no strings! not even mine!

Spierce

(That laugh is certainly unnerving. I'm getting chills.)

Souta throws back sier head to send laughter echoing around sier.

Spierce

(...Goosebumps, even.)

...

Spierce

You've hidden who you truly are from just about everyone you know, t-the only explanation is...

Spierce

...Souta, what have you been doing behind the scenes, when no one's looking?

Souta

Hey, don't make yourself look foolish.

Souta shrugs and grins.

Souta

You and Manosuke come by here often enough to know! I'm working every hour at this dump!

Souta

And then I come home, and sleep. You know that too. Where's my time frame to do anything else?

Spierce

(...That's not true. There's other times when sie could be doing something else...)

Spierce

...You wake up in the middle of the night.

Spierce holds her arm lightly.

Spierce

...I-I've seen you. I have a tendency to get up when I have nightmares, and I wander.

Spierce

...I've seen you wandering around, checking things, pacing in general...

Spierce

I-I mean, it's, it may not be relevant, but there could be times where you're not there at all...

Spierce

I just haven't seen them.

Spierce

So... your claim that you're asleep at night isn't reliable.

Spierce

...And then there's the times when Manosuke's working, and I'm at work, too...

Spierce

...I'm not always there, and neither is nir.

Souta

Okay. I'll concede. I have time on my hands.

Souta

But hey! Without proof of me doing anything, what's there to take from it?

Souta

I don't see you around. I wonder what dirty dealings you might go through...

Souta

No... but you wouldn't do that.

Souta leans back on sier animal stand.

Souta

No. You wouldn't hurt anyone. Even when I told you you deserve to.

Spierce frowns, looking down at the ground while still holding her arm.

Spierce

...Y-your checkmate.

Spierce looks back up at Souta.

Spierce

You said that your checkmate is when all the people that have hurt you get what they deserve.

Spierce

You said that you'll fight, and you'll win.

Spierce

...T-that's not evidence, but... I-it clicks.

Souta

Or, it's friendly advice. From friends.

Spierce

...You've hidden yourself, you've tried to seem vulnerable at every turn while people are around...

Spierce

...You walk during the night, checking every door, window, every exit and entrance...

Spierce

...And then there's what you've told me. The "friendly advice"...

Spierce

...I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to expose any evil deeds, anything that'd get you in trouble, I...

Spierce

...I just want to know why you've been hiding for so long.

Souta

A-and, just what would make you want to know that?

Spierce

Because I care about you!

Souta tightens and releases a fist...

Spierce

...I've always cared about you.

Souta

That's what Manosuke says. Maybe you should try harder.

Souta narrows sier eyes.

Souta

No offense, hey, I care about you too!

Souta shrugs and grins.

Souta

But, everyone has ulterior motives! I just wonder what yours are. You know?

Spierce

...Maybe I do have ulterior motives. Things that I don't tell people, things I keep hidden deep down inside.

Spierce

...But I don't want to hurt anyone. That's the complete opposite of what I'm aiming for.

Spierce takes a deep breath. Difficult topics approaching.

Spierce

...I-I want to make sure no one ever feels the way I used to ever again.

Spierce

I want to make sure no one feels alone, or scared, or paranoid, o-or...

Spierce

...I want to be a "light."

Spierce

Which is why I want to know why you've been hiding!

Spierce

...S-so I can help you to stop feeling whatever negative feelings you've been hiding deep down inside.

Souta

....... that feel good? Let it all out?

Spierce

...

Spierce gives a small nod.

Spierce

(I-I don't know if sie's mocking me or not.)

Spierce

(...I didn't think I'd ever feel this sort of paranoia with Souta...)

Souta

Honest, I'd be laughing my ass off right now if it was anyone but you who said this.

Souta

So you wanna be a light, huh? Interesting.

Souta scowls.

Spierce flinches a bit at the sudden scowl.

Souta

All this time, I considered myself one. Now it sounds like you're mocking me.

Spierce

I-I'm not mocking you! ...I just...

Spierce

...A friend of mine said that I was a "light" once. It was a sort of realization to me, I guess...

...

Souta

................

Souta stands up a little straighter.

Souta

I told you before. You're going to waste your energy like that. They'll eat you alive while you give them a hand.

Spierce

...I know.

Spierce looks away.

Spierce

...I know that it happens sometimes.

Spierce

It's happened before...

Spierce looks back at Souta.

Spierce

But it only made me come back stronger!

Spierce

Because I know what to look out for!

...

Spierce

I... I know you may be filled with anger, Souta, but I can't say I share those emotions!

Spierce

It just won't hold with me, so I have to take my sadness and use it to make others happier than I could ever be myself!

Souta

H.... how is that...

Souta

How is that even possible...

Souta looks to her anxiously.

Souta

Why is it that you can do that, and not... n-nghrh...

Souta grabs at sier bangs and pulls hard.

Spierce

...!

Souta

I can't just not be angry...! Not after all of this...!!

Souta

I can't help other people when my blood is boiling every day.... No.....

Souta

No!! I'm, I can't I can't I can't I can't!!

Spierce

...Souta, I know you're not like me.

Spierce

And I know that, yeah, not a lot of people are like me. They burn out when they've been beaten down and pushed around.

Spierce

...But I've never been able to completely burn out. I can't hurt people; I end up hurting myself in the process.

Spierce

...I... I just want to help. I want to make the world a better place.

Souta

I-it's not going to get better! They're out there every time--

Souta

What can you do to make it stop hurting? N-nothing! It can't be done!

Spierce

...The least I can do is provide one smile.

Spierce

One, tiny smile. That's all I strive for.

Spierce

And hey, if I get more than that, cool. I did something good.

Spierce

...But I don't go for the big things. I start small, and slowly build up, hoping that maybe things'll change one day.

Spierce

...It's a big wish, yeah, but it's all I'll ever ask for.

Souta

A lot of help a wish is gonna do. A little more pretending, a-am I right?

Souta tries to grin, in between anxious panting.

Spierce

...It's not just a wish if I work towards it.

Spierce

When I actively work towards it... It becomes a goal.

Spierce

A longterm goal, yeah, but still a goal nonetheless.

Spierce

I've... I've helped a lot of people through bad times.

Spierce

I've saved a few people! Because I wanted to be there for them, and I was able to protect them.

Spierce

...It's... It's not for nothing.

Souta

..............

Souta lets sier hands slowly travel to cover sier eyes.

Spierce

...?

Souta

Why.

Souta

All you did... was p-protect "that" Souta.

Souta

So s-stop... trying to protect this one.

Spierce

...I didn't know "this" Souta existed.

Spierce

And now that I do, I want to help "this" Souta, just as I did "that" Souta.

Souta

"This" Souta doesn't need help!!

Souta

I'm not weak! I-I can do this! Don't look down on me like I need help!

Souta

I'm not like I made you think I was. I'm perfectly FINE. I don't need others to save me!!

Souta

I'm not weak, I'm not weak, I'm n-not weak—

Spierce

...Souta... I just want to be a friend to you.

Spierce

You're... You're alone. You've isolated yourself.

Spierce

I want to be someone who can help you feel less alone.

Souta grits sier teeth, making incoherent grunts.

Spierce

...You said so yourself that Manosuke's "the clueless one"... As if ne's not really important to you.

Spierce

And you check the windows and doors every night, as if you're paranoid that something's out there...

Spierce

You've even said that there always is.

Spierce

...I just want to be one person that you can trust.

Spierce

Out of all of the masses that have hurt you, that have shown that they're evil and vile...

Spierce

...I want to be the one outlier to all of that. I want to be a friend.

Souta

NO!!

Souta covers sier whole face.

Spierce

--!!

Souta

No, no no, that can't happen, th-that doesn't happen..!

Souta

It's a t-trick, it's—

Souta's body starts to shake with hiccups.

Spierce

...Souta...

Spierce

(I want to help, but... I-I can tell that sie'll push me away if I try to get close.)

Spierce

...I'm not trying to trick you. I would never want to hurt you.

Spierce

You... You've tried to help me in the past. You've given me advice that I've used, things that have helped me.

Spierce

...I would never betray you after all of this time. I don't want you to hurt like that.

Souta sits down immediately, arms over sier head.

Souta

I can't, I c-can't.. I can't...

Souta

I don't get it, i-it doesn't make any sense...

Spierce

...

Spierce walks a bit closer, albeit still at a distance, and sits down as well.

Spierce

...I'm too weak to hate. I guess that's... all there is to it.

Spierce

I've tried before. I've tried to hate, but all of it just melts into "Why would you do this?".

Spierce

And then I cry, and I wish that things were better.

Spierce

...But it's impossible for me to hold onto anger for a long time.

Spierce

Maybe I could try angry tears, but...

Spierce

...I've never been able to effectively hate someone. I just become afraid of them, and wish that the things that had happened

Spierce

...hadn't have happened.

Spierce

...That's why I love with all of my might. It takes hate's place, I guess.

Spierce

I'm... pretty vulnerable.

Spierce

But I've accepted that.

Souta

I c--

Souta hiccups.

Souta

I can't, let go, why--

Souta

S-Spierce.. d-dammit..

Souta holds sier aching head...

Spierce frowns.

Spierce

(This is... effecting sier really heavily...)

Spierce

...I guess that's really all there is to why I keep trying so hard.

Spierce

Because I'm too weak to try and do things differently.

Spierce

...I-I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I-I just wanted to...

Spierce looks at the ground.

Spierce

...I just wanted to help.

Spierce

I've said that a lot, haven't I...?

Souta nods sier head over and over, only looking down.

Spierce

...Y'know, at first, my goal was to be so nice and helpful that no one would have a reason to hurt me.

Spierce

I mean, why would you hurt an ally, right...?

Spierce

...But...

Spierce

...I found out firsthand that sometimes, your use runs out, and then people think you're worthless.

Spierce

...A lot of people abandoned me because my "worth" ran out.

Spierce

I've kind of... given up on protecting myself beforehand. It never seems to work.

Spierce

If people start to hurt me, then I do anything I can to break off ties. Until then, though...

Spierce laughs sadly.

Spierce

I could be a puppet on a string for all I know.

Souta bursts out in empty laughter.

Souta

YOU?! A puppet?!

Spierce blinks and looks up at Souta.

Souta

Ah hah hah! Ah hah h-hah!

Souta

No way, no way, no way, no way—

Souta falls back laughing, way too hard.

Spierce

(...The laughter seems strangely different. A-albeit, still unnerving, but...)

Souta keeps sier hands over sier face until the last few laughs escape sier system.

...and they come off... stained wet with makeup.

Souta

I-I said don't mock me, l-look at that—

Souta lays flat out on sier back.

Souta

I'm a damned puppet. You made it obvious.

Souta

"I can't I can't I can't" ... I can't feel anything I want to. I can't can't can't understand.

Souta

And you're free from it all! No strings! Not even mine!

Spierce

...I've been used before. I'm probably being used now.

Spierce looks off to the side.

Spierce

...You think not being able to be angry's fun? There are people I want to hate with my heart and soul, but I just... can't.

Spierce

People who have hurt me, people who laugh in my face. "You thought I actually cared? That I was going to be there for you?"

Spierce

...And all I feel is "Why did I have to find out?"

Spierce

"Why couldn't things have stayed the same?"

Spierce

...It's an inner battle, I guess.

Souta dons a weak smile...

Souta

You had yourself a hell of a lot of that today. You're wiped.

Souta

You really don't play enough chess, Spierce.

Souta hoists sierself back up in a sitting position, looking her dead in the eye.

Souta

"Play chess backwards and forward. Remember every move."

Souta pokes her forehead.

Spierce

!

Souta

Do you get me, or do I have to explain this?

Spierce

...I-I've never really understood chess, to be honest.

Spierce nervously glances off to the side. This isn't something she likes admitting.

Souta grins slyly.

Souta

C'mon, you and Manosuke can't be this far behind me!

Souta

I'm teaching you this, once.

Souta

"Why couldn't things have stayed the same?"

Souta

Because you're Light.

Souta

"Why did I have to find out?"

Souta

Because you're Light.

Souta

"Why do I want to make people smile?"

Souta

Light. Light, lighty light light!

Spierce blinks a bit in realization.

Souta

Remember your own moves! Your own advice!

Souta

Backtrack, learn the game the way you play it.

Spierce

(...Light exposes things... Whether it wants to or not.)

Souta

Then make a next move.

Souta

I mean hey, don't throw me into a panic with your words and not take 'em yourself! I'm far from a fool!

Souta shrugs and smiles wider, a little wilder.

Spierce thinks for a moment before nodding.

Spierce

I understand.

Souta pokes her forehead again.

Spierce

!

Souta

Now don't make me laugh that hard again. No one gets to see me cry.

Souta

Even when I mask it.

Spierce

A-alright.

Spierce

(...Things are a lot more casual than before, but...)

Spierce

(...There's still something hidden, and I'm not sure if I want to uncover it or not...)

Spierce

(...I can... save it for a later time. We're both tired.)

Souta

... ... ...Hey.

Souta

Manosuke stays in the dark on this. Don't go shining all over nem.

Spierce... nods.

Spierce

I won't tell nem anything.

Spierce

(It's a lot easier to keep secrets from nem than it is to keep them from Souta.)

Spierce

...If you don't mind me asking...

Spierce

...How do you manage to keep a facade for so long?

Souta

What's that? You want to take up on this burden yourself?

Spierce

N-no, I'm just curious.

Spierce

I mean... it must take a lot out of you emotionally.

Souta

... ... ... Yeah. That's okay.

Souta, for a split second, looks away, but meets her eyes once again.

Souta

As long as it saves my life, any expense is worth it.

Souta

Guess I wouldn't even be here to laugh in your face like this if not for it, ah?

Souta casts her another shrug and a grin.

Souta

You survive with friends, I survive like this.

Spierce... nods in understanding.

Spierce

...So that's why you need to vent sometimes, right?

Spierce

I-I mean... The thing I mentioned before, about noticing you up at night... T-that's something I've noticed, too.

Spierce

You vent a lot.

Souta

Spierce.

Souta squints.

Souta

You're needling me.

Spierce

S-sorry. I didn't mean to.

Spierce looks away nervously.

Spierce

...W-we could talk about something else, if you want.

Souta

Kfph--

Spierce

...?

Souta

Bwah hah hah hah hah! Bwah hah hah!

Souta

Hah, look at that, I can still do it around you!

Souta smirks wildly.

Spierce

(...There's that laugh from before.)

Souta

C'mon, I've accepted my fate! You illuminate it all around me!

Souta

You want the truth. It means something to you.

Spierce hesitates before nodding.

Souta

Now who would I be to expose myself all at once, huh? That's just about against all that's kept me alive.

Souta

But you're not going to die before you know it all about me. I've looked through every option.

Souta stands back on sier feet, kicking a leg out and offering a hand, a tea-kettle like pose.
An attempt to get her to stand as well.

Spierce

(...I'm not sure I want to know what sie means by "looked through every option.")

Spierce takes Souta's hand and uses it to help hoist herself up.

Souta

Look for it all at once, and you'll blind someone.

Souta

Gradual efforts to reveal, and it comes out naturally.

Souta

Your average chess game doesn't last just four moves, after all. Pace yourself.

Souta throws her a smile.

Spierce

(...Everyone around here likes chess metaphors. Too bad I'm terrible at chess.)

Spierce nods in understanding.

Souta

... ... ... Manosuke comes home today. I don't like it when ne's there before me.

Souta covers sier face up, aaaand pops sier hands off. Sie's back to the timid look, for a good while.

Spierce glances at Souta's hands and face before pulling a handkerchief out of her pocket, offering it to sier.

Souta

Eh--

Souta

... ... ... ... ... ... Right.

Souta gently takes it... maybe more like... without any energy.

Spierce

(...I never realized there was so much about Souta I didn't know.)

Spierce

(This... "Light"... Maybe it relates to what Felic told me about. My "Truth"...)

Spierce

(...Is... there something to reveal about Felic, too...?)

Souta

Are you not coming with me?

Spierce

!

Souta tilts sier head, genuinely curious.

Spierce

Oh, right! I was thinking about something.

Souta

that is the word i was looking for

Spierce

I'm coming.

Souta

and then they didnt go home because manosuke had to be picked up at the hospital

Spierce

mANOSUKE

Souta

whaaaaaaaaat ne'll be fine what's a little skull fracture

Spierce

A SKULL FRACTURE ISN'T SOMETHING LITTLE [LOUD WORRIED SPIERCE NOISES]

Souta

haha let's just go see nem ne's probably fighting to keep nir gun under nir pillow

Spierce

if ne actually ever manages that, which ne never will, i'm 99% sure ne'd shoot a nurse or something by accident.

Souta

spierce.

Souta

im smart.

Souta

believe in that possibility.

Spierce

...we should probably pick up the pace

Souta

i am going to pass out oh my god the sun is up mers

Spierce

i still have to do the dishes x.x

Souta

doooooooooooo

Souta

i elieev in youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Spierce

g'niiiight