Something Strange

Title: Something Strange
Fandom: Mass Effect
Characters: Dexter “Shepard” Aksamit, Miranda Lawson, Jeff "Joker" Moreau
Pairing: Dex/Miri
Ratings:
Warnings:
Author Notes: N/A

Dexter yawned as he stretched his arms in his chair. Nothing to do but to file reports as they made their way to the next place. He wasn’t tired, just mentally exhausted. They had finished a mission on a derelict Reaper and brought back a Geth from the ship. It had tried to help them but Dexter couldn’t really parse through whether or not to reactivate it. His mind was a little preoccupied with something else. It wasn’t his nightmares anymore, and he had been getting some more sleep thankfully.

He had been strangely plagued with thoughts about one of his companions. Something that hasn’t happened in… well, two years. He had feelings for Ashley but after consigning her to her fate on Virmire, just felt horrible about it. None of it really sank in until after Saren and Sovereign were stopped. He had time to catch his breath at the time and just, everything came crashing onto him at the time. He didn’t let it affect him. He was good with not letting stuff like that show while he was around people. Although, dealing with stuff like that was honestly just super foreign to him.

Lately, he’s been able to work through those hard to comprehend feelings and emotions. Miranda had been helping him a little more than Dr. Dawar had been able to. Maybe it was because Miranda knew everything about him so he had little explaining to do compared with Dr. Dawar. It’s not that he didn’t trust the young medic, it was just Miranda already offered to help anyway. Dr. Dawar was still informed about whatever he talked to Miranda about. Miranda having mentioned she shared them with Dr. Dawar so she knew what she needed to do to help out Dexter. Something that kinda gave him the warm fuzzies. Considering they were more friendly with one another, he appreciated that she was trying to look out for him.

Dexter sighed as he leaned forward. He rubbed his face, feeling exhausted from their missions earlier. He knew he should turn in but Miranda was on his mind again. He closed his eyes and she was there looking at him. He got up, leaving his desk to look at his fish tank. There she was again in the reflection. He groaned and sat down at the edge of his bed.

“Mom’s probably right about this but what the hell.” He grumbled to himself.

Before the Illusive Man sent the Normandy to the derelict Reaper, Dexter had met with his mother on the Citadel. It wasn’t for long, because she had to go do something for the Alliance. She did, however, help him sort through his feelings for Miranda. The realization that he had feelings for Miranda. The realization smacked him like a raging Krogan honestly. It made a lot of sense and put some other things into perspective. However, it was the current dilemma he was going through at the moment. He couldn’t really stop thinking about her but telling her was also a challenge in itself. What if she didn’t feel the same? It was likely since she had been kind of prickly towards him lately. He figured it was just her being miffed about Niket having died.

Sleeping would be a reprieve but she was there too. He was honestly just unsure what to do. On the one hand, he could go down to her quarters and tell her – taking whatever response from her as his cue to do something. On the other hand, if she didn’t feel the same, then that was that… He sighed as he tried to think about what to do. He needed to get out of his room, that's for sure. He was seeing her in every reflective surface and he dreaded whatever his mind might drift to if he let it wander.

He left his room and made his way to the elevator. Taking it to whatever floor EDI felt like taking him to. He stepped off to see he was on the deck for the crew’s quarters. He sighed and just marched on through anyway. He nearly bumped into someone as he turned the corner to walk towards the mess. He held onto them and felt a hot liquid splash onto him and did his best to hold back a yelp. He hissed through his teeth and dealt with it. He looked at the person before him and any discontent he had vanished. It was Miranda.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” She said as she looked at his shirt. “I think some of it got on your jacket too… Hold on, lemme go see if Dr. Chakwas has something that can help.”

He watched as she just ran off. His eyes didn’t really leave her until the door shut behind her. He snapped himself back to reality and sat down at the table nearby. When he sat down, his muscles relaxed and he felt a little stupefied that he had been so tense. He calmed himself down to try and think a little more clearly. He waved over at Gardner and the man made his way towards him.

“Need something, Commander?” He asked as he looked at Dexter. “Well aside from a new shirt?”

“Can you get me a cup of coffee?” Dexter asked him. “Ms. Lawson spilled it on me and I’m sure she’d appreciate a replacement for it.”

“Sure.” Gardner nodded. “It’ll be a second.”

Dexter pulled his shirt away from him a bit to relieve himself of the uncomfortable feeling. He was definitely gonna have to change his shirt but she might’ve been right about the jacket. Luckily his jacket was dark enough to hide the stain if it stayed there. Although, he had a feeling he didn’t need to worry. He looked over at the sound of a door opening and saw Miranda walking towards him. She sat down next to him and had something in her hand. He wasn’t familiar with it at all.

“She said this could help.” She said as she reached for his jacket and stopped. “If you don’t mind…?” He stared at her for a moment before realizing she was asking for his jacket. He nodded and stood up to take it off. He handed it to her and sat back down.

“Ms. Lawson if you just wanted to see my arms, you could’ve found a better way to ask.” He joked. She laughed and shook her head.

“I’ll have to keep that in mind.” She chuckled as she used whatever contraption she got from Chakwas. He looked at his shirt and just grimaced at it.

“You can bring that up to me whenever you’re done.” He said, standing back up. “I’m gonna go change.”

“Again, I’m sorry.” She said, looking apologetic.

“Don’t sweat it.” He said to her as he left. Back up the elevator and into his room again. He walked towards his wardrobe and changed his shirt. Dumping the coffee stained one into a hamper to deal with later.

“You know that was a tamed response.” He chuckled at himself. “If it was anyone else, I would’ve tore them down completely.” Seeing the 180° change was something. At least he didn’t have to hear about it from Tali, Garrus or Joker again. They loved comparing him to the “old Shepard”. Something that got incredibly old really fast.

He sat down on the sofa across from him and reclined on it. The cushions were comfortable against his back. Say what he could about how shitty Cerberus was as an organization, but luxury was something that they prioritized. He was concerned for how the Alliance would treat all this “extravagance” whenever he returned to Earth. They’d dismantle the ship and put it back together for sure, but hopefully they wouldn’t throw out the nice things. There was a hissing sound from the door and he looked over to see Miranda walking in with his jacket in her arms.

“Here, I think I got the coffee out.” She said as she walked up to him and laid the jacket over the back of one of the chairs.

“Thanks.” He said to her, sitting up a bit as she looked at him. That smile was definitely going to haunt his dreams tonight, that's for sure. He avoided her gaze and looked elsewhere.

“By the way, did you need something?” She asked him. He gave her a confused look. “You went down to the mess hall for something, right?”

“Oh, um… I was just wanting to walk around the ship.” He said, trying to come up with a bullshit reason. “I just had a lot on my mind today.”

“Right, with the Geth we recovered.” She nodded. “Have you decided what to do with it?”

“I think I’m gonna go for the option Tali’s not going to like.” He replied. “I want to know why it has my armor. I also want to know why it was on that Reaper.”

“You know what they say about curiosity.” She chuckled. “I better get going if you don’t need anything else. Again, sorry for the coffee and thanks for getting me another cup by the way.”

“Not a problem.” He said as she turned to leave.

For a split second he felt something tug at him. To get up and tell her about what had really been on his mind. He felt his hands clenching together as his nails dug into him. Telling her about what it would at least give him an answer to the madness he was feeling. Although, the idea of rejection wasn’t a comforting feeling. He looked at her as she reached the door and sighed. He had to know.

“Wait, there’s something I want… that I need to tell you.” He corrected himself. He stood up and walked towards her. She had stopped next to the door but it hadn’t opened yet.

“Is something wrong?” She asked him, looking concerned. He presumed she meant he had another nightmare or needed to talk about something related to it.

“I wasn’t honest with that question you asked.” He started to explain. “The Geth has kind of been the farthest thing from my mind.” He paused for a moment and was starting to feel sweaty and jittery. Why was this so hard to do? “I don’t know how to describe it.”

“Just take your time with it.” She said, relaxing her posture a bit to try and reassure him. Although it didn’t really work.

He took a couple minutes to try and think of an explanation but had a better idea. He instead used a hand to reach for her head. He had a loosened grip on the back of her head and could feel those butterflies knotting in his stomach. He leaned in to kiss her anyways. He hoped this would do more than whatever explanation he could attempt to give her. If she didn’t feel the same, then it would be obvious to him. If she did… well he wasn’t sure what to do with that. He felt her body tense at the action and got the sense she wasn’t interested. So he pulled away only to feel her grab onto his arms to push herself upwards to return the kiss. He wasn’t tense but shocked by the action. He felt dumbstruck but was glad to have finally been given an answer. They pulled apart a moment later and just stayed close to one another. Just looking at one another.

“I…” He started, stammering to find his words.

“Also at a loss for words.” She said with a smile as she let her heels touch the ground again. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you either. It actually started when you helped me with Oriana. You pulled me aside to shield me from some incoming fire from one of the mercs and that moment just imprinted itself in my head.”

He vaguely remembered the moment she was talking about. Although, it was just barely. He remembered shielding her from the mercs’ gunfire but that was it. If that stuck to her mind however… He felt a lot less silly and uncertain about his actions now. He smiled back at her and leaned his forehead against hers.

“It’s been all the talks we’ve had for me.” He admitted to her. “Just being able to connect with someone and spend time with them like that. You’ve helped me change for the better.”

“Careful – that could be misconstrued about you having feelings.” She said, smiling at him and trying to hold back a laugh. He laughed anyway.

“So what do we do about this?” He asked her. “We’re on a mission that could end with one or both of us dying.” She was quiet for a moment.

“Lemme think about it.” She said and then shook her head. “Fuck the galaxy for thinking we needed to deal with this too.”

“Yeah well, it’s pleasant like that.” He said. He wasn’t quite sure what to do right now.

“I should get going.” She said after a moment. She looked at him for a few seconds before stepping away from him.

“Right.” He nodded. “Um… reports and such. I’ll see you around later then.”

“And hopefully with an answer on what to do.” She smiled as she walked away. The door opened allowing her to pass through it and she disappeared into the elevator. The door closed again and he groaned. Tonight was going to be even more treacherous for trying to sleep. That moment was definitely going to keep him up even more than the “will she, won’t she” conundrum he’d been thinking about.

Dexter walked over to the chair his jacket was on and made his way to the elevator. He tapped a button mindlessly as he shrugged his jacket back on. He walked out to see the combat information center. The galaxy map welcomed him onto the deck as he stepped out and made his way towards Joker. He wasn’t sure why he found himself making his way towards Joker – of all people – but didn’t really want to backtrack to his room either.

“Commander?” Joker said as Dexter approached him. “Whatcha need?”

“Just walking around.” He replied as he crossed his arms.

“Oh, well I heard an interesting rumor about you and someone in the crew quarters.” Joker said, a smile already creasing his face. He couldn’t hide whatever he was about to share with Dexter and seemed to be… reveling in it too. Much like any of Joker’s antics, Dexter braced himself for the worst of it.

“And what did you hear?” He asked, already regretting asking the question.

“I heard that Miranda spilled coffee on you and you didn’t yell at her.” Joker said and looked like he’d been expecting an answer.

“Okay. That did happen.” Dexter shrugged. “I had to go change my shirt.”

“So that’s it?” Joker asked, looking miffed. “She just spilled coffee on you and you’re okay with that? You know you literally yell at people for staring at you. You yelled at Kaidan for it when we were chasing Saren and nearly got into a fist fight with Wrex for doing the same thing.”

“And?” Dexter asked. “I’ve been trying to be a bit of a better person lately and to not…” He sighed and shook his head. “You’re not gonna take whatever I have to say to value are you?”

“Hell no.” Joker chuckled. “I can’t believe you have a favorite.”

“Look, Miranda wa–”

“Oh, it’s Miranda now?” Joker interrupted. “She’s no longer Ms. Lawson?”

Dexter stared at him for a moment and could feel that rage Joker mentioned earlier starting to boil. He inhaled and let an exhale out. The whole bit gave Joker the impression that Dexter wasn’t really having his antics today. Dexter was just considering what to say or do. He couldn’t really beat up Joker nor could he torment him. He’s a hell of a pilot and about one of the few people that willingly put up with Dexter’s bullshit.

“You know you need me for this mission, right?” Joker said, looking a little too comfortable.

“I’m aware.” Dexter said, letting out another seething exhale. “I’m also aware doing anything to you would just me look like the jerk.”

“The perks of being disabled.” Joker laughed as he spun around. Dexter caught onto the chair before it could turn around.

“But I am good at breaking things.” Dexter mused aloud as the chair creaked against the weight he was pushing against it.

“Point made.” Joker said in a slightly panicked tone. “I’ll stop poking the bear. But I’m telling Artemis about this.”

“Oh joy, someone else to torment me about having a favorite.” Dexter groaned and he turned to leave but stopped himself. He looked back at Joker. “So who told you about what happened, Gardner?”

“Well you know her pretty well, Commander.” Joker said. “She’s not your favorite though.”

EDI, of course. Dexter knew he wasn’t going to hear the end of this and on a ship as big as the Normandy, everyone else would be giving him shit for it too. He sighed and just made his way back to his room. He was dreading whatever taunts and torments Garrus and Tali might cook up whenever they heard about it. Actually, he was also certain Jack would have something to say too. He hit his head on the wall inside the elevator as he went back to his room. This was going to be a hell of a few days.