I think I like this little life.

It was cold. But a comforting kind of cold as the endless drops of snow fell to the ground. It was a rare thing to see in this country and it made a certain monster quite warm inside from the sight. He hadn’t seen such pure white in a long time– years in fact. A smile couldn’t help but be shown on his face seeing an old beauty that has come back to greet the world. 

Since he was born, he believed that one should appreciate the small things in life– especially the things that you cannot have all the time. Whether it was a feeling, a treat, a moment or an interaction. The belief carried on with him from his previous human life to his now hollow life. People believe that he is an empty shell with no heart but in fact it’s the opposite. He had always been full of love for things since he was a child that was never taken for granted. It did get better when he became a teenager but that quickly came to an end once his life ended tragically. Becoming reincarnated into the human definition of a horrid, blood-thirsty monster, didn’t sit right with him for the longest time. 

He never was a bad person, right? He never did anything to hurt anyone, right? He never fought back, right? So, why did the gods decide to continue his life as something so horrific as this? Was it their way of telling him to pursue revenge? To finally get rid of people who disrespected or hurt him?

No, he has no such desire for something that petty. 

The purple-haired mutant sighed, cold air coming out of his mouth. He learned to accept his new life and be like every hollow out there. Kill, eat, repeat. It was the same endless cycle. He was sick of it but what more can he do but to just shrivel up and die. Shaking his head, he walked forward deeper into the middle of nowhere he was previously just standing on. The snow had started to become vigorous– the previous dirty green ground being hidden by the white. With each footstep, he could hear the crunch from the snow as it filled the place. 

He needs to hurry up and catch up to that human he’s stuck with for who knows how long. He couldn’t help but click his tongue thinking about it. He’s forced to be by that guy’s presence for more reasons than one yet has a lingering curiosity about him. It frustrated him to say the least. The mutant didn’t believe he wanted to stay with him but found himself feeling welcomed by his soul even if the human’s words said otherwise. Their souls connected in many ways which both still refuse to acknowledge. The mutant hopes it stays that way. 

The hollow being started running, searching for the human as his vision was disturbed by the fog starting to form. The amount of tall trees didn’t help him as he found himself bumping into more than one. He’s trying to find the glow of the human’s pneuma weapon. The bright orangy-yellow shouldn’t be hard to find, yet he struggled for a good seven minutes in the end. 

He panted and cursed himself. He shouldn’t have stayed behind to collect himself for that long and let that hunter run off without him. 

As he was catching his breath, he heard a blood-curdling scream which immediately made him stand up straight and look at the direction it came from. It was another hollow’s scream but it was horrifying, even the mutant couldn’t help but be slightly scared by it. The birds even flew away above him. He breathed in and out for a while. Mind racing with many thoughts. He bit his lip as he snapped out of his shock to investigate. 

Very slowly as he walked towards the direction of the previous scream, the purple-haired mutant started to see the scene through the fog. His eyes couldn’t register what was in front of him once he saw the state of the open-space he walked into.

With the beautiful white snow was a bloodied corpse of a hollow monster like him. Multiple of them in fact. The mahogany blood splattered all over the snow and even on the trees. Decapitated heads, eyes pulled out and sliced off limbs everywhere. There was basically a pool of blood in the middle of the snow. The mutant couldn’t help but swallow his breath. Even this was too gorey for him. 

But the horror made him smile slightly. He couldn’t help but think the sight was beautiful.

He looked up with shocked eyes to see the familiar glow he was looking for. His eyes immediately darted towards the figure now with a foot on one of the corpses and a pneuma blade about to pierce through the dead flesh. The mutant watched as the human went on with it, slicing through and using his hands to pull out the soul into a jar on the ground filled with other glowy souls.

The mutant finally let out his breath loudly, which immediately made the human notice his presence from the way he perked up. The human turned around to look towards him and the mutant could finally see his face. 

The hollow monster was staring at the human for a short while. Tan skin, long black hair and tired eyes as bright and dangerous as the sun. Blood all over him, dripping down his face into his lips. How much hollow blood has the man tasted in his life, the mutant will never know. Everything complimented his glowing eyes and he stood out from the almost monochromatic scenery in front of him. The monster gulped down the remaining spit in his mouth. 

Even in such a disturbing state, the human was still as beautiful as a god. 

He hated that.

“You’re late, Nahm.” The human spoke. His voice was raspy from the cold, likely not used to it. His lips even trembled slightly when he opened his mouth. Did the cold really affect him that much?

“I’m not. You just ran off.” The purple-haired mutant rolled his eyes and frowned. He tried to stay as composed as possible but in reality, he was slightly scared of the human a few meters away from him right now. The longer-haired chuckled slightly, bloody teeth showing before finally getting off the dead corpse he was stepping on and picking up the jar of souls he collected. Nahm raised his eyebrow and squinted his eyes, “Why are you laughing, Sumatra?” 

Sumatra stopped his laughter and closed his eyes, breathing in and out. He looked slightly down which made Nahm calm down a little. But, he was still wary of the human’s behavior.

Sumatra’s smooth black hair with the white specs of snow flowed from the wind as he turned to Nahm with a cold glare. He looked like a creature from a horror movie, craving for more bloodshed.  “Were you really once a human?” He asked.

Nahm tilted his head, obviously confused. His hands twitched slightly from the cold making him put them in his pockets but the question lingered. What does he mean by that? Of course he was. He’s a hollow monster now but once upon a time, he was just a human being. It was the same for any other monster.

“What do you mean?” Nahm questioned back. The snow became harsher, almost like ice.

The blood from Sumatra’s face dripped onto the white snow as the human finally decided to come closer to him. The red fluid had caught itself underneath Sumatra’s shoes, as his footprints left marks. Nahm’s breath hitched as the human was now merely a few centimeters away from him. Their faces almost touched as Sumatra looked down on him– droplets of blood now dripping onto Nahm’s face. 

“Mutants don’t smile at the sight of one of their own being killed.” Sumatra reminded Nahm monotonously. “If you were once human, did you grin when you saw someone die? People don’t like death.” Nahm’s face immediately scrunched up lightly, he didn’t think the human would guess he did. He wasn’t sure why he did it either.

Nahm looked away, taking a hand out of his pocket to push the human away. “I smiled because I was once a human who hated hollows just like you now. Is it weird for me to be happy?” He defended himself. “I know you were happy about it back when you were younger. Killing hollows like your life depended on it.” 

Sumatra’s eyes went wide for a second before becoming visibly angry. Nahm believed he hit a nerve somewhere by accident. “Because my life did depend on it! I was a scared child. I believed in eradicating all of your kind because that meant no one like you would ever hurt me or anyone again.” Sumatra yelled. “What would you know about fear anyways. Your goal is to spread hurt and fear.”

It was Nahm’s turn to be angry. He bared his teeth, “You know nothing about me, Suma’. You’re the one that doesn’t understand emotions. You are the one spreading the hurt and fear in people– All the fucking hunter institutes are spreading it.” He yelled back, heat now spread on his hands. “Us monsters who have gained the intelligence to talk to people have feelings, goals and dreams just like you. Trust me, we do have little things we enjoy too.”

Hollows are not all bad. Most are but some like Nahm himself were born with the intelligence to live like people. Maybe most are causing destruction, but what about people like him? Do they deserve to get rid of their second chance in life when spreading pain was the only thing ever taught to them? Nahm continued. “In fact, you were taught from a young age to fear too. But what if you never knew? Do you think you would hate me as much?” His voice shook from the strong snow falling. “I think us hollows would be the same as you guys.”

Sumatra went silent for a while, seemingly pondering. It was something Nahm liked about the human. He’s brash and aggressive with his speech towards him, but he never ignored or became inconsiderate. Sumatra considered Nahm’s feelings in situations and the mutant really appreciated it. Yes, they’re forced to work with each other, live together and interact with each other but Sumatra still made him feel at home despite how much he ‘hated’ him. The leader of the IHH did instruct him to connect with Sumatra. Nahm never really wanted to but seeing how the human cared deep down made him think otherwise. 

He believes he can make Sumatra understand that he wants to be treated as an equal to society.

His thoughts were interrupted by Sumatra looking back at Nahm. There was a cold glare from the human that the mutant couldn’t help but shiver at. The burning eyes stared into him as if he was being analyzed. “You’d never understand human life or emotions. Because you were given an undeserved second chance for something that is cherished by the people you devoured and slain. That’s what makes us different. You’re a filthy, ungrateful monster who used his second chance to destroy. I’m a filthy, murderer of a human who is killing the destroyers during my one and only life.” 

Nahm’s eyes twitched, What does this guy know about his previous life! He had only suffered and once given a chance, he died! He’s so grateful for a second life. He never wanted to kill. “No… I only do what I do because It’s the gods who forced me to have the second chance and neither was I given a chance by people like you to relive a good life. Am I really the monster when all you ‘humans’ have done is accuse?” He grabbed onto Sumatra’s jacket, dragging the human towards him. “Is it really my fault when I have no choice?”

Sumatra grabbed onto Nahm’s wrist. The grip felt like Nahm’s hand was about to come off if his wrist was squeezed any further. “You’re a free creature. Do you really think a god controls your freedom? Who are you really scared of? If you don’t have anything to say to that, you’re just making excuses.” He scowled.

Nahm slacked. A free creature… Controlling his freedom… Who he’s scared of. His eyes must have looked confused as Sumatra groaned and continued his words.

“In the end, you have restrictions– you’d be correct with that. But, in the end, killing both humans and hollows was your choice. You’re a monster just like the rest. You’re not different.”

The mutant looked down, really thinking about it. His eyes wobbled from the cold. He let go of Sumatra’s jacket and really wondered. No.. he is forced to do this. Maybe it wasn’t a god making him do it but a certain someone is. Sumatra doesn’t know about her. But soon he will. Nahm knew this but kept silent. If he had his way, he would have used his alternate way of finding souls and maybe pursuing a friendship with Sumatra but this woman would never let him.

Nahm looked back up at Sumatra with tired eyes, “If I’m a monster, what does that make you?”

Sumatra smiled warmly at that question, “I’m worse than a monster. I’m the pinnacle of unresolved hate.” Nahm couldn’t help but frown at those words he heard. “Or whatever the opposite of loving is.” Sumatra laughed at that before explaining further. “Basically, I’m the thing no one wants to become. Not even a monster. Not even me.” 

“Sumatra?”

“What is it?”

“Do you have a wish or goal? Just for yourself, not anyone else.”

Sumatra went silent, looking up and down seemingly thinking hard about it. He made eye contact with Nahm after a long while. “I just want to make peace with myself…or then dip in the ocean again.” 

Nahm couldn’t help but laugh, “Those are very different from each other!”

Sumatra's nose scrunched and pouted slightly, “You weren’t very specific on what kind of wish it should be.” He shaked his head to get the snow off his head. “What about you..?”

“I want to be free.” Nahm replied, fully solemn. “You know, just having simple wishes already makes you less of a monster, I’d say?” Sumatra was silent but his lips turned up slightly.

“I see.” It seemed they now knew a little more about what was important to them. That was what Nahm wanted. He wanted to be understood but also for Sumatra to understand he isn’t fully bad either.

The mutant felt a hand on his hair wiping away the snow that had built up on top. He could feel how freezing the human’s hands were just by a swipe. Sumatra coughed, “Now…” He turned back towards the corpses, walking towards them making Nahm flinch but quickly follow behind. The hands of the human pointed towards the dismembered limbs. “Can you burn them for me? I don’t want such a disturbance ruining the experience of such a rare moment.” Nahm noticed the human look up to admire the snow that had calmed down during their conversation. 

He didn’t question the hunter and obliged. He summoned the powerful flames to his hands and slashed his hand towards the bodies to throw the scorching fire. Everything was burned into ashes in mere seconds as the blood started to evaporate into a black mist. Nahm came up next to Sumatra, standing by his side. There was a saddened look in the piercing orange eyes. Randomly, Nahm wiped the blood off the human’s face that was slowly evaporating due to the disappearance of the dead bodies. It made him flinch but turned to Nahm in a calm manner.

“I’ve told you not to touch me.” Sumatra didn’t seem mad, more amused than anything.

“Haha, sorry.” Nahm smirked, before looking up with Sumatra at the snow. He wasn’t sure why he did what he did, but he doesn’t seem to regret it. His smile turned soft thinking about it. In a way, Sumatra was right about him. He’s been killing which makes him no different from other hollows whether it was by choice or not. But, he knows it’s not what he wants. He wants to be free and maybe do it beside someone… He wants to live life like any normal person would.

Maybe the little things are something he should prioritize more moving forward.