—> In sheep’s clothing

“Okay okay, seems like you won’t stop with this nonsense will you”

She slammed the phone onto the stand beside me, so hard the stand wobbled at the force and a few of my makeup brushes rolled onto the floor with a tap. I let out a long sigh at the look in her eyes when the lights reflected from her round glasses. The room felt like it got a 100 times more colder just by the stare she gave me as I continued to attempt to fix up my eyeliner. 

“Charlene what the fuck do you want from me? I was asked what I think will put up the ratings and I said maybe some chicks? How the hell is that so crazy. I know most of the audience are virgins in their 30s who think “femboys” are meant to all be a certain.. way heh.. but so what? We can have more of a scope if we include some pussy, trust me. I.. hate to say that since I do crave being the main thing everyone is looking at but fuck man you wanted ratings”

I give her a quick look and she shakes her head and presses her palm to her forehead in annoyance. She leans down to pick up the makeup brushes and hands them to me pretty aggressively, her hair falls from behind her eyes and she tucks it once again. I take the brushes with a tsk and use one of the round ones for some glitter over my cheeks. 

I knew she wasn’t going to agree with me, she wanted to keep my loyal fan base. The ones who fetishised the hell out of what they thought I was. They were the ones who paid the most and she was all about the cash at the end of the day as my manager and I guess as a pimp if I’m being honest. 

“Fine. You can do ONE..” she holds up her finger in front of my face, making me flinch for a second. “ONE video with a girl as a test. I’ll bring in some low name actress so she doesn’t take away the view from you. Neko, one. Im serious.”

When she called me by my stage name I growled to myself, how I hated that name. I couldn’t shake it off since I debuted since my obvious pick up was my neko cosplay for those anime freaks. I fixed up my hair and gave her a nod since that’s all I could muster up after her attitude towards me. 

At least I was getting something my way. Anyway I could fit them just to get the smallest change or thing I prefer was a victory for me. As I was getting ready to stand up she made some calls and gave me the go to. 

A trail model happened to be on set today for a lesbian scene, from what I overheard she seemed to be VERY new to all of this which made me a little pissed off. I didn’t like working with new models since they had the worst acting, it wasn’t even about the sex it was the acting I could barely get through. As much as I live for sex I took it seriously when I was on set, I was good at what I do and I didn’t want some low grade whore ruining my image. I assumed this was all a setup to make me say nevermind but I couldn’t cave like that. 

I walk past Charlene and pick up my bag so I can go onto the set and see what exactly I was up to. I walked through the hallway near my dressing room and of course some of the new interns had their eyes glued to me, I couldn’t hear what they whispered but it wasn’t the first time. 

I gave a fake smile to the cutest one, which wasn’t saying much, and he immediately looked away with his face bright red. I chuckled as I continued to walk away and i kept my walk strong. Once I arrived on set, which was the stereotypical school set for those weird lesbian step mother and teacher ones (you know the ones, perv) and I sat right next to the director which made him jump a little, I’m assuming Charlene didn’t tell him. 

“Neko? What are you doing here? Happy to see you but what’s the occasion? We just were able to shoot the first scene with the girls,”

He gave me a warm smile, he wasn’t a bad guy of the bunch if I’m being honest. He was oblivious to all the shit I had been through with the higher ups like Phil and Charlene so I wasn’t ever mean to him. He was an honest guy and very respectful to all the actors. I returned the smile and leaned back In the chair a little.

“Ahh yeah, I’m just here since Charlene said I can try a scene with the new chick so I can see if it’ll work for us. I’m assuming since I was offered to work with her she is one of those “bisexual for the camera” gals” 

He laughs and taps his hand on his thigh as he is replying to me. 

“Yup. You’d be right. She said she was up for a try since she was a bit nervous starting off with a guy so we thought this should help her feel a lot more relaxed.” 

I smiled at his consideration, it was such a nice gesture to even give a shit what she was preferring. I wish I worked with him more often if I’m honest here. I feel like if he was the director for my scenes he’d be a lot more involved than Charlene when it came to what my thoughts were. I gave a dramatic eye roll.

“Fuckkkk nooo, I can’t stand that crap. I mean yeah be flexible but those straight ass bitches give it one lick then giggle for 5 minutes then just go to giving the other carpet burn. Fucks sake”

The director gives a hearty laugh and shakes his head as he is almost in tears. I can’t help but laugh with him. 

“Oh neko, Jesus. I wouldn’t think the famous Neko Femboy would be a cunnilingus connoisseur”

He nudges me with his elbow just as a girl walks up to him, dressed up in some skimpy school dress. She was naturally breathtaking that’s for sure, if she had any surgery done I’d love to meet the surgeon. Her face was lightly covered with some freckles which looked to be real. She moved her chestnut hair from her face as her eyes met mine and I couldn’t help but smile at her which seemed to make her nervous a little. 

“Oh.. I didn’t think I’d be meeting royalty on my first day”

Her voice is warm and sweet and I never expected anything less with the aura she gave when she walked into view. She gave a polite bow with a small giggle at her own comment. The director put out his hand for a handshake and she firmly returned the gesture. 

“Haha, yes Jess I’m happy that you know Neko here since an opportunity just opened up actually. His manager is looking for a female model to partner up with him for a scene or two and if you are up for it we can definitely get you to be the one! If you’d like of course”

The tone is so reassuring, not a hint of force or pressure. It made me give a sad smile to myself as I played with my necklace. No way would she give me that option. Jess opened her mouth in shock and it quickly turned into a smile. 

“No fucking way… A scene with Neko? Already? Of course!”

She hops on the spot and it pulls me from my thoughts. It gave me a little of an ego boost if I’m being honest and I leaned back more on my chair. 

“Mhmmm, look at you. Getting far already” 

I make sure my tone is playful rather than cocky and I stand up to give her a handshake as well, only now seeing our height difference. She is probably just over 5 foot and I’m at 6’2. I had to fight the urge to tap her on the head as a joke but I didn’t want to seem like I was looking down at her. Ha. Get it. 

“Aw shucks, I’d love to work with you. I actually tried to learn from a few of your first solo scenes to try and find what works for me… for angles and such you know? Of course that’s before I had a proper set”

He started to rambled a little but then looked up at me again and returned my handshake. She held my hand a little longer than I thought she would.

“Ah please.. the early shit was so embarrassing I don’t know how I picked up without the help” 

I tried to remain humble but I had the urge to brag like hell about all how quickly it took for me to get into the top 10 of all time. The director writes something down and watches us as we talk before tapping a pen on his notepad with some messy notes on it. 

“You know what, since it’s just a test scene how do you guys feel about improvisation? You two have natural chemistry here that’s for sure and the attraction is there which is perfect. You two can discuss limits and what you’d prefer before we start or just jump right in if you feel cool with that.”

He turns to the girl and puts a hand on her shoulder.

“Jess, I know you haven’t got much experience with that but Neko actually does a lot of improvised scenes so I’m sure he can lead you on. How does this sound?”

She pauses for a second before looking up at me and nodding then meeting his eyes. She looks eager but terrified at the same time.

“Oh haha wow, that’s a big ask but I’m sure I’ll be fine with Neko to help me”

The director pats us both on the back and talks to an assistant about his idea and to stop the scene she had planned for now. The assistant walks over to the dressing room to tell the other actress I assume. I walk her over to the other set In the meantime, of course it’s the generic bedroom set with all white and the fake balcony in the background. 

When we are alone her walk changed, it’s a lot more comfortable and it gives me a lot more confidence working with her to know she has a bit of trust. 

“God I’m sorry I look like a wreck I bet. I really really didn’t think I’d even get the chance to meet you.. I.. I didn’t even know you did scenes with girls?”

She sits on the bed and I sit beside her, I be professional enough to keep a distance but she moves closer anyway. I let out a sigh and nod. 

“Eh yeah I don’t. My bitch of a manager and her boy toy don’t like the idea of it. Says it’ll ruin my branding or something like that heh..”

I go to say more as it naturally comes out thanks to her sweet nature. I didn’t want to get too vulnerable though as I didn’t know her much and her connections even as a trail model. I didn’t want to let her in but I’ve not had anyone to vent to lately. All my anger I’ve been taking out in ways I don’t think I can say or like to admit to myself. 

She gives me a worried look and puts her hand on my thigh. I don’t expect it so I jump just a little and my face goes red. Jess looks up at me and leans her shoulder to touch mine. 

“I think you should have some say in what you’d want. You are a grown man and you make most of this company’s money.. you aren’t some cash cow you are a person”

My words catch in my throat as she talks in a way that feels so genuine, so comforting. Something I swear I’ve craved for years of my life was said in a few seconds. I study her eyes for any hint of deception but I don’t see anything. I put my hand over hers and I lean in just as she did. 

“I.. fuck. I don’t know what to say that’s.. I can’t say how much I’ve needed to hear that.”

My heart hurts but in a good way, it hurts bittersweet that someone I had only known for a few minutes was able to give me something I’ve waited years to hear some people I know. She starts to move her hand a little higher on my thigh and she squeezes tighter, her touch and her words have me not sure how to react with words in return so I’m hoping I can do it with action. 

“Don’t worry, Neko. I’m here for you, okay?”

She moves towards my face but pushes to my ear instead and gives the softest whisper, it makes my hair hand on end from the tone she uses. 

“… be a good boy, Neko and I’ll be here forever”

It makes me sigh out of need as soon as the words. I melt almost completely till a movement catches my attention in the distance, I go to look but she catches my chin and forces me into a deep and aggressive kiss. I was already turned on by her so my hands wrap around her waist almost immediately. 

She had got me so vulnerable so quickly my mind didn’t have a chance to fight itself on whether it wanted to be submissive or dominant. She took control of me in a second and I was willing to do anything to return the favor. 

I moan soft against her lips, such a nice strawberry lipgloss against mine. I can’t help but bite a little on her lip when I pull her tighter to me and enough she climbs into my lap. Her body against mine with her hands running down my chest to pull on my shirt and slip it off. My mind runs a million miles at this point at the taste and feel of her body and her heart. I feel it beating against my chest as she unbuttons her shirt and has her chest pressed to mine. 

Her bra so nicely tight to her skin making her look like an angel but all I wanted to do was tear it off her. The urge kept growing and I couldn’t stop all the thoughts getting more and more overwhelming. I needed to keep the other feelings away and not use this as just another distraction, not as another way to cope with the lack of control. As a way to fight back against everyone whoever hurt me but doing so to a kind stranger. 

I get so lost inside I push her hard to the bed and pin her. Almost panting at the lust through my veins. She looks at me with her sweet eyes so trusting and.. caring. Not even flinching at the way I pushed her so roughly to the bed. 

“… Have me, Neko. You can have me. Have me for as long as you want me”

She whispers and puts her arms around my neck to pull me into a kiss as she runs her fingers through my hair. I press my body to hers again and she starts moving her hips against me making it impossible for me not to do the same. She pulls from my lips and pushes her face into my neck and grinds harder through small sighs. 

“… I need you please. I’ve wanted you for so long, ever since I saw you I wanted you to claim me. Have me all to yourself. Yes! Please fuck me neko”

I pause. I completely stop. Her tone changed. Her words… changed. I knew this tone and these empty words. I heard them again and again.

I slowly pull from her. I turn my head and fight her trying to get my attention again. 

I knew it.

There she sat. The whole time. 

Charlene. 

The camera… on. 

“What’s wrong, Shiki? Don’t like to improvise?”