No Debt
pianobelt
p much, they show up at his room and knock on the door frame as some notice they're there
StarfishPlain
Syd looks over, smushing down the gently wallowing in pain he was doing. "Heyyy uh.." eye narrows "What's your name"
pianobelt
"Natsumi. Hello Syd."
they walk over and stand at the end of the bed
StarfishPlain
"Yeah yeah, I've seen you around sometimes. Heard the announcement that you got a pass for the killing stuff too."
pianobelt
"Yes. So you're aware what happened then?"
StarfishPlain
"Not really. No one wants to talk about it, and I don't remember anything after stepping in the cage."
"...why"
pianobelt
"Well to put it simply, I came here to clear any assumptions because I do not want some sort of connection hanging between us over this. You were killed. I did not try to save you. I simply wanted the event to end. So there's no debt or importance of my actions."
StarfishPlain
"Jeez, fuckin honest." grins "Don't worry, I know half the people here would rather I had stayed dead. I don't care about whatever your feelings about me are or however this is a way to justify it either."
"Note taken, don't get all eye for an eye savior for you whenever I hit the field next."
pianobelt
"I don't really feel one way or the other about you. You don't matter to me that way. " they shrug "I just don't want you attempting to pay me back somehow. I was not so selfless. And I do not need payment."
"It is good you are awake and not dead. I'll leave now."
StarfishPlain
"That quick of a visit? No dollar get well card or anything." He seems like he's struggling to keep the energy up. "Thanks for it anyways."
"...hey. tell me."
"You really only did it for your own benefit? Really aren't even gonna try to build a hero case for yourself?"
pianobelt
Natsumi blinks
"I don't see the point in being a hero., I don't need the ego boost, and I don't care for admiration."
"And would a card make you feel like anything I say or do is genuine? Does the sympathy not feel false?"
StarfishPlain
"So you're really telling me it wasn't for any kind of bloodlust revenge shit, or to get some kind of accomplished feeling. That sounds.." thinks for a moment. "-Pathetic, honestly. What are you doing anything for? Just to exist?"
"Unless you're lying to me. Or yourself. Who knows, I'm the sick one here."
pianobelt
"I did it because I wanted it over. The emotions from what was happening around me were so painful I couldn't breathe. So I ended the source."
"Sometimes just being able to exist is all that is needed. When you've only felt pain and darkness and empitness in your life.... existing is enough."
StarfishPlain
"That's some emo shit." pained ha before he goes flatter. "I think you are a liar. You can't exist still in a world that requires you to move. When you act kind or violent or whatever else that's not playing centrist anymore."
"But none of that matters to me. I won't stay up at night over it."
pianobelt
"I don't care what you think. As I said, you don't matter to me."
"Unlike you, I can see into you. See what surrounds you."
"Know you better at times than you probably know yourself."
"You can only guess if I'm lying to you."
"How scared are you?"
"Is the pain manageable?"
StarfishPlain
"God please enlighten me I need some amusement to hang onto in this bland ass room."
"I know I'm changing. I can see ahead atleast that much, but when you do it scares you."
"I won't act like some genius that can read minds though. I'm just a guy jumping on assumptions, someone who's dealt with one or two people like you through life."
pianobelt
They snort and grin "You don't know what scares me."
"But I did not come here to talk to you in any more capacity. So I'm leaving."
and they start to go
StarfishPlain
"I know enough, but even if I did why does that matter. You don't mean anything to me, good or bad." He doesn't try to stop them "nice chat"
pianobelt
They stop at the door, not looking at him. "....Does dying meaninglessly scare you?"
StarfishPlain
“I’ve learned dying at all does.” Grins “share a coin, does it scare you?”
pianobelt
"Yes. And knowing I won't be able to avoid it makes it worse."
and with that they leave