One More Heartbeat
It was a warm night, the kind that made every cat in camp lethargic after a long day of training and hunting. CreekPaw was the last to go into the apprentice's den. He was always the first out and the last one in. The sun was already setting by the time SleetFang and him arrived back to camp. Carefully he made his way inside the apprentice's den. It wasn't too difficult, his nest was the closest one to the entrance, slightly aways from the rest. CreekPaw didn't mind though. He joined the clan because he didn't want to be alone, but being with so many cats so suddenly was daunting. It was even more so when he realized he wasn't completely accepted by all in the clan. He sighed as he laid down. He hadn't noticed it before but tonight his nest was lined with moss, leaves, and even some feathers. He wrapped his tail around himself as he let out a low purr. Though not everyone had accepted him, he was happy to know some had. It didn't take long before his acceptance to the clan by OakStar, to give him his clan name and to find him a mentor. From what he had picked up by the way others talked about and interacted with SleetFang, he was considered a strong and loyal cat, respected by everyone in the clan. It seemed natural to pair such a trustworthy warrior with the foreign kitten, who knew nothing about clan life. SleetFang quickly took his new responsibilities as a mentor seriously and kept CreekPaw constantly at his side. It could have easily been anyone, but CreekPaw quickly became attached to his mentor, making everyone else noise in the background. It didn't bother him much whether others liked him, but as CreekPaw settled in his recently maintained nest, he felt that actually being liked was nice too.
Still, as he allowed his body to relax, he felt exactly how much his muscles ached from his rigorous training with SleetFang. Unlike the other cats, he was not clan born and SleetFang did not take it easy on CreekPaw. SleetFang was already the type to be a strict mentor but because CreekPaw had been born outside of clan life, it meant he had twice as much to learn, and SleetFang was very serious about making sure he learnt it. From dawn till dusk they would train, hunt, or patrol. CreekPaw was worried he might fall asleep if he closed his eyes but he was too tired, besides, he had to pretend to be asleep, even if it seemed like everyone else was sleeping. He closed his eyes, quietly waiting. His heart and breathing settled as he rested. He could hear the crickets outside, and the soft breathing of the other apprentices sleeping, lulling him. The night's heat made him sluggish and just as his mind began to wonder with sleepiness, he heard the quiet rustling of someone getting up. He remained quiet as he heard someone slipping outside of the den. He waited with his eyes closed, considering remaining in his nest, giving into his tired body and falling asleep. The night was too hot, his body too sore, and his nest too inviting. He was exhausted, and yet, he couldn't ignore the fluttering in his heart. He waited just a couple of heartbeats longer before forcing himself to get up. His paws, still sore from training all day, pounded with each step he took. Carefully, nonetheless, he made his way outside camp and into the forest.
He felt guilty walking outside of the camp. SleetFang was a strict mentor but CreekPaw still admired him very much. One of his first lessons was to learn about the territory and the thing CreekPaw was told to always obey, was to never leave camp without SleetFang's knowledge or without a warrior if he were not around. CreekPaw didn't feel good about disobeying SleetFang, and he was practically sleepwalking but he couldn't stop himself from smiling. He was still learning about Ash Clan's territory, and couldn't quite remember everything yet, but he made sure to remember this route. It was special. The soft grass on his sore paw pads felt cool despite the warm air, and the pleasant sound of singing cicadas, was relaxing. CreekPaw had to admit that the sneaking around was a bit exciting, he was still young after all, and he still had a bit of a mischievous side. With most of his time training and avoiding judgemental clanmates, it wasn't very often he could act like a playful apprentice. He reached the twisting red maple, a tree in Ash Clan that was commonly used by young apprentices for climbing practice and for playing around in the vine like branches. CreekPaw didn't like climbing, but that's not why he was here. She loved this spot, and this tree.
"You finally made it. Sometimes I wonder if you've gotten lost."
CreekPaw turned to see NightPaw walk from behind the tree's trunk. She let out an amused purr as she gently nudged CreekPaw, "You're just faster than me, and besides, I can't walk right after you, or others might notice." Smiled CreekPaw. He was actually too tired and hurt from training to walk any faster.
NightPaw smiled though she seemed concerned, "Are you okay CreekPaw? You seem really tired. I know we both agreed to meet but if you're too tired, we could go back."
"No, no it's fine. I… well, I don't really have any friends around here besides you, so I don't mind. I don't really have much time to spend knowing everyone else anyways."
"It's a shame you got SleetFang as a mentor…" she meowed as she slowly walked next to CreekPaw, sitting down as she neatly wrapped her soft tail around her paws.
"He's not a bad mentor though." replied CreekPaw quickly.
"Well, I know that. When all of us apprentices were assigned our own mentors, we were relived we hadn't gotten SleetFang as a mentor. It's not that he's bad at it or mean, but he's very strict, though you probably already know that."
"Yes I suppose" CreekPaw chuckled softly, "It's not like I know what a mentor is supposed to be, or how much training is normal though."
NightPaw remained quiet for a few heartbeats before asking, "Do you like it here? Being part of Ash Clan?"
"I… I'm not sure." CreekPaw couldn't help himself. He knew he didn't want to be alone anymore, but he hadn't bargained on being with so many cats. Cats that didn't want him around, and looked at him like he had stolen from them everyday. He glanced at NightPaw, and immediately regretted his words. She looked sad, "Um, I don't hate it though." He tried reassuring her.
"No, I know what you mean… I know how everyone looks at you, but that doesn't mean they hate you. It's not everyday we accept new members, specially cats that aren't born in clans. I know it might be hard, but they'll get used to you. I promise you they're nice."
CreekClaw smiled. He wasn't sure he believed it completely, but it was a bit reassuring, "At least, I know I have a friend here." He meowed with a smile as he shuffled the ground with his paws nervously. He didn't take his eyes off the ground even after he felt NightPaw lean towards him, her head resting on his chest. He let out a soft purr, as he rested his head on top of hers. Her own purr was calming and before he knew it, CreekPaw was nodding off, leaning more towards her.
"Umm…"
CreekPaw was startled awake, "Oh! I, um, I'm sorry, I just… I accidentally nodded off. I wasn't trying to… I'm sorry!" CreekPaw backed away flustered.
NightPaw laughed before meowing, "It's alright. I mean, I should have known. We were just talking about it after all. With all the training you do, you must be tired."
"No I'm fine! I just nodded off a little, but I'm okay." He paused a bit, "I like coming out here. It's probably the only fun I have anyways."
"Alright then" she chuckled, "But you should probably get some sleep anyways."
"It's okay, we can stay here a little bit longer. I'm okay." He mowed. No matter how exhausted he was, he didn't want to pass this moment. He would rather be tired. This time, as short and limited as it was, was a happy moment. NightPaw was his only friend so far. Though his mentor was a well respected warrior in the clan, he was known for his stern attitude which made even his clanmates apprehensive to approach him. Not everyone in the clan treated CreekPaw badly, but they often avoided and ignored him. He was too scared to try to talk to the older cats, and the few apprentices that were around, weren’t friendly, aside from NightPaw of course. He didn’t want the small friendship he was beginning to form with a clan cat to fade due how little time he was actually able to interact with them due to his rigorous training.
He remained with the she-cat, making small talk and just simply spending time with her. She would talk to him about her own day, the things she enjoyed, things she wanted to do as a warrior, and other such things. Nothing particularly interesting ever happened during their secret meetings, and yet, CreekPaw wouldn’t trade them for anything. Trying to keep his eyes open, fighting the exhaustion was grueling, and yet, it was all worth it for CreekPaw to hear the soft voice of NightPaw. CreekPaw had never considered love, and yet he couldn’t ignore the fact that whenever NightPaw smiled, his heart would beat faster. Whenever he saw her, he felt a fluttering in his stomach. CreekPaw didn’t know whether what he felt was truly love or the joy of friendship after spending a crippling loneliness and a devastating loss like the one CreekPaw had experienced before joining Ash Clan. CreekPaw didn’t have the experience to correctly label his feelings, but he was okay with that. Whatever his feelings for NightPaw truly were, he was satisfied with knowing that they were pleasant. He was familiar enough with clan rules to know that these meetings out of camp during night were wrong, and yet, CreekPaw couldn’t fight that small feeling of selfishness he had within himself. To have NightPaw smile at him alone, to have her talk to him alone, to have her look at him alone with her gentle blue eyes, to spend time with her alone, it was all worth breaking the rules. He knew that tomorrow, as soon as the sun rose and he continued his training, the exhaustion from lack of sleep would cause him to blunder his training. He knew SleetFang would be upset and he knew he would be punished again, but as he looked at NightPaw, he couldn’t help but smile. He was okay with taking any punishment SleetFang would inflict on him, if it meant spending just one more heartbeat with her.