Chatgpt Shitpost Stories

Title: "Rubyie's Puppy Love"

INT. GRIFFIN HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY

(PETER, LOIS, MEG, CHRIS, and BRIAN are gathered around the TV. Rubyie, the anthropomorphic maltipoo, shyly enters the room, peeking out from behind the couch.)

PETERHey, who's the new dog?

RUBYIE(nervously)Um, hi, I'm Rubyie. I, um, I'm here because... I love someone.

LOISAw, that's sweet, Rubyie. Who's the lucky dog?

RUBYIE(shyly)It's... it's Stewie.

STEWIE(excitedly)Me? Well, I must say, I am quite flattered.

CHRIS(to Brian)Why is she hiding her left eye?

BRIAN(leaning closer)Shh, it's because she's a yandere, Chris. She's probably planning something crazy.

MEG(rolling her eyes)Ugh, not another one.

PETERWell, Rubyie, why don't you go ahead and tell us what you have in mind?

RUBYIEWell, I thought I could make Stewie a special dinner, and then we could watch a movie together, just the two of us.

STEWIE(chuckling nervously)Um, that sounds... delightful.

INT. KITCHEN - LATER

(Rubyie is cooking up a storm, preparing a fancy dinner for Stewie. She adds a pinch of sugar with an overly enthusiastic smile.)

RUBYIE(to herself)He's going to love this. We'll be together forever.

INT. GRIFFIN HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

(Stewie and Rubyie are sitting on the couch, watching a romantic movie. Rubyie snuggles closer to Stewie, her heart-shaped eye twinkling with admiration.)

RUBYIE(giggling)Oh, Stewie, this is so perfect. Just you and me, together forever.

STEWIE(awkwardly)Um, yes, quite.

(Suddenly, the dinner that Rubyie prepared starts to show its effects. Stewie begins to feel queasy.)

STEWIE(struggling)I-I don't feel so good.

RUBYIE(concerned)Oh no, my love! Let me take care of you.

(Rubyie starts fussing over Stewie, completely oblivious to the chaos she's caused.)

INT. GRIFFIN HOUSE - BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS

(Stewie is hunched over the toilet, while Rubyie pets his head lovingly.)

RUBYIE(whispering)Don't worry, Stewie. I'll always take care of you, no matter what.

(STEWIE looks horrified.)

STEWIE(stammering)Um, thanks, Rubyie. I think I'll be okay.

(The rest of the family peers into the bathroom, equally horrified by the scene.)

PETER(to Brian)Well, this is one way to spice up family movie night.

(BRIAN shakes his head in disbelief.)

BRIANYou said it, Peter. You said it.

(As Stewie continues to recover, Rubyie gazes at him adoringly, completely unfazed by the chaos she's caused.)

FADE OUT.