Sliver of Good

After countless years of traveling with the Order, Tarron’s hardened heart had begun to melt. Only for his found family, of course. He had never been incapable of love or affection, however it was very rare. And he of course would never admit to it. But he had started to feel some sort of affection for the other members of Order of the Crossbow. He had agreed to continue traveling with them after all. Even if he tried to pass off his reasoning, even to himself, as simply using them as a means to an end. 

Part of him, the little sliver of the person he used to be, remembered how they’d treated him and cared for him in those first moments they’d met. How they’d tried to protect him from becoming this monster that he was now. He wondered if they remembered that Tarron too. 

So when he was given an easy way out of a near suicide of a battle he hesitated for a moment before following Osiris out of the battle. Besides, he had what he’d wanted from the very beginning being handed to him; the ability to go home. How could any of them blame him for taking advantage of that?

After being separated from Laevakin for so long his yearning to return home had only grown. He knew it wouldn’t be a walk in the park when he met up with his ex-lover again, but after centuries of thinking, he knew he could put the pieces back together with him. Even if he was a different person now. That was all he wanted. How could any of them fault him for that? 

He clenched his jaw as the rest of the Order retreated and joined him and Osiris on the airship. He didn’t speak. He barely even looked at them. He knew that if they pressed him too much that sliver of the old him would break through the cracks and agree to help them. And they did keep pressing. And as much as he argued that goodness tucked deep inside him began to creep out anyway. He was beginning to bend. 

Then he broke. They told him that if things looked rough they’d get him out of there without a second thought. As much as he tried to find a reason to argue that, he couldn’t. 

His shoulders slumped and he let out a heavy sigh, bowing his head. “Fine.” He said through his teeth. “But the second things look bad I’m getting the fuck out of there. I don’t want to die.” 

He swore if they got him killed he’d come back and kill them all himself.