saltkin

storybooks existed to honor heroic princes, to tell the tales of saddened princesses, to make sure the bad guy always got what was coming to them. edgar believed no differently.

but he was not a storybook prince, nor would he ever be. the crown that weighed upon his head was never to be one of heroism. his story began and ended with useless misery, saturating a dull life with pointless hues of tragic red and blue.

edgar had no joy to be found in recounting his life story- princesses of foreign lands trying to court him were always met with the same empty smiles, practiced for hours to seem genuine. there was no way or reason to live reflected in his irises. where each of the potential partners his family pushed him through had eyes that sparkled with desire and determination for a better, happy life, his reflected back a soulless blackness.

there was no surprise when he eventually mumbled a quick apology to one of the courting royals, disappearing back into the halls of his castle. he stayed hidden in the library for hours, until a sweet, caramel haired maid knocked upon the door, informing him that the princess had headed home. the maid listened to his heartfelt apologies, offering a warm smile. 

"you'll click with a reason for being alive someday, my lord," she had hummed, "we all have to find our purpose."

the prince was beginning to think his purpose was to feel all the kingdom's pain at once, letting his people remain happy. he voiced this once, to a knight, who shifted uncomfortably on the balcony beside him. the knight, brendan, had shaken his head. 

"they're not truly happy unless you are," he replied, armor clanging softly as he leaned against the railing in front of them. edgar's hands tightened around it, lips pursed in thought. the two were silent for a long time, before the prince pushed himself off the railing, thanking the knight, disappearing somewhere deep into the castle.

a prince was supposed to be brave. to lead. to be fearless charging into battle for his kingdom. a princess was supposed to be dainty. to be soft. to sit in her tower and look down upon her people while they adored her from afar. 

edgar was beginning to doubt he'd ever fit in either of those categories. 

there was nothing about him that screamed dainty maiden nor fearless warrior. maybe the ideas they had to be separate ideas was a bit old-fashioned, but he couldn't help looking back on them now and again. it was hard not to, when he second guessed himself so often anyway.

he sat in his dining hall, fingers running along the old wood of their table, trying to imagine the tree it originally came from. it must have been large, to become a surface this grand. it stretched the whole length of the room, hosting nearly a hundred chairs. the wood was thick, holding strong despite the various carvings that had been embedded in it from some previous guests. the surface had notches from dinner knives being shoved violently into it, and the edges had various marks from heavy armor and sheathed weapons being lent upon it while their owners dined.

foolish as he may of felt afterwards, edgar admired the table. he envied it. its purpose came, and it had never stopped serving. he needed to be more like that table. while his lips twitched in amusement telling himself that, he did take it seriously.

the next group of royals who came to his kingdom, looking to marry and merge territory, edgar greeted them individually with wide smiles. the orchestra played low as he moved around the ballroom, trading off partners with a newfound enthusiasm. the caramel haired maid, fawn, cast a proud smile his direction when he passed by her. edgar winked in reply.

when the music died down and they all shuffled towards the dining hall, edgar caught the maid's elbow in his hand, pulling her back into the ballroom. she seemed surprised at first, but after a moment, she grinned at him.

"so, my lord, have you found yourself?" she asked, a hopeful glint sparkling in her eyes. edgar shook his head, but spoke before she could frown.

"not yet, but i'm searching. my purpose is out there, and i'm not going to mope around until it waltzes through my chamber door," he murmured, a shy smile on his face. the maid clapped her hands together in joy, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"wherever you find it, i will be there to serve you," she said, a serious tone in her voice. edgar laughed, then. a genuine laugh, one that few had heard of him since childhood. he pulled the girl into a hug, drawing a surprised squeak from her lungs. 

"thank you, fawn. i'd be lost without you. would you like to join us for dinner tonight?" edgar offered, mumbling about her borrowing one of his sister's old dresses to blend in with the others. the maid blinked for a moment in shock, before nodding. 

edgar called brendan over, telling him to escort fawn to his older sister's room, and to treat her as a royal the whole way. he spotted a gleaming smile behind the knight's mask before the two made their way towards the stairwell.

this was going to be edgar's first night of happiness in a very, very long time.