My love is sick

Misam cradled the tiny plant pot in his hand, the beginnings of a gentle, soft looking plant peaking through the soil left a kindly smile on his face. He fluttered his fingers over the baby plant, feeling small dots scattered over its green surface. He didn’t yet know what was growing, but he couldn’t wait to find out.

It was beautiful.

He placed the pot down gently, and excitedly leapt to his feet as he walked outside to meet his friend, who was already standing there at his door.

“AH- oh my gosh, you scared me!” Misam laughed, his best friend already in stitches with his wings gently flapping in glee, Misam relished the sight.

“AHA- You should have SEEN your face, I didn’t even have to say anything!” Surya cackled, wiping a single tear from his eyes as he beamed mischievously at his long time best friend.

Miasm’s amused grin soon turned mischievous as well, as he leapt at Surya, wrapping his hands around his eyes and rendering him unable to see. The two stumbled around, eventually collapsing into a pile of laughter, the sound was sweet and soft.

The sound was beautiful.

The plant continued to grow. ——————————————————————

Misam was nervous to say the least. He knew all too well that formal events weren’t something he went to..ever?? Usually he couldn’t afford them, but Surya practically begged him to attend and offered to pay for him, so he figured it would be alright.

He watered his steadily growing plant just before he left, it’s cylindrical shape taking form and fitting perfectly within the soil. He was proud of it. He waved the little plant goodbye and made his way over to Surya, so they could walk to the event together.

Jokes were exchanged, little pokes at each other and stolen glances. Misam felt his face glow with warmth in the company of Surya, as he too loudly explained that he wasn’t excited to have to stand around all the “Primadonna princesses” as he had described them.

Misam should have taken that more seriously.

It had been going smoothly, simple greetings and small conversation. Misam thought it was going pretty well, all things considered. The scowl on Suryas face told another story.

“…They keep staring at you Misa.”

Misam almost choked on his drink, people were staring at him?

“They- they are?”

Surya was silent for a second, which was very rare for the red haired firecracker.

“They’re snickering. They’re laughing at us Misa.”

Huh. Misam hadn’t noticed it before, but a lot of the guests had indeed been looking suspiciously at them.

“Im sure they don’t mean harm, I mean we’re kinda inconspicuous aren’t w-“

“No, they’re doing it on purpose, pisses me off,I mean what the hell makes them think they get to snicker and snort at us like that!”

Surya began raising his voice, more heads began to turn and stare at the comments, some looking more disgusted than before. Misam was getting increasingly nervous.

“Surya- it’s ok, maybe we should leave? I think-“

“We aren’t leavin, I ain’t letting these stuck up phoneys make a fool out of me” Surya hissed, his volume now increased tenfold, almost the whole room had begun to whisper and Misam swore he could feel their whispers rattle around inside his chest.

Before he could even say anything, his best friend erupted, had someone looked at him funny? Did he hear someone’s comment? Misam couldn’t guess.

“Cus THATS what you idiots want isn’t it? Let’s all laugh at the fucking bird and his sidekick, LAUGH IT UP! GO ON! I’m sure your pompous, ugly looking TROLLS Have nothing better to do!”

Suryas enraged shouts echoed through the room, Misam could feel his face grow incredibly hot. And wait.. Sidekick? Is that what Surya..no, no he’s just angry, Misam convinced himself.

“Surya! Stop it. Please, let’s just go-“

“NO, they need to-“

“Surya I’m serious, this is embarrassing, please stop shouting-“

“Don’t tell me what to do! If it’s so embarrassing why don’t YOU leave!”

“BECAUSE I NEED YOU!”

The room went silent.

Surya stared at him.

Misam stared back, before shrinking away, did he really just say that?

Suddenly, without his permission, he found himself fleeing the room, bursting through the doors and running until his lungs ached.

Surya followed shortly after.

They exchanged looks.

They exchanged Words. Emotions. Apologies.

And a kiss.

The soil was becoming crowded, roots curling around the empty spaces of the pot, squeezing. The plant became littered with tiny, sharp pricks.

Misam knew it would flower soon.

They always flower.

——————————————————————

Misam could see the spikes littering the plant, he thought it was beautiful, he gently placed a finger on the end of one of its many spikes, flinching at the foreign pain it inflicted on his skin. It was so new. The pain was his fault, though.

He ignored the danger.

He watered it anyway.

——————————————————————

It took no time at all for the two of them to return to normal, both choosing to ignore the events of the previous, it didn’t matter anyway. They always bounced back, they always grew stronger. Their friendship bloomed after every wither, decay was implausible.

So they laughed, Misam continued to prevent Surya from causing too much mass chaos, and Surya told Misam he loved him.

They really did love each other.

Misam loved Surya so much.

Surya loved.

It was a beautiful, twisting pattern of roots in Misams lungs.

——————————————————————

The tension in the air was thick. The two stood in Misams home, the cold wind whipped against the glass windows, shaking the frames as sharp rain lashed against the walls. It was almost ironic that the cracks of lightning paled in comparison to the expression resting uncomfortable on Suryas face.

“So. That’s how you really feel? I’m too angry, I’m too loud, I’m too hard to handle? Right?” Surya spat, venom dripping from his tongue.

“No! That's not what I said at all! If you’d just-“

“But that's how you feel isn’t it? You won’t tell me, because you don’t tell me ANYTHING! I’m not a fucking mind reader Misam!” Surya shouted, barely allowing his friend any room for rebuttal, the walls shook.

A single, fully grown plant overlooked the two, it’s spikes protruding from every angle.

“I tried to! I tried so many times Surya, but you never-“

“YOU NEVER TRIED! Don’t give me that bullshit Misam, you expect me to just KNOW, as If I’m meant to cater to your every need!”

Surya was swinging his arms around, angry gestures turning into frantic flails of rage. Misam was growing angry too.

“MAYBE I’d have tried harder if you were around! I CANT tell you shit, BECAUSE YOU’RE NEVER FUCKING HERE!” Misam began to shout, the roots in his lungs sucked the air from them, he breathed heavily as he let out all his tears.

“You disappear for entire DAYS, and then I'M the bad guy because I want to know what happened?! Don’t think I didn’t notice you sneaking off, what is it you’re not telling me Surya!? What’s SO important that you see it fit to leave me in the dark all the time?” Words tumbled out his mouth like a hot, angry waterfall. Misam couldn’t stop it, he didn’t want to.

Surya’s face grew hot with rage.

“WHY SHOULD I TELL YOU ANYTHING?! YOU DONT GET TO KNOW, I DONT NEED YOUR HELP!” Surya screamed without thinking, tears burned his eyes, blurring his vision of Misam.

Maybe his blindness fuelled his anger. He could ignore the pain on Misams face, he could ignore the thorns tearing at his heart. Maybe they didn’t hurt him, maybe it was his heart that was made of thorns.

Words fell out his heart, boiling hot words intended to pierce. Did he ever really love Misam? He could live without his love.

Maybe he loved the feeling, not the person.

Either way, he was filled with spikes. And he screamed them out.

“I DONT NEED YOU, I NEVER NEEDED YOU AND I NEVER WILL, DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?!”

He waved his hands, knocking a small, overgrown pot onto the floor. He ignored the way it smashed and sent shards of pottery across the floor. He was done growing.

“I. DON’T. NEED. YOU.”

The words scraped his throat, but they were gone. They were somewhere else now, puncturing someone else’s heart.

He spun around and slammed the door as he left, ignoring the scattered soil and broken promises.

He left someone standing there, left them to deal with the clean up.

They didn’t need such a prickly plant anyway.

Even still, they watered it with their tears.

Maybe they’d replant it again. Maybe it will flower this time. Maybe they’d keep planting circles until they can see what was real.

Maybe it could have been beautiful.