Circus Memory

Life in Greed was dull for 12 year old Florian. Nothing in the circle was made for entertainment, everything dreary and gray. So one day while walking home from school, Florian’s eye was easily caught by a bright, flashy poster advertising a circus coming to Greed in the upcoming months. He knew he wanted to go. No, he needed to see what the circus had to offer. A travelling circus visiting Greed was a miracle come true! Florian saw this as the perfect opportunity to spend some time with his parents. They were a bit gray like the rest of Greed, so maybe they would feel some excitement while watching the show!

He knew that working up to asking his parents would be tough, but worth it. They wouldn’t acknowledge his wants if his schoolwork wasn’t up to their standards. So putting aside his secret passion for magic, Florian studied. Every day once classes were over, he stayed late at school, getting extra assistance from teachers to make sure he had a full understanding of their lessons. As a result from his hard work, all of Florian’s test scores were perfect. Even for the boring subjects he didn’t care about, like math!

Gathering his graded papers in a nice black presentation binder that was laying around the house, Florian waited for the perfect opportunity to bring it to his father. It was easy to tell when his father was in a good mood. He always drank whiskey when he was in a good mood.

Florian knocked on the door to his dad’s office while he was on the phone to let him know he was there, then patiently waited for the conversation to be over before stepping into the room. Clearing his throat, Florian spoke up.

“Here's my latest test scores.” He said, putting the binder on the edge of his father’s desk. His dad didn’t look up to greet Florian, simply taking the binder and began flipping through it silently. He hummed a few times, nothing more. Florian, taking the silence as approval, decided to speak again.

“There’s a circus coming to Greed in a few days. You and mother work so hard, I thought it would be a fun way to take a break. We don’t spend much time as a family, so-”

“Stop.” His father interrupted, now for the first time looking over to Florian since he entered the room. “You did good on a few measly tests. What about your scores before these? You weren’t even getting 100’s.” He sighed, and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Florian went tense. His father only did that when he was disappointed.

“If we take you to this circus, you'll probably decline and start getting the same grades as before. Why should I reward you for doing something you already should have been doing? Your siblings never asked for ridiculous things like this, and their scores were always better than yours.” He closed the binder with a loud snap, then held it out for his son to take.

Florian had no idea how to respond. He wanted to interject, tell his father that if he had this one thing, he would always put his full effort in. But he couldn’t, because his father was right. Subpar perfection shouldn’t be rewarded. He needed to work harder to keep up with where his siblings were at his age.

“I’m sorry for bothering you. I’ll keep that in mind, father. I’ll try harder.” Florian said, not sure what else to say, then took the binder back and turned to leave.

“One more thing.” His father said, taking a long drink, back already away from his son. “Don’t take things that don’t belong to you. Your mother is going to give you an earful when she finds out you took one of her binders.”

“Right, of course. I’m sorry, again.” Florian apologized once more then left the office with his stomach in a knot. He should have known better. He should have been better.

Satan, he wished could have been better.