Death gets a therapist

"So, a friend suggested you see me?"

Death just sat on the couch, quiet, not really sure what to say. Were nightmares a legit reason to get a therapist?

"It's okay if you're not ready to talk about the trauma then let's get to know each other."

That sounded a lot better. They didn't want to talk about their.... Trauma yet.

                          •°•°•°•

"Okay, it's been a few appointments. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong. And don't say nothing is because I can tell when you talk about yourself that you are holding something back. This is a safe place. say what's on your mind."

Health and wellness was so nice. This would be the first time saying this out loud.

"Should we talk about the nightmares or the fact I'm a monster first?" Death asked, feeling weird that they just admitted to being a monster. However that's their thoughts most of the time.

"I feel they are connected. So let's start with the monster part. What happened to make you think that?" She spoke calmly, no judgement at all. Not what death was expecting, to be honest.

Death took a deep breath and said, "Because I hurt life, I was scarred physically a lot, I murdered, and Because Priscilla said I was and she was right."

"There's a lot of I statements in that. Tell me. How much of that was actually your fault?"

How much was their fault? Something about that made tears start to fall.

"I tried to resist her. I tried to not be under her control but I couldn't. I wasn't strong enough. Isn't that my fault? I wasn't strong enough. Priscilla was right. I am just an ugly monster who will only ever hurt life." Death was sobbing now. They believed everything Priscilla said still.

"The victim of trauma is never at fault. You were manipulated and abused. That will never ever be your fault. However you will continue to have these intrusive thoughts as long as you believe them. I recommend getting a notebook and anytime you have an intrusive thought. Write down the opposite until you don't believe it." She gave a soft smile after suggesting it.

"So I just write down "I'm not a monster" over and over if that's my thought?" Death was a little confused on how that would work but it was worth a try.

                           •°•°•°•

"How has the notebook thing been going?"

Right away they are being asked that. great.

"It helps. A lot. However I've already gone through a few notebooks..." Death was embarrassed by that. They feel like they shouldn't have gone through so much already.

"That's alright. It's different for everyone. You having to write a lot or often is okay. Especially considering what you went through. Speaking of which are you comfortable talking about the nightmares?"

Death nodded their head and said, "Yeah. I think I'm comfortable with it. The nightmares usually have to do with me... Hurting someone. Sometimes it's one of the people I was forced to kill under Priscilla's control sometimes it's a friend."

"When you say friend do you mean friend or do you mean Life. You've mentioned her before."

Death sighed and said, "Sometimes life. Sometimes it's one of the other people I work with. Either way the moment I hurt them I wake up in a cold sweat."

"Start writing after those nightmares. Remind yourself that you aren't that person. You never will be. And if needed you can always call me and we can talk about the nightmare."

   

                             •°•°•°•

"What's something you want to talk about today? It can be anything. Doesn't even have to be trauma related."

Death fiddled with their hair and said, "I'm uncomfortable in my other form because of all the scars. Considering this form only has one scar I'm much more comfortable with it. However I miss my other form. Especially considering what gender I feel I am changes now and then."

Health and wellness thought for a moment and said, "Have you considered getting tattoos over the scars? Because if the scars are the biggest problem then tattoos might help."

Tattoos.... Death hadn't even considered that before.

"That sounds like a great idea."

"Also. The nightmares are a lot less now."

Health and wellness gave death one last smile that appointment and said, "I'm glad."