I Wanna be a Real Fake

When Coach had told Valentine to expect a package with his first bunch of fan mail later that week, Valentine hadn’t been expecting a box this… big. 

There it was, though, sitting at his front door in all its humongous glory. He unlocked the door and grabbed it, heading inside. After tracking down a pair of scissors, he sat down on the living room floor and sliced the box open. This was… weirdly exciting. It almost didn’t feel real. 

Once again, though, he was proved wrong by the stacks and stacks of letters inside. They had all been opened already to check their contents, so he tossed the scissors aside and grabbed a handful of letters. Being careful not to mix up the envelopes, he started reading eagerly. 

The handwriting of the first person was neat and formal, their lines straight even without the help of lined paper. I just wanted to tell you that I’m a big fan, they’d written. I used to play baseball when I was a kid and got back into it lately. I’m trans too, so it was really nice to hear that you’d come out a little while ago. I don’t know when you’ll get this letter, but good luck at your next game! We’re rooting for you. 

He smiled, quickly re-reading the letter before folding it up again. He’d had loads of people tell him something similar online, but it had a different kind of weight when it was handwritten. He wasn’t one of those old fashioned people who thought handwritten things were always superior to typed ones, but… it was nice for a change, that’s all. 

The next one was written in pencil on lined paper and had several scribbled-out mistakes and misspellings. I went to see your game with my mom last week. The other players were cool to but I liked you the most because your hair is pink and pink is my favorite color. 

Was that written by a kid? Yes: right next to their name, in parentheses, was “6 ½ years old”. He did see kids in the stands sometimes with their parents. He’d never been to any sports matches as a kid (being dragged to church on Sundays was the closest thing they had to family bonding time) but he bet it was nice. And he was helping make that happen. That was sort of surreal.

Soon enough, the names of the writers began to blur together, leaving him unable to remember the details of every letter, but they all had more or less the same message: admiration and support. 

I’ve been following you on Instagram for a while now and your fits are always so cuteee!! I tried DMing you but you didn’t see my messages </3 so I’ll use a letter instead. I don’t mind tho writing letters is pretty fun. My friends and I are thinking of getting pen pals this year. 

You inspired me to try out for my college’s baseball team. I didn’t make it but I’m going to try again next time. Do you have any training tips? 

Are you and Jace dating? I keep telling my friends that there’s definitely something going on between you two but they always tell me I’m looking into it too much. Oh god that sounds really creepy doesn’t it. I promise I’ll support you regardless and I don’t really care what the answer is. I’m just curious. Ok ok I’ll stop before I dig myself into a deeper hole with this. I’m looking forward to all the stuff you’re going to do from here on out!!

Aside from… that last one, all of the letters should’ve made him feel nothing but happiness. So why the hell was he feeling uneasy and uncomfortable? It didn’t have to do with anything he’d read so far, so it must be—

I made sure that the two of you would be far away from that man, so how do you keep finding ways to take after him?! Lord above, you always test my patience…

Mom didn’t mean to say that stuff… she just gets impatient sometimes, you know. M…maybe if you went out less and tried a little harder at school, things would be alright? I don’t mean to sound rude, but it seems like you’re spending more time on football and at parties than studying these days.

Ugh, what is that outfit? Were you planning on wearing that tonight? It’s not Halloween, Val… here, I’ll help you pick out something better. 

It always came back to that stuff, didn’t it? That had all been years ago, but he still couldn’t leave it behind. Despite everything, a part of him still believed all the things they’d said about him. A part of him believed that he really was—

“Oh, did all of your fan mail come in? I think that’s even more than I got!”

“Jace!” Valentine looked up, surprised. He hadn’t heard him come in. “Uh… welcome back.”

Valentine had tried his best to force a smile, but from the way Jace frowned sadly at him, he’d figured out something was wrong anyway. 

“Hey, what happened? Did someone write something rude?” He circled around to look over his shoulder at the letter he was currently holding. 

“No, it’s not that. It’s the opposite, I guess. They’re being too nice.”

“Too nice?” Jace’s tone was teasing, but Valentine could still spot the concern underneath it. 

“Yeah.” He already knew this was going to sound stupid when he said it aloud, but it was fine. Jace would never call him names—he was better than that. “They’re saying all these great things about me, and I just don’t know if I really deserve them.” 

“Mm, ok.” Putting down his bag, he took a seat on the floor nearby and wrapped one arm around Valentine’s shoulders. “To be fair, they don’t know you very well. But that doesn’t mean they’re wrong for thinking you’re so amazing.” He grinned. “Because I know how amazing you are, so I can tell that they’re right.” 

“You haven’t even read any of what they said,” he muttered, leaning into Jace and trying not to blush. It was definitely a losing battle. 

“I mean, I could. Do you want to go through them together?” 

“Yeah, I think I'd like that." He really was lucky to have Jace here. A couple of years back, he couldn't have imagined having so many supportive people around, but now that was his life. It didn't feel real some days, but it was. Just like the letters. Did he deserve them? ...Sometimes it didn't feel like he did, but they were going to be there for him regardless. So all he had to do was accept them into his life.

He shifted a little closer to Jace and began reading aloud from a new letter.