Chatgpt Shitpost Stories

Title: Family Guy: Puppy Love

INT. GRIFFIN HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY

(Lois, Peter, Stewie, Chris, and Meg are gathered around the couch, watching TV.)

PETER:Hey, Lois, have you seen my Lucky Charms?

LOIS:Peter, you ate them this morning. Remember?

PETER:Oh, right. That's why they're gone.

(Meg's phone buzzes. She looks at it.)

MEG:Oh, hey, guys, I just got a message from Brian. He's bringing over his new girlfriend tonight.

CHRIS:Another one? How many girlfriends has Brian had this year?

STEWIE:Oh, let's see, one, two... counts fingers ...twenty-three.

(Suddenly, there's a knock on the door. Meg opens it, revealing BRIAN, the anthropomorphic dog, with RUBYIE, a shy and clingy anthropomorphic Maltipoo.)

BRIAN:Hey, everyone, this is Rubyie.

(Rubyie hides behind Brian, peeking out shyly.)

RUBYIE:H-hi...

MEG:Oh, she's adorable! Come on in!

(Brian and Rubyie enter the living room.)

PETER:Well, well, well, Brian, you've really outdone yourself this time. She's a real cutie!

RUBYIE:blushes T-thank you...

STEWIE:(eyeing Rubyie suspiciously) She seems a bit... clingy.

CHRIS:Yeah, like, I thought I was clingy, but she's on a whole other level.

LOIS:Oh, come on, give her a chance. She's just shy.

(Brian and Rubyie sit down on the couch.)

BRIAN:So, what's everyone up to tonight?

PETER:I was thinking of making some popcorn and watching a movie.

RUBYIE:Oh, I love popcorn!

(Rubyie scoots closer to Brian, resting her head on his shoulder.)

MEG:You know, Rubyie, you're a lucky girl. Brian's a really great guy.

RUBYIE:whispering He's mine. All mine.

(Everyone exchanges uneasy glances.)

STEWIE:Did she just...?

CHRIS:Yeah, I think she did.

LOIS:Well, Brian, it looks like you've got yourself a devoted girlfriend.

BRIAN:Yeah, she's... something.

(Just then, the doorbell rings. Meg goes to answer it.)

MEG:Oh, hey, Quagmire, come on in!

(QUAGMIRE enters, holding a bouquet of flowers.)

QUAGMIRE:Hey there, Meg! I brought you some flowers. And who's this lovely lady?

RUBYIE:growling Back off, she's mine!

(Everyone stares in shock as Rubyie lunges at Quagmire, tackling him to the ground.)

QUAGMIRE:Help! Get her off me!

(Brian rushes over and pulls Rubyie off Quagmire.)

BRIAN:Sorry about that, Quagmire. She's just a little... possessive.

QUAGMIRE:Yeah, no kidding.

(Peter turns to the camera.)

PETER:Well, folks, looks like Brian's got his paws full with this one. Tune in next time for more wacky adventures with the Griffin family!

(FADE OUT.)