New Roomate

Sure, working at the zoo sure was something that Kenji Nomura really did enjoy… Animals were better than people in his own opinion. Doing research on them, really, the more time he could spend with them and not with people that really didn’t seem to care for animals (simply because they were lesser than the human race) the better.

    What Kenji didn’t expect however...was the encounter he’d have on this very day. Something that would really change his life in the long run. Something that he, would never expect in all of his life. An encounter, with an alien.

    Just passing by the meerkat enclosure, the red head heard screaming, screams of terror coming from people. Screaming obviously meant something was wrong. Did an animal escape and get into an enclosure? Did an animal escape and start attacking others? The boy panicked, and quickly ran to the scene.

    What Kenji had witnessed left him...bewildered with feelings of fear, and confusion….but mostly fear. What sat in the meerkat enclosure was none other than a fucking cat. Licking its paw, he could only imagine the feline had finished off one of the animals inside the habitat. Thus, without another word, he bolted to the back room, to the door that lead inside the enclosure. He needed to scoop up that cat, and bring it somewhere else. Hell, he knew the feline was probably a stray, and didn’t know better. He felt an urge of...protection in a way. The cat was probably lost, alone and hungry. Probably why it went after a meerkat, god only knows how it got in such a well guarded space.

    With that, he scooped up the cat, who didn’t really seem too phased. But in reality, said cat was probably panicking on the inside. Kenji...always had a way with animals, keeping the whiskered fluffball calm (hiding the cat with him, and saying to got away before he could snatch it) until he could head back to his apartment, and maybe make post about a found cat...if not he’d probably either keep him or rehome him. Kenji wasn’t sure. What he didn’t know was that, there was something special about this feline. Something that he’d find out later on. Because...this certainly WAS NOT your average cat. This cat knew that if he went along with Kenji’s protective nature towards animals, he’d be able to escape another day.

    Upon getting home, he placed the cat on the floor, after closing his door. Kenji watched as the cat calmly walked about, probably observing the surroundings. He’d let the cat wander. He was about to get the cat some food and water just in case… But that train of thought quickly stopped as he saw something….very odd.

    The cat had began to twist off the top of the hand soap bottle nearby the sink, and proceeded to tip it over… and drink it.

    “...what the fuck,” was all Kenji could mutter, and before reflexes could make him rush to snatch the soap away from the cat, because cats aren’t supposed to eat fucking soap…. The strangest thing happened yet.

    “You can’t blame me, soap tastes amazing!”

    Did...did that cat just…. Fucking talk?

    “Excuse me, what the fuck,” yes, good job. Good job Kenji. He was confused, a bit afraid, and overall wondering how the hell this happened.

    “Hm? Cats don’t speak?” that was a awfully weird voice for a cat, “That doesn’t matter, I do have to say, nice apartment,” he went on, “By the way, I was meaning to ask this earlier, why were those meerkats trapped behind the glass? Also, why were so many of your kind watching it?” he could ask these questions for ages...but clearly, this ‘inferior human’ was speechless. He frowned a bit, in disappointment, “Useless, can’t even speak, humans are dumb,” the cat calmly lept off the cupboard, and went to go towards the door.

    “W-Wait!” Kenji tried to stop him...hoping he’d stay put. The cat curiously turned, and looked at him, as if to wait for a response. “...what...are you?”

    The cat looked, displeased, “You work at a place with a ton of animals around yet you have no idea what a cat is? Pathetic lifeform… You’re a disappointment of a human,”

    “Cats don’t talk or eat soap dumbass!!” Kenji snapped, the cat...thing looked frightened. Did he really spook him after looking threatening like that? Before he could speak another word, the feline bolted off...behind him. Odd, but Kenji went to go and turn around…

    No cat.

    This is when Kenji knew he couldn’t leave...whatever that was, run free in his place. Thus, he took after the cat. What happened next was… even more fuckin weird than the cat talking. During his...frantic search for the cat, he heard it again. The cat’s weird voice. “Did you lose something?” the ‘cat’ asked… or what Kenji could only but call it.

    As he turned around, standing behind him was most certainly not a cat, but a very, very tall, blonde haired man. He looked about Kenji’s age, and towered over Kenji’s height by a few inches. Kenji gasped, and backed up, “Y-You...cat...what?!” oh, he was too, too spooked to be considered anywhere near ready to punch a guy. He had never believed in anything of the sort of what he believes to have witnessed, it can’t be what he-

    The man before him proceeds to lick his own eye with his tongue like some lizard.

    YEP, this is exactly what his mind had conjured up.

    

“You call yourself a zoologist and you can’t even get your animals right, how stupid are you?” The man states, and sighs, “I guess I should ‘thank’ you for giving me a place to stay, so ‘thanks’ I guess,” Well that was a half assed thank you. It didn’t even sound sincere in the first place. 

    Oh, that half assed consideration made him a liiittle mad, hell, he was still in his apartment. “The least you could do is sincerely thank me,” he grumbled, “Explain yourself before I kick you out,” Kenji later added, recovering from shock value.

    “Explain? That’s a weird way to ask someone to introduce yourself. You prove yourself to be more pathetic the more you speak, why do you even bother spea-”

    “Cut it before I make you shut up”

    “Ok ok sheesh, no need to go all like that on me, what did I ever do?!” Kenji continued to give him an annoyed and ticked off look...which did managed to get said mystery alien lizard man to speak. “My name is Giorgio Nicola, I am not a pathetic human as yourself as you’ve clearly witnessed, and i’m just...living my life. I have no idea how I wandered this far away from my home, but honestly, wandering is fun, I guess,” He finished (very clearly making up a half-assed lie as well, he was clearly on the run, but Kenji didn’t question it. He didn’t want to at this point.), and right away, Kenji spoke again.

    “...Where is your… ‘home’ anyways?”

    “I’m Italian, isn’t it obvious where I live?”

    “What the fuck, You’re goddamn lucky we both speak English,” Kenji added in return, how the fuck did he… “You’re in Japan,” he quickly added, and Giorgio’s eyes widened.

    “Oh shit…. That is far,”  yeah, he clearly had the expression of, oh shit I really did that didn’t I?

    Kenji grumbled, “Look, do you have any money on you or anything?” he really didn’t want to have a new roommate, he was only prepared for a cat...not a fucking alien. 

    “....No, I’m still staying though. No take backs,” Giorgio quickly added, “I am clearly the superior lifeform here, I make the rules,”

    Kenji, kinda felt bad for him, first of all he didn’t understand how the guy even lasted this long out there with this mindset. Maybe he should just let him stay until he actually had a stable way of life. “Fucking fine,” he added with a sigh.

    And, without thanking him, Giorgio spoke again, “Hey, so, i’m gonna take the rest of your soap...and your salt too,” and with that, without even asking, he went to go and supplement himself with the hand soap, with a side of salt, which he simply took directly from the salt shaker.

    Meanwhile, Kenji just...questioned all of his life choices to this moment. Life with...this guy was certainly going to be one hell of a headache.

    Someone, please save him. Save him and his wallet from crazy soap expenses.