On Aria Krill

Your name is Aria Krill, and your aunt’s a god, and your brother’s a paladin, and you are very, very sapphic. Gods and paladins are cool and all, but of the three you think you do prefer the lesbianism. Neither your brother nor your aunt has a girlfriend, after all. (Neither do you, but that’s mostly just because you haven’t found her yet.)

Your aunt’s a god, except she’s not really your aunt, but you don’t know what else to call her. Tui, you guess. Technically she’s, like, your dad’s ex-girlfriend, you think? How your nerdy shut-in of a father ever dated someone like her, you have no idea. Apparently she got banished from the divine plane for refusing to die, or something like that that. It’s super metal. Now she wanders around the unsettled wastes beating up demons with a giant sword. When you were a kid, sometimes she would show it to you — it glowed a vibrant reddish orange and swam with afterimages of fish. She told you it was forged from her divine soul, and you believe her. She never let you touch it, though.

Your brother’s a paladin, except instead of divine armor and a claymore he has a shitty knife and a canoe that only barely stays afloat. You’d say he was religious, except his only god is Tui, and Tui’s, well, his aunt. It’s sort of weird to be devout for a god that half-raised you, but the one time you pointed that out to him, he didn’t talk to you for a week. His shitty knife glows, which is kind of alright you guess, but it’s nowhere near as cool as Tui’s. He insists on calling it his Holy Sword and swears that it’s for protecting Her Mission, but all you’ve seen him do with it is cut rope and clean fish. You do sort of wonder how he’d actually hold up in a fight.

You aren’t a fallen god or a useless paladin or anything, but you are very gay and you do play bass guitar, and that’s gotta count for something. Maybe you won’t be fighting demons, but you can write an album that pokes fun at your brother, and at the end of the day that’s worth at least as much to you.

You really wish Tui’d let you hold her sword, though.