Howl Questionnaire

1. What are your names?

“I have one I like, and one I don’t like. So the name’s Howl.

2. Do you know why you were named that?

“I came up with it myself. Couldn’t really be a pirate called Emily. Everyone does these nickname things nowadays.”

3. What are you?

“A pirate, a wolf, your friend, your foe, pick one before I do.”

4. What's your gender?

“Female, of course. What else would I be?”

5. How old are you?

“Heh, people are always surprised by this one… I’m 19. Heh, I know, teen pirate, but it’s possible alright.”

6. What do you think your life expectancy is?

“And how the fuck am I supposed to predict that? All I know is that I’d rather die young!”

7. What's your height?

“Uhh… Okay, I’m a little smaller than most people, but don’t let that put you off, alright?”

8. What's your eye color?

“Purple… I hope you were looking at my face rather than anything else… pervert…”

9. How about hair color?

“Pretty cool, huh? Born with black hair, gave myself a hint of purple on the front.

10. Do you think you're attractive?

“You clearly seem to think so after having to ask what colour my fuckin’ eyes are. But me? I think I’ve got it all, but I can’t date myself, so…”

11. Do you have any features that you want to get rid of, if you could?

“My parents. Can you do that for me? I’ll pay ya plenty of gold.~”

12. How would you introduce yourself? If you are famous in your world, how would you introduce yourself to someone who had never heard of you?

“Ohhh, now Captain Howl sounds fuckin’ cool… But for my ship? I’ll have to think on that one…”

13. Have any abilities or powers?

“I had a bit of witchcraft in me, but I never use it anymore. It’s not as powerful as you may think it is.”

14. Stop being a Mary-sue!

“…. Who?”

15. What do you usually wear?

“Whatever I want. Sometimes it’s something I like, sometimes it’s nothing at all. Who gets to choose what I wear anyway?”

16. Do you ever walk around naked? 

“If there’s no perverts like you around, then yeah. If I ever had the chance, I would!”

17. Ever cross-dressed before?

“If pirate clothes counts as cross dressing, then yeah, I do it all the time.”

18. What do you wear to bed?

“Usually nothing. I sleep alone.”

19. What's in your pockets right now?

“Let’s see… My gun, a dagger, a gold coin… That’s about it!”

20. To what social class do you belong?

“… You made that up, didn’t you?”

21. What is your job?

“I’ve said it like, multiple times, I’m a pirate. How is that not obvious?”

22. What is your lifelong dream?

“I want everyone to fear me as they hear my name, see my ship, and see how strong my crew are! Basically what you call ‘world dominance’.”

23. What is your worst nightmare?

“Probably being kidnapped only to be brought back to my parents again… Not that I like them or anything, but I can’t imagine that going good either way…”

24. How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)?

“Heh, a few lies never hurt anyone, right?”

25. What's one thing you like and one thing you dislike about your personality?

“Let’s see… I like that I’m pretty much a badass bitch with no care in the world! Only thing I don’t like is that death threats are the only way I make friends. Aw well, that’s their fault for looking at me wrong.”

26. What do you do on a regular basis?

“Kill, eat, sleep, collect bounties, find treasure. You know, the usual.”

27. Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do?

“Does killing, kidnapping and theft count as hobbies? Because I fuckin’ love all of those!”

28. That's cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don't like.

“You… Why so many questions? You trying to get me wanted?”

29. What are you most afraid of?

“Bees… That’s a secret between you and I, okay?”

30. Have any secrets?

“That one I just told you about, the bee thing.”

31. Name your worst habits?

“Why don’t you name a habit you hate about me, hmm?”

32. Any nasty indulgences, like smoking or gambling?

“I guess drinking goes in that category… Not a lot, mind you, I’m sometimes responsible… I’ve never done gambling before, but that’s just because I have no idea how to play.”

33. Have any of you ever done illegal things knowingly (don't include petty things like jaywalking)? What were they?

“All of them.”

34. Are you one to hold a grudge?

“A grudge? As in… A temper? Then yeah, sometimes.”

35. What do you do when you're upset?

“I just do what any other person does… Go to bed and cry myself to sleep. If I ever cried, that is…”

36. What's one thing that could potentially cause you to go into a blind rage?

“Perverts like you trying to hit on me. I swear, if any of you guys even try to get me pregnant, I’ll fuckin’ hunt ya until the day you die.”

37. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it?

“Hmm, there’s a few I could name… None of them seem to be standing out… Come back to me on that one, alright?”

38. What's your preferred weapon of choice?

“My gun. Great range, great accuracy, one shot and you’re dead. If ya take care of your weapons, then you really can’t go wrong with it.”

39. What is your favorite colour?

“Purple. Same as my hair, my eyes, and a bit of my fur.”

40. Favorite drink?

“Rum. Can’t beat the classics.~”

41. Alright. What's your favorite food?

“Anything someone can actually cook good, I don’t give a shit what I eat.”

42. What are your thoughts on pie?

“Pie? What’s pie?”

43. What's your favorite ice cream flavor?

“Are you-, are you making this shit up? The fuck is.. ice cream?”

44. Where are you from?

“A place I never wanna go back to. Don’t even wanna remember the name.”

45. What's your favorite place?

“This ship. I can take it as far away from my childhood home as possible, heheh.”

46. What's your least favorite place?

“Have you been paying attention at all?”

47. Where do you wish you could be right now, regardless of whether it's real or not?

“Here, I guess? I dunno, I never thought of anywhere else to go…”

48. What is the first thing you tend to notice when you first meet someone?

“Where their eyes are looking. Some of them just love to look at a woman’s body for some reason…”

49. What is your favorite season?

“I’d say… Probably Spring. That one’s straight in the middle of hot and cold, which is perfect.”

50. Do you believe in love at first sight?

“No, but I do believe in creeps at first sight.”

51. Gay, straight, or bi?

“Straight… If you’re talking about who I’d rather be with, then I guess a man.”

52. Are you interested in anyone?

“… no… I mean, not really. Why?”

53. What do you look for in a partner?

“If I had no choice, then… Someone that knows that I can look after myself, someone that doesn’t care what choices I make, and I guess someone that can do whatever they want for me.”

54. What's your idea of a perfect date?

“Probably one where we take on a big bounty together and claim plenty of gold to spend on each other after we throw that bounty behind the cells!”

55. Are you single or taken?

“I’ve got Makari, I guess… So, I’m taken for now…”

56. Are you a virgin?

“Yeah, but I’d rather have a stronger man break my virginity for me.”

57. Have you ever kissed anyone? If so, who was your first? Who was your last?

“Makari and I don’t even kiss… We just say we’re dating so that he has an excuse to talk shit about me. Man, I fuckin’ hate that guy…”

58. What is your favorite thing to touch?

“My gun. Ya know, the one I kill people with?”

59. Ever wanna marry and have kids one day?

“If I ever had kids, I’d have no time to be a pirate. But I’ve always been curious about how pregnancy works… How would that look on me, and… would I be able to do it? I dunno, I like being a free woman, and I’d rather keep it that way.”

60. Have any family members?

“I had family members… Until I ran away from all of them”

61. Oh? How about pets?

“Nope. No pets around here.

62. How many friends do you have?

“If you count crew as friends, then I guess a few.”

63. If the one you cared most about in your life were to somehow die today, how would you react and what would you do?

“If Makari died? Oh well, time to throw him off the deck…. Because that’s how pirate funerals go…”

64. Do you look up to anyone at all?

“No, not really. If anything, I look up to me.”

65. Do you hate anyone?

“My parents… How many times have I gotta say that?”

66. Who is your worst enemy?

“…. You know who it is by now.”

67. Have you ever hurt anyone in anyway before?

“Many people on many ways, and I don’t regret it one bit.”

68. Ever... killed anyone before?

“Yes… All pirates kill people…”

69. Under what circumstances do you think killing someone justified, in general?

“Simple: If they wanna hurt me in any way. A woman’s gotta stand up for herself after all.”

70. Are you wanted for anything?

“I hope not… Then loads of pirate will be looking for me…”

71. Uh... if you were to get in a fight with a strong wrestler, do you think you'd win?

“Probably the wrestler… Unless guns are allowed?~”

72. What's one of your fondest childhood memories?

“Leaving my parents. Obviously.”

73. If you could go back and change one thing about the past, would you? What would you change?

“Leaving my parents sooner.”

74. What kind of animal are you most like?

“A wolf… Because I am a wolf?”

75. Do/did you go to school?

“For a bit… Until I ran away.”

76. Do you have fangirls/fanboys?

“Who the-, no! What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

77. If you're a girl, what's your cup size? If you're a guy, how big are you?

“I dunno, I guess… Average?”

78. What's one phrase you overuse?

“I don’t have a phrase, nor do I want one.”

79. Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean?

“Ocean. I’ve sailed across it all the time…”

80. Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

“Yeah, but that’s just because I don’t wanna get my clothes wet. Who does want to get their clothes wet anyway?”

81. How long can you stay under water?

“Long enough, I hope…”

82. Any fetishes?

“Does imprisoning people who are in my wanted contract count as a fetish?”

83. Seme or uke?

“… In English?”

84. Which do you like more, sad stories or happy stories?

“Epic stories that are about me, and about all the cool shit I do!”

85. Camping or indoors?

“Camping. If that’s what you mean by where would I rather sleep.”

86. Do you like to sing or dance?

“Neither. I hate being in shanties, and I don’t wanna dance either…”

87. To what degree do you avoid risks and danger?

“Absolutely fucking none!”

88. What makes you vulnerable?

“Maybe the fact that I’m a woman, and not some muscular man.”

89. Under what circumstance would you risk your own life for someone else?

“None.”

90. How would you describe your current adventuring companions to a friend you trust?

“The same way I did it to you. But we’re not friends.”

91. What do you do to relax?

“Same thing you do, I guess… Sleep??”

92. What's the best piece of advice you've ever had?

“I had one contract say ‘just kill me already’ and I was like ‘okay’ and then he was dead!”

93. Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at.

“Fighting, murder, guns. For the bad things? My temper, my trust, and my fear of bees.”

94. If you could choose, how would you want to die?

“Fighting. I wanna die fighting!”

95. If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left.

“Kill myself. Ya know, just get on with it, I don’t have the patience to suffer for 24 hours.”

96. What's one word that best describes you?

“I had someone call me scary before, so I guess that counts?”

97. What would you do if you could meet your creator?

“My parents, or some invisible person I’ll probably never meet because I don’t believe in that kind of stuff?”

98. What are your impressions about the other interviewees?

“I dunno, where are they?”

99. Do you even want to be here?

“No, not really. I can’t believe I’ve been here long enough to go through… What is it, a hundred questions?”

100. What do you spend most of your time doing?

“Being a pirate, so you can guess on that.”

—

“Fucking finally, I can fuck off… Oh, and if I ever see you looking at my body again, you’re dead, ya got that?” - Howl