An Improvement

“Dazai. You called for me?”

There was that annoying voice again. No. It wasn’t even really the truth right? He didn’t find him annoying as much as,, did he find it unfair? That even someone brighter than him had been broken down so fast and turned into something like him? Worse than him. …someone who idealized him.

“Yeah yeah. I called you.”

It was something he noticed more often now that he spent more time getting to know Chuuya. Ango and Oda had already found out about them so there was more time to talk to him. Especially since now they were…

Anyway.

He was starting to pick up on the way Chuuya spoke to his subordinates. They liked him more, it was easy to imitate even if he didn’t understand what it was.

“Walk with me. I want a report on your job today.”

He tuned him out. He didn’t really care about the report. He just wanted to hear how excited Akutagawa was to give it. He had often cut him off in the middle of speaking. But now he was finding that; if given the chance, the report was extensive. Through. As they walked, Dazai noticed certain things he knew Akutagawa had changed since he had previously called it annoying.

He no longer made large gestures when he spoke, his hands were firmly in his pockets at all time. That was from slapping his wrists with the blunt end of his knife when he did so. He no longer mumbled; he spoke clearly and loudly. That was from the punches and slaps when he did that. He didn’t talk too fast, he didn’t smile when he spoke, he didn’t look overly proud.

He had beaten it all out of him.

And the man that was left… annoyed him.

Because now he was nothing. Nothing except something that vied for every- no, any praise from him.

Well, from what he heard, Akutagawa pushed himself too hard this job. Even visually, he swayed as he walked, his arms shivered when they walked, refusing to admit the wind chill freezing him outside. Dazai often kept him uncomfortable. Walking in the snow worked well whenever they had these talks.

But something was changing. Maybe it was Odasaku’s influence- chuuya’s too.

He finished the report with a respectful bow to Dazai, waiting for whatever else he needed. It was the first time he finished one, or rather, was able to finish. Earlier he had heard his voice hitch, ready to stop before realizing Dazai wouldn’t stop him this time. When he raised his head, his eyes stayed closed a little bit longer than normal, as if.. ah- that was relief was it? He recognized that from Chuuya a few days ago.

“Akutagawa.” Ah the smaller boy was bracing for a hit. That was normal but it felt odd. He didn’t want to hit him today.

“Are you cold?” Akutagawa wouldn’t admit weakness, especially not to Dazai. What would have happened a month ago? Dazai probably would have killed him. Or sent him on another mission before he was rested after this one.

“No sir.”

“Don’t lie to me. I’ll cut your tongue out.” He still wasn’t used to not threatening.. Odasaku didn’t threaten while giving praise.

He took his coat off and placed it around his shoulders.

“You did good today Akutagawa.” It was simple. Barely enough praise the kid was worth if he was a better person and could recognize it.

But it was just enough for Akutagawa. His face brightened, his shoulders relaxed. The twinge of blue on his lips was warming. Oh his clothes had been wet. And he was walking in the snow. Dazai hadn’t noticed.

“Let’s get back inside, you need to change, wet rat.”

He still needed work.