Lost Panic

Renevir couldn’t find his necklace.

The honey and brown dog tried checking under his cloak. Maybe he just tucked it in there? No, he couldn’t feel the string or the stones under it. Maybe he left it beside the cash register? No, he’d cleaned that space just a few minutes prior. Nothing was there. Had he left it in his nightstand drawer? Had it broken and fallen off on his way to the shop? Had his worst fear come to pass; had someone stolen it for their own gain? He didn’t know. All he knew was that he had to find the emote stones before anyone else did.

First, Renevir checked the floors for any sign of the necklace. If it had broken while he was working, he’d be able to find it somewhere, right? He bent down wherever he could to get a closer look, but there was still no sign of anything, not even in places where it could’ve easily gotten buried in a pile of soil, or caught in the leaf of a plant. He was just wasting his time, and making a fool of himself in the process.

This is not working, thought Renevir. I need to figure out another way to search. Maybe I should ask Flint if he knows where it could be.

“Are you looking for something?” asked a voice behind him. Renevir didn’t even need to turn around to know who it was.

That is convenient timing. Thank you, Flint.

“I do not have the emote stones with me,” said Renevir, still staring at the floor. “I do not think I left them at home, but I cannot find them anywhere here. I think the string may have broken off somewhere. Do you know where they could be?”

“That doesn’t sound good.” The pale orange cat responded, only after a long pause. “Don’t know where they are though, sorry. Are you sure you didn’t just leave them at home?”

“I do not remember if I did or not, but I do not think I would leave them in the drawer.”

“Okay, okay. Don’t panic. Have you checked the drawers by the cash register?” Flint paused to chew on a sensory necklace he had hidden.

“Why would it be there?”

“Don’t know. Maybe it got caught in one of them while you were closing it?”

“Okay, I will try that. I doubt I will find anything, though.”

Renevir walked back over to the cash register and started opening each drawer, one by one. First drawer, nothing there. The drawer below it also wielded no finds. Third drawer, nothing once again, fourth drawer…

Renevir couldn’t find anything. None of the drawers had any hints of the emote stones, just as he had expected. There were now no more places within the shop where the necklace could be. Nowhere to look, nothing to do. Renevir’s heart dropped as the realization sank in. The emote stones could be anywhere at that point, laying around on the pavement of the street, left on the floor of a crowded train, on the bench by the station, abandoned in some drawer at home. They could’ve even ended up in the hands of someone who would use them for nefarious purposes.

And all of these scenarios would be Renevir’s fault.

I am sorry, my ancestors, Renevir thought. I have failed the duty you have bestowed upon me. The emote stones have been lost.

“So, did you find it?” Flint’s voice followed his thoughts almost perfectly.

“No, there was nothing in the drawers, as I predicted,” he responded.

“Should’ve listened to you, then,” Renevir felt Flint squeezing his hand. “Is there anywhere else in here you haven’t checked yet?”

“No,” said Renevir. “I have checked everywhere they could be. Nothing can be done now.”

Silence fell upon the room. Renevir could feel his tail wagging around like crazy, trying to prevent his crushing sense of failure from hijacking his mind. It failed. This was his fault, wasn’t it? He was given one job to do, one set of emotional magic amplifiers to protect for his entire life, and he had failed to fulfill it. It was all his fault, so he deserved to feel ashamed of himself. A hand cupped Renevir’s cheek and freed him from the chains of his own mind.

“Hey, I’m sure we’ll be able to find your necklace somewhere, alright?” said Flint.

“But there is nowhere left to look here,” Renevir hung his head. “What am I to do?”

“You said earlier that you thought the string broke, you should try checking outside in case it’s laying on the street.”

“But what about my shift? We still have a couple of hours left before we close the shop.”

“Don’t worry, no one’s been coming in today, anyways. Besides, if things get too busy for me to handle on my own, I can just close up early.”

“But what if I end up wasting my time, and I find nothing at all? Will you still be okay with me leaving you?” Renevir found himself trapped in a tight hug after finishing his question.

“Yeah, I’ll still be fine with you going. I know the stones are important to you, after all. Don’t worry, though. As I said, I’m sure you’ll find them somewhere.”

Renevir could feel his muscles relax with the extra reassurance. Despite this, though, he felt a compulsion to stay in Flint’s comforting and warm embrace. To never leave, to never face his own mistakes. Still, he eventually forced himself to pull away, and he set off on his own to look for the emote stones on the street.

First, he just checked the area around the shop. No one was nearby, so he was able to peer down all the sewage drains without risking stares from others; the harsh, piercing gazes, always threatening to crush him. Still, he found no sign of anything. He then started to retrace his route to the train station; maybe he dropped it somewhere along the way? He kept looking and peering, more discreetly this time since more people were around, people he didn’t want judging him. As more and more of the path showed no signs of the stones, Renevir could feel his glances growing more brief, more frantic. His heart was bursting in his chest. His throat was starting to tighten, to take all the air out of him, too. He could feel eyes piercing through him, watching his every move. 

If the necklace and the stones are not up ahead, then… Renevir tried not to think too hard about the possibility.

He reached the train station, still with no emote stones in sight. He had failed. The only possibility left was that someone had taken the emote stones. If he was lucky, that person would be an elemental mage or a Tristitia type emotional mage, and they would be unable to figure out what they did. If they were a Tranquilla or Ira mage, however, they’d know. From that point, it would be impossible to determine what they'd do with an amplifier to their magic. Whether they’d use it for bad or good, or at all.

 Wait, wasn’t there one possibility he was forgetting?

Maybe Flint was right, Renevir thought. Maybe I just left it at home. It is not likely, but it would be easier to deal with than someone else getting their hands on it.

Renevir decided to wait at the station; he’d go home and look for the stones there. He texted Flint, letting him know what he was doing, and then sat down at the bench, preparing for a suspenseful wait. His head was spinning, juggling all the possibilities of what could’ve happened to the stones around and around. He started wagging his tail around again to calm down. It helped, but he could still feel his stomach crying out with nausea. 

The train arrived after just a few minutes, so Renevir handed a couple quarters to the conductor before he boarded it. Home was just a couple stops away. The train car swayed back and forth softly, causing him to rock with it, being carried towards his destination. His stop had finally arrived, so he got off and ran home, not wanting to waste anymore time milling around. As the key turned in the door, Renevir could only think about one thing.

This was the moment of truth.

Renevir stepped into the door, and instantly started to look over all the countertops. Nothing there, as he expected. It was unlikely that he’d leave the stones in the kitchen or the living room. Still, he needed to check everywhere he could. He’d have failed his job if he didn’t. He checked the dining table, still nothing. His head was starting to spin again, causing the rest of his body to grow shaky and unsteady, useless as always. Renevir walked down the hall and approached his bedroom, staring into the doorway. His legs froze.

This is it, he thought. If the necklace is not in here, I have failed my duty.

He stepped into the door and looked around in anticipation. It wasn’t on the dresser, not on the plant shelves…

The nightstand. Of course it was laying there.

Renevir rushed towards it, grabbing the necklace as quickly as he could, as if it would disappear if he didn’t. He tied it around his neck, and then grabbed onto both of the stones attached to the thin gray string, checking them both for any possible damage, any imperfections that could’ve been caused by his incompetence. The golden one, the Tranquilla amplifier, was undamaged, pure like it had always been. He tested it, and a small flicker of gold Tranquilla magic came out of his palm. However, his state of mind was a barrier to producing any more. Renevir checked the Ira amplifier, rich in its amethyst color, as it always was. It had a couple scratches on it, but that wasn’t new. When he tested it, a large wave of violet Ira magic pulsed out, which he had to preemptively halt to avoid destroying anything. He breathed a sigh of relief.

I should have checked if they were here first, thought Renevir. That would have saved a lot of time. How long has it been, again? An hour?

A sudden ringing of his phone pulled him out of his thoughts. Renevir fumbled it to check the number. Flint, of course. He scrambled to answer it, as it would be rude to just ignore it and text him later.

“Hello,” said Renevir.

“So, did you find your necklace?” asked Flint.

“Yes, it was laying on top of the nightstand. You were right.”

“I knew you’d find it. I told you not to worry, right?”

“Yes, you did. Do you want me to come back to the shop now?”

“Nah. That’d just be a bother, making you take the train back when you just got home. I’ll just close it up after my lunch break.”

“Thank you.”

The other end of the phone hung up. Renevir plopped onto the bed, laying down on his back. Flint had been right. He shouldn’t have panicked so soon. If he hadn’t, maybe he would’ve been able to find the stones sooner. If he hadn’t, maybe he wouldn’t have sent himself into a spiral of shame and guilt, one that he clearly still needed to pull himself out of. If only he hadn’t been so stupid.

I cannot change my past actions, thought Renevir. I can only hold onto what I have learned for the future. There is no point in blaming myself for all of this, in the end.