Trust

Sootpaw | ThunderClan 

After being decorated by Emberpaw  and a brief chat with Addertail, Sootpaw was determined to find  Palepaw. He felt like he hadn’t seen her since ShadowClan was first  brought into their territory for safety. He missed her quiet and gentle  company. He also wanted to check in and see if Addertail was being nice  to her since it seemed that her mentor was being nice to him. Rather,  polite at the very least.

The dark tabby weaved through a sea of cats,  ThunderClan and ShadowClan alike. Surely she couldn’t be hard to find.  Her snowy pelt made her stand out. And he was right. He finally spotted  her sticking to the outskirts of the crowd.

”Palepaw! There you are,” he breathed a sigh of relief.

Her eyes flitting through the  clearing, Palepaw had to make an effort to not flinch back as figures  roamed past here, brushing her soft fur. She had already wandered to the  very edge of the camp but having both ThunderClan and ShadowClan cats  in camp filled it up to the brim nevertheless.

Or maybe she just felt as  if it was. Could one drown in a sea of cats? The albino had never done  well with large crowds and probably never would. Taking a few hesitant  steps back, she wasn’t quite sure where to go when her eyes lightened  up, finding a familiar dark pelt move towards her.

Though she did want  to come to meet him halfway she didn’t exactly favor throwing herself  fully into the masses. Instead the pale apprentice opted to wait until  he reached her himself, returning his greeting with a smile, weak but  relieved to be with someone she could find comfort in.

”Sootpaw, you look… really pretty”,  Palepaw added with a small, curious tilt of her head as she noticed the  flowers adorning her friends pelt, distracting her from the cats around  for a few seconds. They were quite a nice addition, standing out even  more with their bright colors on his dark pelt.

The immediate compliment made his cheeks turn warm.

”Oh! Uhm, th-thank you,” he replied sheepishly. ”Emberpaw picked them out. I’ve kind of been wanting to decorate my pelt for a while now so I think I’m going to keep them…” Between Emberpaw and Palepaw both telling him that he looked nice with  the flowers, he felt that that was all the encouragement he needed to  keep them.

”How have you been? I feel like I haven’t seen much of you recently.” The smokey tom gave his pale friend a warm smile. It really was good to  actually be able to spend time with her again. There was a happy swish  of his floral tail as hazel hues searched the expression on the pretty  molly’s face.

Emberpaw… She hadn’t talked much  to the ShadowClan apprentice much since the last time but they were  undeniably very kind. And seeing how happy Sootpaw was about having  found a new friend cheered her up a bit, too. Maybe she should go talk  to them some time? Their last 'conversation' - the others had done most  of the talking - had been quite pleasant and a friendly face was always a  relief in these chaotic times.

”They have good taste, it suits you, really.” Flowers were always beautiful though they looked even more so on her  friend.

Palepaw hesitated to respond to his question, eventually  uncertainly shrugging her shoulders. She was fine, she supposed. It took  her a lot to keep calm with all the cats cramped in camp but had been  keeping herself busy, avoiding giving it too much thought.

”I  suppose so…? I've been helping around as needed and recently Addertail  taught me how to defend myself in a fight so I guess next time anything  happens I'll be prepared?” Her expression wasn’t confident at  all, betraying her words. In first place she’d rather nothing to happen  at all. To not have the prospect of having to fight to begin with. A  peaceful life without any life-or-death situations for once would be a  blessing from StarClan.

”Thank you, Palepaw,” he purred. He sat down and curled his flowery tail around his paws. He  tried to hide how flustered he was getting by distracting himself with  pawing at a couple of the flowers.

Sootpaw lifted his head again as his  friend spoke. Something about her tone was off. More so, her expression  showed that she didn’t believe her own words.

”Defense is definitely important.” Was she still bothered by training? Did it have something to do with  Addertail? Should he press? He decided against it, if she wanted to tell  him, she would.

”Kind of crazy to think about the fact that  we’ll be warriors in just a few moons… I wonder if ShadowClan will still  be here when that happens…” He said it so soft it was almost like a thought that just kind of slipped out of his maw.

Warriors. Right, she was already ten moons old. In a blink of an eye moons had passed and she knew she had grown but despite that she still felt as helpless as before.  The notion of soon having to stand on her own, as an adult and a  warrior, terrified her in a way she couldn’t describe.

The albino sighed  softly and nodded. ”Time seems to pass by quite fast. Hopefully  they'll be able to claim back their camp and drive the… the traitors  out before we gain our warrior names.”

On the other side, what  if they had to help fight? Obviously Fernstar wouldn’t send the  ShadowClanners back on their own, they’d combine their forces and make a  plan to totally destroy the invaders.

But Palepaw knew she’d totally  lose if sent into any battle. She could barely avoid swipes thrown at  her, never mind attack someone herself - that just wasn’t her nature.  One of the many reasons she knew she’d never make it as a  warrior. But was there another path for her to take?

No, there wasn’t  much point in thinking about it, she decided as she shook her head. What  was bound to happen, would happen and she didn’t want to ruin others  mood.

”What do you think our warrior names might be? Sootflower maybe?”, the pale apprentice switched topic, grazing one of the flowers with a swish of her tail.

The tom nodded as his friend  spoke. His hazel gaze hovered on the pale molly thoughtfully. She didn’t  seem too happy, but he couldn’t tell which part she seemed unhappy  with. His heart ached for her as it occurred to him that it was most  likely all of it that bothered her. Including the idea of becoming a  warrior.

”I hope so too. I can’t imagine that Emberpaw and  Softpaw want to be made warriors outside of their home… and our  apprentice den might seem cramped now but the warrior den seems so much  worse…” He wasn’t too bothered by sharing the camp with  ShadowClan. In fact, he was happy to be able to help. But even he  couldn’t deny that tripping over each other every day was a bit much.

He  had gone from keeping mostly to himself, to constantly bumping elbows  with other cats. He never really talked about it, partially out of fear  that Emberpaw might overhear, but the whole situation did stress him  out. But he would take whatever was thrown his way to help and  eventually get his friend back home.

Snapping back out of his thoughts,  he gave the molly a warm smile.

”Thats a really nice name. Maybe you could hint at it to Fernstar,” he chuckled softly. ”For you… Maybe Palesong? For your sweet, gentle voice? Or… Paleheart perhaps?”

The albino nodded slowly, her lowered gaze contemplative as Sootpaw  spoke. Thankfully her nest was next to her brothers and placed on the  outer edge of the apprentice den, making it easier to avoid being caught  in the crowd while sleeping. Otherwise she'd probably have more  sleepless nights than other. "It must be weird to have your clan  split in half... Their warrior ceremony would be no celebration for  them, under this circumstances."

With family and friends split  in half and familiar voices missing instead of calling their name, it'd  just remind them once again of their circumstances.

Sudden heat shot  into her face. A few seconds Palepaw only blinked, stunned by words  spoken. If no thick fur hid her skin, one would've been able to see her  skin flushing vibrant red.

"W-wha- what - what - what-",  unable to control her stuttering, she stopped speaking altogether for a  minute and hid her face behind her own paws. She hadn't felt that  flustered in a long time, or had she ever? "D-don't t-tease me... My-my voice i-i-is but av-average..."

She had never been great at receiving compliments - that what was going  on, right? - but with how clumsy she behaved even now, she'd rather be  called Palefall.

His ears drooped as Palepaw mentioned the ShadowClanners’ warrior  ceremonies not feeling like true celebrations. It made sense, of course.  Had Sootpaw been in that situation, even if he managed to keep his  grief internal, it wouldn’t change the sting of not being made a warrior  in his own home. ”Yeah… Hopefully it won’t come to that.” 

It was bad enough that his parents wouldn’t be there to call out his  warrior name, he didn’t want his friends to go through the same pain. He  took a deep breath, choosing to push that hurt aside.

Sootpaw tilted  his head at Palepaw’s reaction. Had he upset her with his name ideas?  Oh! She thought he was teasing her! ”No no, I’m not teasing! I mean it! You have such a nice voice, Palepaw. I find it very soothing,” he purred reassuringly.

"W-Well... Th-thank you", Palepaw was able to mumble after a few heartbeats of silence, her head sheepishly sinking between her shoulders, "I- I still think you are e-ex-exaggerating, b-but thank you." One could infer from his voice, that Sootpaw spoke nothing but the  truth and he meant every word he said. Lies seemed to be a foreign word  to him but she appreciated honesty, even if it left her flustered and  uncapable.

Her bright, pinkish-blue eyes flicked from his face down to  her paws and back up as she seemed to decide on something, slowly  opening her mouth. "I-I like your voice, too... I-In fact! Y-yo-your whole presence is v-very comforting!"

That was also true. Otherwise she'd never have warmed up to him so  quickly, nevermind gotten so close to him as to share whatever was  troubling her sometimes, intimate bits of her inner thoughts. He was  quite similar to her, though much calmer and reassuring and even if it  was only unknowingly, Sootpaw's words often were part of the support  holding her up.

Sootpaw | ThunderClan 

A warm smile crossed his muzzle. His hazel eyes were gentle and affectionate as he gazed at the pale molly. ”I promise you, Palepaw. I would never exaggerate or lie to you.” His voice was soft yet firm, confirming, he meant it.

His smile widened  at her sweet words and he felt his own cheeks grow warm. ”I’m happy to hear that! I want you to know that you’re safe with me, always.”   

He meant that in every sense of the word. Her words, her secrets, her  emotions… even her life. He would protect her from everything. No matter  what. She was his best friend and he wanted her to know that. He wanted  to wrap his tail around her to add action to show his words weren’t  just words, but he remembered all the times she had flinched from him in  the past and paused.

”Palepaw…” he started, trying to find the right words. ”May I… put my tail around you?” There was probably a more eloquent way to ask that question, but at  least he asked first. Hopefully it was a step in the right direction to  fully gain the she-cat’s trust.

Safe... Her gaze slowly lowered  itself to her paws, contemplative as her tail curled tightly around  herself.

Ever since the dog attack... No, even before that, Palepaw had  never truly felt secure. No matter how thick the walls shielding her  from the outside were. As a kit the safest place for her seemed to be  the nursery where her family was, hiding herself deep within even as she  grew older, the only ones capable of dragging her with out sometimes  being her brother and mother or Tawnypaw.

Then her home was ripped to  pieces, her safe place turned into splinters as it was crushed to the  ground - and she nearly with it, had she not run as fast as her legs  could carry her. It was no wonder that she grew to jump at every sound,  every little movement in her surroundings. The albino knew if anything  were to happen, her brother were the first to protect her - but he had  also been the first one to abandon her when dog's teeth bared themselves  at her, leaving their marks under her soft fur.

Recovery and growth  would've been a much harder road so far, had she not made Sootpaw's  acquaintance. Even during their very first conversation, Palepaw had  found herself much more at ease than with any other strange cat, his  presence having a natural sense of comfort to itself. It found her quite  naturally, sharing her thoughts and troubles with him and also  expecting to be treated the same the other way around, without tripping  over every word leaving her mouth.

Their blossoming friendship wasn't  magic, it didn't let every nightmare seeking her out during the night  just vanish. But it gave her a sense of stability and support, something  to lean on, when her family's or Tawnypaw's concern was just too  overwhelming and too loud.

The pale apprentice blinked for a second,  looking up, before breaking into a weak smile. "Of course, you don't have to ask." But she was thankful for the consideration nevertheless.

Palepaw was silent for a long time.

He shuffled his paws awkwardly as the silence continued. She didn’t get  up and walk away so… Maybe she didn’t hate him? Maybe she was just  trying to find a polite way to tell him she didn’t want him to touch her  at all.

When she spoke up, however, all of his worries quickly  dissipated. His muscles relaxed once more and a relieved smile washed  over his features. He scooted a bit closer and delicately draped his  tail around her small, lithe frame.

”I just… didn’t want to freak you out,” was all he was able to choke out in that moment. He stifled a purr, not  wanting to over celebrate the moment, but he still felt as though this  was a step in the right direction with the anxious molly.

"Didn't I say I feel comfortable around you?", the pale apprentice mewed softly, slightly leaning onto him as her ashen friend shifted closer, "It'd be a very different thing if I didn't know you - but thankfully I do." She liked the warmth they shared, proof of their connection and  whatever may come their way in the future, they'd have each other's  backs.

Despite not being a cat who liked to be touched, trusted family  members and relatives aside, Sootpaw and Tawnypaw were probably the only  few cats she'd allow to get that close. Unless he was a cat she feared  or had no knowledge off, like Viperpaw or Applebranch, she'd probably  only ever jump if scared out of the dark, suddenly and intentionally.  But Sootpaw was no one to do that to others with purpose.

No, he treated  others with concern and worry, a soft and gentle soul similar to her  own - and still so different.

"Do I seem that skittish to you?",  Palepaw asked after a few seconds, looking up into his hazel eyes. He'd  looked so apprehensive before, waiting for her answer. It concerned her  that she may look so fragile to others, a mess to pick up after. That  wasn't who she wanted to be.

He chuckled lightly. ”You did you did, you’re right.” More confident now, he affectionately nudged her cheek. It felt nice to  have her this close. Her fur was so soft.

It pleased him to know that  she trusted him so much. He couldn’t even imagine harming another cat  but especially not her. Just the idea of something happening to her… He  was sure she could protect herself however it didn’t stop him from  wanting to protect her himself. With the rebellion going on, he was  worried about her… And his other friends of course!

”At times, yes,” Sootpaw admitted, meeting Palepaw’s blue-pink hues. ”You used to flinch when I got close to you. Then again I suppose we weren’t as close then as we are now.” He smiled at her. He was so happy she decided to give him a chance and  let him in. He cherished the bond they had formed over the last few  moons.

”That being said, there’s nothing wrong with being  skittish. I’ve never thought any less of you for it and I know Addertail  doesn’t think less of you either,” he reassured her. ”Some cats are just a little jumpier than others and there’s nothing wrong with that. And don’t let any cat tell you otherwise!” A warm purr rose into the tom’s chest.

Palepaw lowered her gaze in contemplation. There was no denying that  she used to be very cautious, even towards him when they first started  out getting to know each other. And she still acted that way towards  others, probably always would. There'd be no changing her timid nature,  unless maybe something drastic happened that wouldn't actually worsen  her behaviour.

But she had gotten better in contrast to her childhood,  especially if one thought about what she had lived through, still was in  some sense. The pale molly sighed quietly, leaning herself against her  friend again and listening to the purrs rumbling through his body.

"I suppose you're true. That means a lot to me, thanks",  she softly mumbled, slightly lowering her eye lids. Truth be told she  was content with where she was right now, with Sootpaw as her friend and  Addertail as her mentor. The latter seemed to have his own troubles but  she'd be there if he needed her until he got over them.

"Applebranch'd be sure to tell me that I'm like a kittypet again... But thank StarClan she isn't here",  a small laugh escaped her lips and Palepaw opened her eyes again, pale  hues twinkling in the light of the sun. She knew her big sister was  right like... 90 percent of the time but she always had to be so  hurtful, too. This was the sort of moment she'd never be able to share  with her.

Sootpaw | ThunderClan 

As Palepaw leaned into him, his purring got louder. He rested his chin  atop her head, taking a mental note of the fact that the shape of her  head fit perfectly in the crook of his neck. In the same moment, it  occurred to him that he had been longing for this. The warm embrace of  another cat. He closed his eyes tight as he remembered that the last cat  who had held him this close was his late mother.

He took a deep breath  and focused on Palepaw. Her voice was sweet and soothing like a  songbird. A good thing to focus on and keep him here in the now instead  of stuck in the past.

”Of course,” he murmured softly.  He gave her a friendly lick over the ear. She seemed to still have a lot  on her mind but he would let her think it through on her own. If she  wanted to tell him about it, he was sure that she would do so in her own  time.

He frowned hearing about her older sister. He already knew about  Applebranch’s treatment of Palepaw and Orbweaverpaw but it bothered him  to no end. ”I wish she wouldn’t speak to you that way. Its not fair, nor is it right.”

"Maybe", Palepaw  muttered quietly, her gaze kept low.  She didn't know if there was any  fairness in what they had, just that surely Applebranch had her reasons  for treating her that way - wether those were actually worth it or not.  And she doubted that their relationship would ever change into something  similar to what connected her and her brother, no matter how much she'd  work for it. But it was fair to be tired of it sometimes, right? Of  everything.

"It's best to not dwell on her too much. Applebranch is as likely to change her opinion as hedgehogs are to fly", the albino sighed with a faint smile, "Maybe someday I'll be able to prove myself to her. Enough so that she'll actually acknowledge me as her sister." It sounded like a fairy tale even in her own ears but she'd never give  up hope. Not as long as they were still siblings.

The albino shook her  head, nuzzling herself against Sootpaw's dark fur. "Let's...  stop talking about her. I like being with you like... this. Don't want  to let her spoil this without even being present." Her big  sister was respectable and fearful but had no right to influence every  moment in her life, especially not those she shared with him. Those  belonged to the both of them alone.

[RP END]