EMPLOYEE INTERVIEW [XX/XX/XXXX]

Interviewer: Thank you for taking the time to speak with me today.

Varia: Of course! It's not every day that you get an opportunity to be interviewed... hehe.

Interviewer: Yes, quite—could you tell me a bit about yourself?

Varia: Well, my name is Varia! I'm a gemstone, but I'm also a universe hopper. I go between different universes to learn more about them, and maybe even more about myself!

Interviewer: I see. You're one of the... two universe hopping employees at Lobotomy Corporation, correct?

Varia: That's correct! The other is Spierce. She's sweet, but I don't get to see her very often, since she's all the way up in the Control Team...

Interviewer: That makes sense. After all, it's best to spread out such power, isn't it?

Varia: I wouldn't say being a universe hopper makes me especially powerful! Most of my abilities come from the universe I was created for, anyway.

Interviewer: Even so, you're usually the one to interact with new WAW and ALEPH abnormalities, aren't you?

Varia: Well... yes! I think that's mostly because I have ALEPH equipment, though, and I'm not the only one who has it.

Interviewer: Yet you were the one to obtain the boxes needed for your EGO equipment, correct?

Varia: Mm... I was! I guess it's fair to say I'm sort of important, then.

Interviewer: Of course. Speaking of ALEPH abnormalities, I've been told your primary assignment is O-03-93—that is, Blue Star, the abnormality whose EGO equipment you're wearing.

Varia: Oh, yes! I know we're not really supposed to get attached to the abnormalities, but I'm honestly really glad I was assigned to Blue Star.

Interviewer: I have to ask... Do you worship Blue Star, like certain employees before you?

Varia: Hm? Why would I? I didn't even worship the entity that created me, much less something I know has nothing to do with my existence.

Interviewer: You're absolutely certain of this? You've never felt any urge to throw yourself into Blue Star's core, either?

Varia: The blue heart? Not that I remember, no.

Interviewer: Then could you tell me why you're so attached to Blue Star?

Varia: Hm... a lot of reasons! Mainly, I think it likes me, too? Even during works that don't involve physical interaction or me acting as a playmate, we get along really well! The manager even allowed me to have a guitar, so sometimes I bring it into Blue Star's containment room and play a song or two. I think it really likes when I sing—in fact, it's even "sung" along a few times!

Interviewer: It's "sung along"? Could you elaborate?

Varia: Well, Blue Star makes these little noises, right? They sound almost like beeps, but they're really long... I don't really know the word for it.

Interviewer: A tone?

Varia: A tone! It makes little tones, and sometimes, it'll "sing" using those tones! It always makes me really happy.

Interviewer: I see... Well, so long as this attachment doesn't turn into worship.

Varia: I'd like to view Blue Star and I as being on equal footing.

Interviewer: Mm... Could you tell me how you feel about the other ALEPH abnormalities you've been assigned to in the past?

Varia: Eeeee... I don't like them very much.

Interviewer: Why is that?

Varia: Well, for obvious reasons! [CENSORED] is an incredibly grotesque creature, for one.

Interviewer: Yet you've had very little issue interacting with it.

Varia: It doesn't bother me in the way it bothers the other employees, but it's just... The way it interacts is uncomfortable.

Interviewer: Could you elaborate?

Varia: It's just a very... [REDACTED] creature. The way it interacts with each and every employee—including me, someone who cannot [REDACTED]!—is bathed in some sort of [REDACTED] desire.

Interviewer: I-I see... and yet you made no request to be assigned to a different abnormality?

Varia: I didn't! Because I knew I was still the best person for the job, regardless of my discomfort.

Interviewer: That's very commendable of you.

Varia: I do what I can.

Interviewer: Of course. It was very nice getting to speak with you today, Varia.

Varia: You too! If you'll excuse me, I have to go check on our new WAW abnormality.

[ END RECORDING. ]