Seeking Shelter

Sumire was finishing up the dinner dishes, elbow deep in soapy water, when the doorbell rang. She looked up just as Koharu climbed out of the chair she had been nesting in.

“I’ve got it,” her roommate grumbled half-heartedly as she sauntered over to the door.

“Thanks,” Sumire called as she went back to rinse the last bowl and wondered who would bother to come over this late. She wasn’t expecting anyone, and Koharu wasn’t the sort to make plans without telling her.

Behind her there was the sound of the chain being pulled back and the creak of the door. Then a loud, and very familiar, voice echoed into the apartment. The words were indistinct over the sound of the water, but she could still tell who it was.

“Sumire-san, you have a visitor,” Koharu sounded like she was both confused and amused at the same time.

Sumire shut off the water and slowly turned around. “Mikoshiba-san?” She walked over to where the tall red-head was still standing in the entrance way.

“Yo,” he said as if that answered all questions about why he was here instead of at his dorm. “Sorry for showing up so late. Can I come in?”

“Of course,” she said, manners cutting through her confusion. “Come in! Do you want some tea?”

“Ah, sure. Tea is good.” He smiled, but it wasn’t his usual easy one. She was about to ask him about it when Koharu groaned and stretched.

“Look, I’m gonna go study in my room before bed,” she said, “you two...do whatever it is you want to do. Just try to keep it down, okay?”

“Ah, sure…” Both her and Mikoshiba-san watched Koharu walk away and shut her door with a final thud.

“You know I thought this before,” Mikoshiba said as he kicked off his shoes. “Your roommate is kind of...unfriendly, isn’t she?”

“She’s not that bad,” she felt compelled to defend Koharu. “You just have to get her to open up to you first.” Then before he could continue with that subject, “You can go sit while I get the tea ready. I’ll be there in a second.” She gestured toward the low couch that was in the center of the great room that made up a majority of the apartment. She headed over to the kitchenette that took up the west wall, and filled up the tea kettle. “We haven’t had a chance to go shopping this week, so I’m not sure what tea we have left. So if…”

“It’s okay, I’m fine with whatever,” his voice said from directly behind her. She whirled around, and squeaked in alarm. He was right there, so close, all she could see was his chest, and when she tried to jump back on instinct she hit the edge of the stove.

“Um, Mikoshiba-san?” She managed to get out, wondering why this was so embarrassing. “What are you doing?” She tilted her head back, trying to get a look at his face. He was so tall when he was this close!

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Helping?”

She sighed, and gently reached up to push him away. It was warm when her hands made contact with his chest.

“It’s boiling water,” she said trying not to laugh, “I think I can manage. Go sit down!” She pushed him towards the main area and turned back to what she was doing. She was just finishing with the tea when there was dull crash from behind her. She whirled around fast as she could. Mikoshiba was standing in front of one of the two bookcases, looking guilty, a couple of books on the floor in front of him. “Mikoshiba-san!”

“Sorry!” He said quickly and kneeled down to pick them up, “I just thought one looked like an old yearbook and I wanted…”

“It’s all right,” she went over to help him. “I’ve been meaning to organize it anyway, I just haven’t found the time.” After she straightened up, Mikoshiba held out the book he had picked up. She took it and put them both back on the shelf. “You should be more careful though,” she told him firmly as she made sure they weren’t going to fall again, “normally you aren’t that clumsy.” Or at least she hadn’t seen him be this bad before.

There was a pause from Mikoshiba then he gave a listless chuckle. “Yeah, I guess today isn’t my day,” but his words held an exhaustion that didn’t fit him at all. Now that she was standing next to him she could see that he looked almost tired and a bit pale. It was alarming. She took a step nearer him, and peered closer at his face.

“Hey,” she said, “are you…” A sharp whistle from the kitchen made her jump away from him and Mikoshiba started too.

“I take it that’s the…” he said glancing over towards the kitchen.

“The tea, yeah,” she said quickly. “I’ll get it. You go take a seat.”

A few minutes later she headed back to the couch, with a tray that had both tea and snacks. Mikoshiba was crouched in front of the old TV set they rarely used, fiddling with the game system hooked up there.

“I didn’t know you played,” he said over his shoulder as he held up one of the controllers.

“I don’t, much,” she said as she set things down and took a seat. “At least by myself. I had fun playing with my brothers though. And that belongs to Koharu-san, Mikoshiba-san. A friend of her's gave it to her, I think.”

“Oh,” Mikoshiba carefully set the controller down and joined her on the couch. “Uh, sorry for showing up so late,” he repeated, “I just went on a run and somehow I ended up here I guess.”

“I don’t mind,” she poured tea for both of them. “I was just surprised. You’ve only walked me home once or twice. I didn’t think you’d remember the way.”

“For some reason I’ve always been good with directions,” Mikoshiba started crunching on a rice cracker. “And you live on the route by the park, so it’s easy to remember.” He smiled, “‘sides, I’ve been meaning to come visit anyway. You saw my dorm room, so it was only fair that I got to see your place.”

Normally she would have made a joke about that, but that smile was still off. It didn’t light up his face the way it usually did.

“Mikoshiba-san,” she said hesitantly, “is everything all right?” He started choking on his cracker.

“I, ah,” he grabbed for the cup of tea that she had set out and managed to calm down. “I’m fine! See?” He tried to smile reassuringly, but it still wasn’t reaching his eyes.

“You showed up here late, and you’re acting...fidgety. Even more than usual for you.” She looked pointly at his leg, which had been bouncing impatiently since he sat down. Immediately Mikoshiba stopped and slowly sat up a little straighter.

Sumire gave a sigh, “I’m not trying to force you to say anything,” she said gently, “but I’m here if you want to talk. Apparently I’m a good listener.”

Mikoshiba stared at her for a moment then laughed, and it was an honest laugh this time, if still tired sounding.. “You notice everything don’t you?” He said and gave her the most relax smile she’s seen since he walked in the door. <./p>

For some reason that smile made her stomach do a strange sort of flip-flop and she couldn’t look at him for a second.. “Not everything. Just when my friends are being weirder than usual.”

“...So I’m usually weird?”

“...You probably don’t want me to answer that. And you didn’t answer my question.”

Mikoshiba looked uncomfortable for a minute then he let out a gusty breath, and ran a hand through his hair. “I’m just...I dunno, restless? Nervous maybe?” He collapsed back against the couch and stared up at the ceiling. “It’s frustrating! I'm not usually like this!” He slammed one fist into his palm.

It took her a moment to realize what he was talking about, and that was only because he’d mentioned to her earlier. “But being nervous before a competition is normal? And the swim meet is only a week away. I’d be more surprised if you weren't nervous about it.”

Mikoshiba started drumming his fingers on his knee. “It’s different this time,” he said, and shifted uncomfortably. “I mean, yeah, you always get a bit nervous about a meet, but usually I’m more excited than nervous. Now though it’s like,” he made some helpless gestures with one of his hands.

“...I’m not usually this uncool.” His hand slowly dropped back down to rest on his knee. “It’s kind of pathetic. I’ve been to nationals before! It’s not like this is new.”

Sumire frowned, then put down her cup. She reached over and gently covered his hand with hers.

“Just why is that pathetic?”

He stared at her for a second, as if he couldn't comprehend her words.

“Because,” he said as if it were the most obvious thing. “I should know how to deal with this. I've been doing this for years, so it’s not like I don’t know what to expect. Coach was telling me that he thinks I’m going to do really well.” He grinned triumphantly at that, then it slowly faded. “So I don’t get why this is messing with my head!” He ran his free hand through his hair again, leaving it standing up more than usual.

She reluctantly move her hand away from his and studied him for a moment. “If the coach thinks that you’re going to do well, maybe that’s part of the problem?” She said at last. “That he’s putting too much pressure on you?”

“I’m used to pressure!” Mikoshiba shot back. He hopped off the couch and started pacing. “I got recruited to Samezuka too, and they expected a lot of me out of there , but I could deal with it. Once you figure out what the coaches want it’s really not that bad..” He trailed off, still scowling slightly.

Sumire cleared her throat. “So what do your coaches want from you this time?” she said hesitantly. She and Mikoshiba might be friends, but she couldn’t pretend to really know anything about the university’s swim program. It wasn’t like she was much of an athlete either. This was just a guess she hoped was too off the mark.

Mikoshiba stopped pacing for a second. “They want me to win,” he said, “I know that much, but…” he trailed off and for a moment looked stunned. “But until they figure out how I’m doing at the meet I’m not sure what else they're gonna want me to do.”

Sumire couldn’t help smiling a little at the look on his face. “I think anyone is going to be a little bit nervous when you think about that.”

“Huh,” Mikoshiba walked over and plopped back on the couch next to her. There was a faintly amazed look on his face. “You know, I kinda remember something like this from when I first got into Samezuka. I was pretty jittery before my first meet them too. But I was just a skinny first year then…”

Trying to picture what he must have been like as a first year in high school was kind of hilarious.. “I’m not sure about skinny anymore,” she said teasingly, “but you do realize that we’re first years again, right?”

He looked startled for a second then just burst out laughing. “I guess you’re right,” he said after he’d calmed down. “I wasn’t really thinking about it like that.” He grinned at her. “Though I guess it kinda makes sense. Still kind of a stupid thing for me to get worked up over though. I know how to deal with it. I’ll be fine if I just stop thinking about it so much.”

“Stop...thinking?” he said it so easily that Sumire was almost jealous. Did he really mean it that way? Or did he just know how to deal with it know that he had identified the problem? When it came to Mikoshiba-san, she had a feeling that either one could be true.

“Yeah,” he said, which clarified nothing but he was smiling normally again, so she decided it didn’t matter. “And uh, thanks for this. You know, for listening to me when I just showed up out of nowhere, and for lot laughing about it either. It means a lot.”

There was a soft, warm, feeling in her chest at the words. She took a sip of tea while she savored the feeling. It was amazing, really, how Mikoshiba-san could make her feel so relaxed, then so self-conscious with a few breaths. She immediately buried those feelings that threatened to spill out.. Now was really not the time to be dragging something like that out into the open, not when she didn’t fully understand her emotions herself.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said, waving away his words. “I’m happy you trusted me enough to want to talk to me about it. ”

He gave her a surprised look. “Why wouldn’t I?” he said, again, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “You were the one that said we were friends, right?”

“Well, yeah,” she managed to stammer out, “we are.” At least she had hoped they were. She had been spending far too much time thinking of what Mikoshiba thought of her lately, and it was getting confusing.

“Then of course I’d talk to you about it!” He made a sort of vauge gestured,“you’re..umm...good about stuff like this I guess? About making stuff make sense I mean. And you’re easy to talk too.”

“Maybe that’s why I ended up coming here when I was running. I figured that if I saw you, I would feel better.”

Sumire caught her breath. Mikoshiba was looking at her out of the corner of his eye, and in the lighting it looked like he was blushing slightly. It wasn’t as if what she was starting to feel for him was totally unfamiliar, but it was harder to put it into words than she remembered.

“

Mikoshiba-san,” she managed to say at last, “I…”

Only was she was speaking she saw him glance behind her go completely still, and then he gave a yelp that made her jump.

“Crap! When did it get this late?”

She glanced back at the clock on the far wall, momentarily irritated at Koharu for putting it there. “I guess time got away from us,” she said reluctantly.

Mikoshiba sprang up, “I have to get back,” he said, but he sounded almost sad about it. “...Sorry.”

“Why sorry?” she said, forcing herself to sound light. “It’s late, and I don’t want you to get in trouble over it. Not when you have everything else to worry about.”

“Yeah, but…” he said reluctantly, “look, I’m really glad you put up with me complaining at you even though I just barged in. I’ll make it up you, I promise.”

She stood up to meet him. “You don’t have to do that! It’s what friends are for.”

Mikoshiba chuckled, “yeah,” he said, and he looked incredibly happy about that. They made small talk as he headed back towards the door to retrieve his shoes. As he stood up to leave, he paused for a moment.

“You’re gonna come watch the meet, right?” he asked. She wondered if he was purposely giving her puppy eyes or if that was just an accident.

She had already told him she was going to go, but she couldn’t resist that look. “Yes, yes, I’ll be there,” she assured him. “I’ll be cheering as loud as I can. You’d better not miss me.”

That just made him chuckle. “I’ll look for you!” he said firmly. “Just watch, I’ll show you how awesome I really am, and win everything.”

Now she couldn’t help but laugh. She was tempted to tease him a little, but she didn’t want to make him lose his confidence right after he got it back.

“I'll be looking forward to that,” she said instead. “Just don’t push yourself too much, all right?”

“I know, I know, I’ll be careful!” he gave her a smile. “So….umm…” he wavered for a moment. “I guess this is good night?”

“Yeah,” she said, “good night.” Then she found herself not wanting to see him go. “Are you going to be okay getting back to the dorm?”

“Me?” he blinked at her, then just smirked, “‘course! I’m tough!”

“Still,” she said, “just promise me that you’ll be careful, all right?”

He chuckled, "All right, I’ll be careful, okay? So don’t worry about it, and just get some sleep.”

“I’ll try,” she said at last. “...Good night, Mikoshiba-san.”

“...Night,” he said, hesitating a moment before he opened the door and slipped outside. The last she saw of him before he shut it behind himself was her giving her a little wave.

She stayed standing there for a good minute or so after he had gone, then she forced herself to go and lock the door again.

Then she found herself leaning against it, hand pressed to cheeks that were far hotter than she should have been.

Oh, she had a pretty good idea of why Mikoshiba was affecting her this way.

Now she just had to figure out what she wanted to do about it.