The Beginning

The last thing Cinna remembered, she was sitting at home, cuddled up on the couch in the blanket that smelled like Cy, waiting for him to come home. The next.. It was green, very green. Houses? People? A lot of people. Cinna didn’t know these people. That scared her, breath quickening. She hadn’t taken her medication, where was her medication? Where was Cy- she saw a familiar face, but couldn’t focus on it long enough to register. Blurry vision, tears swelling in that one eye, that one fucking eye- and then a hand grabbed around her wrist, hard. 

Her hair was falling in her face, so at first she couldn’t see. But then she did. From the bare feet, the same tacky ankle bracelet, the swirling vine tattoos up to the piercing blue eyes and blonde hair. The same ones Cinna had. But Cinna had one eye. Hazel had two. That was always the thing, wasn’t it? Cinna wasn’t good enough, Cinna was a monster. She thought she escaped this fucking hell- Why was God playing such a cruel trick on her?

All she could think of as she was dragged back to the cabin where they would both stay is the knots in her stomach, how much she wanted to end it. Every single old suicide plan was booming in her mind, the cuts on various parts of her body almost felt like they were itching, like they were burning, but that was just in her head.. Right? 

Cinna knew what was coming as the door shut and she was yanked onto the floor, stepped on. The air rushed out of her lungs and she gasped in pain, tears falling from her face. Hazel stood over her, a merciless and unremorseful look upon her face. But of course.. Cinna knew she didn’t care. She never did.

“You think you can just show up in front of me again?” Hazel spat, kicking her again, causing her to roll on her side. The only response from Cinna was a groan of pain and a light sob. “Don’t roll away from me, you piece of shit,” She seethed, kicking Cinna again so she was laying on her stomach. “Fucking whore, running away to live with some pop idol. He’s as disgusting as you are.”

Cinna felt herself get hit again, and again, knowing that Hazel was now leaning by her with whatever in her hands. She wished the pain would get worse, so maybe she could black out, maybe she could go to sleep. Maybe she could get a concussion, forget, become a person that even Hazel could love, or at least tolerate. But that didn’t happen.

A vase smashed over her head, shattering into little bits and pieces everywhere. Then, Hazel’s voice, “Don’t, even for a second, think that you’re worth anyone’s time.” And the door shut. 

After thirty minutes of listening outside, making sure noone was there and Hazel wouldn’t be coming back anytime soon, she struggled to her knees, then to her feet. Cinna wobbled, her vision blurred and the world spun, looking out a window she was glad to see that the sun was nearly gone already. So up the stairs she went, mindlessly really- but she could see the magic leading up the bookcase. Someone else’s lingering, faint magic from long ago. So Cinna followed it, pressing on the ceiling and finding- a hatch, to the roof.

Out it she went, closing it carefully beneath her and crawling to the middle of the roof. Cinna lay on her side, tears seeping out of her eye as the aches began to dull and the sun began to leave, barely a faint whisper now, until she fell asleep.