haired figure watching from the fire escape above. They must be the source of all these spider incidents, or maybe they're a copycat of the original source, it's hard to say.

Regardless, he figures they must have just been after the mugger, for whatever reason. Doesn't mean to not be worried about this guy, just that it worked out this time. He made a mental note to look out for this dude on patrol later, now that he knew what to look out for.