Prompt - Dating Sim
When Blitzkrieg was offered a new type of business venture he was intrigued, it was described to him as a choose your own adventure game with multiple paths, one of which involved him as a main character. Initially it seemed absurd, a known mercenary in a game that would be bought and played by the citizens of the empire that shunned him. He had decided to turn it down, that is until a kitbull who’d become a fast friend and confident of his urged him to accept. Not only would the profit be considerable, it would be beneficial to his future if those of the empire could see him not only as some rogue browbird that thrived causing chaos for the imperial court but as an individual with the knowledge and experience to make himself into a well known and admired public figure. His friend even hinted at the idea that it could put him in a place where he could even publicly declare his claim to the throne, but Blitzkrieg quickly dismissed the idea. He’s grown accustomed to this life and had no interest in being a monarch. Irregardless he’d eventually agreed and so a contract was signed and a date was made where he’d be interviewed and photographed.
Having entirely forgotten about his commitment to the game, Blitzkrieg was entirely confused when a photographer and crew appeared on his ship. Without bothering with an introduction the photographer began chattering away, asking questions, and speaking entirely too fast. He finally snapped, demanding everyone just shut up for a moment, before speaking directly to the photographer who stood at least two heads shorter than him. “What exactly is your purpose on my ship?” After a thorough re-explanation of everything, and restating the substantial paycheck that would be given to Blitzkrieg once he’d finished his part of this, the surly browbird sat down at a hastily assembled “make up studio” ie. A folding chair and about a dozen light fixtures, in order to be prepared for his photos. His crew looked on in amusement as their captain was primped and polished. Finally he was allowed to look in a mirror, they’d brushed and put up his hair into a loose bun on the back of his head and gone so far as to add just a touch of makeup around his eyes. He began to wonder what on earth his friend had gotten him to agree to. The photos were mostly simple, expressions, although one or two resulted in muffled snickering from his crew who were still pretending to be busy in order to watch the events of the day. After that was complete Blitz was handed a thick packet of papers and a pen and told to fill out everything to the best of his ability but try to keep his answers PG-13. Again he wondered what kind of game they were making that needed a mercenary’s favorite food and photos of him “looking into the camera as if it was the love of your life looking back at you.” Most of the questions were simple responses but a few were truly perplexing to him. “What would you do if your sworn rival had asked for your loves hand in marriage” in particular caused him trouble, because his first two answers “that would never happen” and “kill him” were apparently unacceptable. The written portion was entirely too long and left Blitzkrieg irritable by the time it was finished. Once handed his substantial compensation check though his mood improved.
After that day the mercenary had almost entirely forgotten about the endeavor. That is until he’d arrived a popular space-port to refuel and was swarmed by a small crowd of onlookers, attempting to hand him posters of…himself? Snatching one of the posters Blitzkrieg unfolded it, looking at a photo of himself looking into the camera sidelong that read underneath “will YOU be able to seduce the king of the mercenaries and achieve the secret ending?” Anyone privy to that moment would go on to tell those they’d meet that they themselves saw the self proclaimed king of the mercenaries turn several shades of red.
He did still sign each of the posters handed to him that day though.