Yu's thoughts

I never expected my life to change after seeing what he's done. I've always assumed that friends are just friends who will go away someday, and that I shouldn't be frustrated about something so trivial, yet for some reason, I never realized how important Minato was to me along with Aimi. Was my life outside of school always that boring when we weren't together? I was so used to being around them all the time, buying refreshments from vending machines, chatting over the rooftop about life and homework, and playing games together just because Minato wanted to. I was never a fan of them, but I had no idea how much I would resonate with them after that day. Months, even years later, I still appreciate all of the experiences we made together. If only I knew beforehand that this feeling would be so painful, i would be able to find a way to get through the painful memories and finally move on. If only you hadn't had to leave so suddenly, if only we had enough time to talk it out and hear your reasonings, I would beg and beg myself in this cold isolated room that I don't consider home to just change things back to the way they were before; if only things hadn't changed, maybe life would've been better for not just me, but for Aimi as well. I know she's hurting from both this and our teacher.

She has changed quite a bit, but I'm not sure if it's for the better or worse. I understand how she feels at times, and I would do anything to hear her out, but how could I possibly help her if I was never able to help myself in the first place? If all I've ever done to comfort someone is tell them lies all the time, how am I supposed to help her in these moments?

All I want is for things to return to as they were.

I remember one night as it was pouring rain, I was mindlessly strolling through the park. I don't know why, but I didn't feel like myself at all at that moment. I couldn't control where I was going... I didn't have an umbrella or a jacket either. The cool rain made my body feel strangely numb. After hours of walking, I finally noticed someone sitting with an umbrella on a bench. At first, I didn't mind, but then it dawned on me. Why did their presence... feel so familiar? As I sat on the bench, I watched the heavy raindrops pattered against the ground, creating splashes in the puddles below. Some of the droplets poured onto my thighs as the sound of the rain was oddly soothing. Closing my eyes, I let myself get lost in the moment, pondering why I had even went outside in the first place. Was it to escape the suffocating confines of my thoughts or was it only to seek comfort in the rain? The air was heavy with an earthy scent of wet soil and flowers that it felt suffocating, yet that didn't bother me either. Rather than having to work everyday, go to hour long meetings, leaving leftovers at the fridge to go bad, go out to drinks, and then stay in my bed to rot for hours, I'd rather just let the thick air kill me entirely.

Despite the dampness seeping through my clothes, I couldn't help but relax to the sensation of the rain against my skin. It felt somewhat cleansing, as if washing away the burdens and worries that weighed heavy on my shoulders.

"You're so drenched dude, did you forget to bring your umbrella?"

...What? Have I really lost my mind? Why do they sound so familiar? I glanced at them quickly and saw it actually was him. "Wh- whaa-" I felt so choked up that I was at a loss for words, but why? I thought he was gone. Why?? Out of all places why is he—?! No.. I should be happy right now, but.. his presence felt more heavy than anything. Did I still want to die? I'm not sure anymore.

"I'll pay for your cab, just don't go out without checking the weather, especially at the middle of the night, what were you thinking?"

"Mi..Minato—" I stumbled and almost fell as I tried to reach up to him, but he swiftly scooped me up that I was able to get a better close up look at him. Even though he had an appealing look, there was something about him that seemed so different. After lending me his coat and umbrella and wrapping me up, he got up to go. I was so stunned about all of this, but I also didn't want him to leave. What if this was the last time I would ever see him again? I can't...let this once in a lifetime chance pass me by. I want to see him.

"Minato!! Don't g-go..you can't just—" my voice kept cracking that i felt it on my throat, was I about to cry? Not when he's going to see me, I can't. He then walked up to me, swept up my damp bangs, and gazed into my eyes. "Well.. I suppose I'll walk with you to your cab, how does that sound?~" He smiled with the widest grin imaginable, acting as though something between us had never happened. I couldn't help but suck it up and go with the flow as I stared down and clenched my fists till they began to bleed. This reunion felt so weird that I thought it was just some stupid dream that will wake me up soon.

We've gone a long walk together, but it seemed incredibly strange having to talk, but thankfully he was the one who struck up the conversation most of the time. I had worried that he would lose the one quality that made him likeable.

"Yuu~ Why did you cut your hair so short? I kind of preferred you with longer hair. But this surprisingly suits you too, haha!!"

"Having long hair just felt heavy. I had to get rid of it at some point." I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Don't look at me like that... I just asked a genuine question!"

"Well, I wasn't entirely upset about that."

"Oh— whats on your mind then?"

I came to a stop. "What's on my mind? Alright, I'll tell you what's on my mind. After abandoning Aimi and me for years without providing any reason, our sensei disappeared exactly like you did! And you ruptured my right ear's hearing before I could even ask you what was going on; at the time, I didn't think you killed that guy, therefore I didn't believe it, but now? Without a doubt you have, haven't you? I know you're ridiculous, but my life has been so exhausting that I can't help but want to see you every day. Why did you even leave?!" I held onto my throat as I paused to gather my breath.

Despite being screamed at, he manages to smile, cheeky fucker. "In any case, you'll learn the truth eventually. I simply can't say them at this time. Now that we're here," he rubbed my head, "The cab has arrived, I'll be leaving now. Goodbye ~" Minato chuckled and skipped off. I was so mad that I tried yelling and chasing after him, but he ran surprisingly quickly. I noticed the cab and clicked my tongue. Either way, I ignored it and checked the time on my phone. It is one in the morning. I sighed and picked up the phone to call Ninomae, not thinking she would answer.

"Yu? Huh— Why are you crying..?!"

"Ninomae— no.. Aimi-chan... can I? Come over..?" I spoke, my voice trembling and bursting with gasps for air.

"Of course.. where are you?"

"I'm at ▇▇▇ street, don't worry, I'll walk there myself..."

"Don't you dare move from there, I'll come over there myself, don't worry." She abruptly ended the call.