Welcome to Squidbeak Splatoon!

Closing shifts were always dreadfully boring, even in a power plant that housed dozens of Zapfish. But Oliver supposed that he couldn’t really complain all that much. The plant was quiet, few people bothered him, and the Zapfish were always delightfully adorable, squeaking whenever he passed them by. Besides, it wasn’t as if the job was all that difficult… 

Clean the offices, take out the trash, check on the power levels, and record any needed maintenance that he couldn’t do himself… It took energy, but it was pretty easy to manage. But there was a certain bitterness that came with this job; he wanted to be a technician. Someone who actually worked hands-on with the electricity… And the Zapfish that lived there. At the very least, as a custodian he could pay them a visit and give them a snack now and again. The way they squawked and wiggled their fins and barbels were always so cute to him.

Pushing his cart into the back room, Oliver couldn’t help but heave a sigh. He dumped his dirty mop water, put away his cleaning supplies, and washed his hands. He kept telling himself that this custodial position was temporary, and he’d be able to work as an employee proper in the power plant eventually, but there were times where that felt like naught but a pipe dream. His job felt stagnant, and he didn’t yet have enough experience for the position he wanted. If only he could get his foot in the door!

However, he was still young. Young enough for his peers to poke fun at him for having a job, instead of earning money off of ink sports. He wasn’t much of a fighter, and he didn’t particularly care for any of the sports available! And… He got sick of the jabs his friends would make, such as, “No aim, no brain, must be a bucket main!”

The Inkling brushed back his front two tentas, which bounced back over his forehead with a light slap. He then undid his topknot to adjust his yellow tentacles, as they had managed to wiggle themselves out of place while he worked. As he did so, his blue eyes lazily glanced at the large, digital clock overhead. Just about time to wrap up and lock the building. There were so many things to lock that he always worried that he’d miss at least one door, or would forget one of the Zapfish cages. Arming the building was one thing, but the heavy key ring he had to tote around was no joke!

Most of the doors he had already locked as he made his rounds, however there were still a number that he had to take care of. As he casually made his way through the long hallways and sealed the doors behind him, he mulled a few things over in his head; had he emptied his bertha? Yes. Did he clean out the back bathroom? Definitely. Did he lock up all the doors in the Zapfish house…?

By the time that thought came to mind, he had already finished locking the rest of the doors, and was ready to punch in the code to arm it. Well… They had added extra security in the Zapfish house quite recently, so as long as the external doors were locked, it was fine, right? Not to mention, the rest of the building was secure, so it probably didn’t matter. It wasn’t as if the Zapfish could get out on their own, and as far as he knew, aside from the security officer, the building was empty. If he got yelled at, that was something he’d deal with tomorrow.

Building armed, Oliver stepped out into the night air, and listened to the muffled beeping of the alarm system arming itself behind the large glass doors. Tucking his hands into his pants pockets, he closed his eyes and took in a deep breath of night air. The sky was dark, but the night was still young…

Not as if Oliver was really going to take advantage of that. He was more than ready to laze around at home.

However, there was a strange sound that caught his pointed ears. They twitched slightly, and his brow creased. It sounded like… Some girls talking? He couldn’t quite make it out, and could just hear them speaking over the chorus of crickets around him. The Inkling puffed–who on earth was still around this late? Or did somebody break in?

… Security should have been able to handle that. However Oliver couldn’t resist the urge to go and check it out. Striding along the sidewalk, he perked his ears, following the sound in hopes to locate whoever was still around. With every step, his brow creased further as he realized he… Couldn’t understand what these girls were saying. Were they from out of country, or something? He was soon creeping along, clinging to the wall of the main building as his suspicions rose quickly.

Just as he peeked around the corner, he saw the intruders standing atop the Zapfish house, their shapes illuminated by the moon above. Two girls with large, bright crimson tentacles atop their heads. They wore goggles that glinted red in the night air, and held themselves with brash confidence. The pair appeared to be pulling something from the roof of the Zapfish house. That’s when Oliver’s hearts nearly leaped out of his chest.

From the opening they produced a battery–a canister in which a working Zapfish was kept–and inside of it was one of the precious little fish! Clenching his beak, Oliver’s brain scrambled to figure out what to do. Should he call the police? Should he inform security? Should he go after them himself?! Not thinking clearly in his sudden panic, the Inkling found his feet suddenly moving on their own, feeling a strong conviction to reclaim the Zapfish himself. His sneakers struck the pavement audibly as he charged towards the Zapfish house.

The intruders had taken notice of this. They shot him a quick glance, then without hesitation, both of them took either end of the battery and made a break for it. 

Oliver was hardly the fastest Inkling around–he was far from the athletic type–but he had endurance to spare. As he charged across the parking lot he couldn’t help but dread that they had already vanished into the night, the Zapfish in tow. Upon rounding the bend however, he was relieved to see the glow of the battery vanish into a nearby storm drain. A trail!

Against his better judgement, he followed the pair into the depths, squeezing between the grating in his squid form. He plopped unceremoniously at the bottom of the well–thank goodness it hadn’t rained much recently–and looked around the conjoining tunnels in hopes that he could catch the glow once again. 

The tail end of the battery’s light could be seen vanishing down a tunnel to his right. He wasted little time chasing after it, but with every step so it seemed, the battery’s glow kept getting further and further away, until finally he could see it no more.

After what felt like an hour of running, Oliver finally gave up. He was short of breath, his hearts were pounding, and he was plum exhausted. These tunnels twisted on forever, and the stench of sewage and limescale were starting to give him a headache. He had hoped to figure out where the pair had taken the Zapfish so he could tell the authorities, but.. No such luck.

Of course, by now he had completely lost track of where he had been and which direction he came from. His tentacles sank, wondering if he’d gone too far out to get back to Inkopolis before the sun rose. He really should have just left chasing those girls up to the authorities! He’d be kicking himself for this tomorrow one way or another.

After catching his breath and a bit more walking, he found another grate that led to the surface. He didn’t know where that went, but if he went up he’d at least be able to size up his surroundings and go from there. Maybe he could catch a cab or a bus, or something. He couldn’t have been that far from Inkopolis, right?

Emerging from the grate, Oliver had to shove some foliage out of the way, and clamber out from between some shrubbery and rocks. Didn’t seem like this drain was used very often. Shrugging it off, he took in a deep breath to shove the stench that had been assailing his senses out of his nose. He dusted off his pants, placed his hands on his hips, and tried to take a look around. 

Nothing about this place seemed remotely familiar. As a matter of fact the locale itself seemed pretty remote! Not to mention a bit… Alien, for lack of a better term. Floating platforms, floating rocks… Everything appeared to be rather hap-hazard here. Oliver couldn’t think of a place that had “architecture” like this back in Inkopolis. The only thing that was “normal” was a shabby-looking shack some distance away. 

Grunting, Oliver began to grumble under his breath. He supposed the shack would have to do for now. If no one was living there it’d be good shelter until daybreak, if nothing else. He shuffled his way over, his feet dragging over the dirt. As he made his way over, he passed by another, larger grate… He grunted again, his nose scrunching up. Right now? He didn’t want to deal with more pipes or sewage.

Getting closer to the hut, he could hear something shuffling about inside. He froze in place, staring wide-eyed at what he thought was the entrance. All of the sudden, there was a loud shout, followed by a man charging past the fabric that draped over the door. With the Bamboozler he held, the man fired off a warning shot, splattering Oliver with rust-colored ink.

“TH-THE OCTARIANS ARE UPON US!!” the stranger cried, “You’ll not be taking me tonight!” 

Oliver’s ink bristled in shock. He jumped backwards on his toes, loosing a delayed scream as he stared down the barrel of the discolored Bamboozler. 

It was then that the stranger seemed to realize that the intruder was not in fact an Octarian, but an Inkling who had strayed far from home. He blinked his wide eyes and scratched at his chin as his beard quivered, now using the Bamboozler to help prop himself up.

“Oh, sorry!” he chuckled in an all-too-casual way, “I lost my cool, there. You can never be too careful ‘round these parts!”

Oliver could merely stare at the old man before him with his beak hanging open. Just seconds ago he thought that he was going to meet his maker at the hands of some well-trained and agile hunter… 

But looking at him now, the Inkling felt a little embarrassed for getting so surprised. This guy looked to be well into his hundred’s, and wore such shabby clothing that it made the shack look like a posh hotel. The patchwork poncho he wore was adorned with what appeared to be war medals, and his tentacles stuck out of a hole at the top of his dusty cap. Did he… Live out here? Oliver let go of the breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

Still tense–he wasn’t about to let his guard down with a guy whose eyes were as wild as that–Oliver allowed himself to take a slightly more casual pose. His brow creased and he opened his mouth to speak, but no words came.

The old man didn’t seem to have any such trouble as he continued to talk, “I’m Cap’n Cuttlefish,” he chimed while holding up a peace sign, “Leader of the legendary Squidbeak Splatoon!” Oliver had no idea what this guy was on about, “And I’ve been waiting for a young’un like you!”

Stepping back, Oliver’s expression grew all the more confused, “N-now hold on a minute, old man–”

“Cap’n Cuttlefish! Open your ears, young man!”

“A-alright, Cap’n… I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Oliver took in a deep breath, “But I’m not about to be recruited for some… Platoon, or whatever.” 

Cuttlefish tilted his head to one side, “Eh? Then what are you doing all the way out in Octo Valley for?” he put his free hand on his hip, “Not for sight-seeing, surely!”

Shaking his head, Oliver grunted, “Wh–no, of course not! I came out here because…” he stuck his hands in his pockets, “Some girls came to the power plant I work at and stole a Zapfish.” he puffed. He was really regretting that decision now, “Just wanted to see if I could trail ‘em for a bit to give a lead to the authorities….” Octo Valley? He hadn’t a single clue where on earth that was. No wonder he couldn’t understand a word those girls were saying.

Those seemed to be the magic words, however, because Cuttlefish’s eyes lit up with delight, and were nearly sparkling. He propped himself upright and stepped over to Oliver, his eyes darting up and down the Inkling’s body, “Oho! Then you are the type of young’un I’m looking for!”

“Wait, what?”

Circling around like a vulture, Cuttlefish tapped Oliver’s calf with the side of his Bamboozer, “Young and spry,” he ignored the Inkling’s indignant cries, “Got a lot of fight in you?” he asked, poking Oliver’s arm with the end of the stick. Before he got a response, Cuttlefish circled back around front, “Gotta get a bit of exercise in, too…” he thwapped Oliver’s stomach twice with the side of his cane.

Defensively covering his stomach with both arms, Oliver’s face got a little hot as he cried out, “Hey!” his voice cracked with embarrassment, “Yeesh, what are you a car’s salesman or something?” his tentacles curled. 

Laughing, Cuttlefish shook his head, “You pegged me wrong there, but you’re the perfect candidate to help me reclaim the Zapfish the Octarians stole!” he struck the ground with the end of his cane for added emphasis, “Please, you must help me!”

There was a surge of dread in the pit of Oliver’s stomach. Sure, he didn’t have  a reason to not believe this guy–he saw the Zapfish being stolen in the first place… But there was an overwhelming feeling of unease that he didn’t really know how to deal with. He didn’t really trust Cap’n Cuttlefish, but even if he did, what was he supposed to do? Oliver was no fighter…

He stepped backwards, his eyes drifting to the ground as he lifted his arms in a nervous fashion, “Look, Cap’n…” he sighed, “Y-you’ve got the wrong idea, and the wrong guy.”

“Nonsense!” Cuttlefish cut in, “You had enough gumption to follow those octos all the way out here!” he struck a pose, “If that doesn’t say ‘hero,’ I don’t know what does!”

“L-listen to me!” Oliver cried, “I barely even play ink sports, I’m hardly the type to go in guns blazing!” he pressed a hand against his forehead, pushing his bangs back, “I barely know the first thing about fighting, and I’m not about to put my life on the line, especially if it’s all going to be in vain!”

The spark in Cuttlefish’s eyes slowly vanished, replacing the youthful glow with an ancient weariness. His whole body seemed to deflate too, the Bamboozler curving slightly under the added weight when his shoulders slumped. His disappointment was palpable. Oliver’s shoulders tensed up as he felt a pang of guilt.

“Oh,” the old man sighed deeply, “Well I suppose that’s only fair,” Cuttlefish placed his free hand behind his back, “Can’t expect a hero to just fall into your lap.”

Shuffling uncomfortably on his feet, Oliver rubbed the back of his neck. It did feel a little unfair that the Cap’n would try and pin him as a “hero” immediately after they met. The feeling of unease only grew significantly at this point, and he so desperately wanted to get home. He didn’t want to prolong this longer than it needed to be.

“Uh… Can you,” he let his hand fall back to his side, “Show me how to get back to Inkopolis…?” he asked nervously.

Cuttlefish gave him a long stare. Even with his wide eyes, Oliver could feel the guy judging him. The Inkling’s eyes darted away.

“Sure.” he finally responded. He pointed the end of his cane to the grate that Oliver had noted earlier, “Head down there, and follow the marked tunnels. It’ll take you right to the Plaza.”

There was a long and awkward pause. Oliver grabbed his arm and nodded, before shuffling towards the drain, “Uh… Thanks, Cap’n.” he added over his shoulder, “I… Hope you find a better hero to help you. I’m gonna report what I can when I get back, so…”

“Good luck having anyone believe you,” Cuttlefish remarked with a bitter twinge, “No one believes me when I say the Octarians have been stealing Zapfish.” Oliver had little chance to respond to this, as the elderly cephalopod had already vanished into his hut.

Oliver remained still for a while longer, giving a backwards glance to where Cuttlefish once stood. His mind wandered into a dark pit, wondering if he should have agreed to help… But what could he have done? He really had convinced himself that he wouldn’t be able to make a difference. What a coward he was.

Feeling a bit ashamed of himself, Oliver sank through the grate, and followed the path home. Just as Cuttlefish said, there were pipes that were marked with a red trail, which lead him all the way back to the plaza. Peeking out of the grate, Oliver checked his surroundings before climbing out and shaking the ink off of his head. 

On his way home, he reported the crime he saw to the police, retelling what he saw, when he saw it, and where the girls had fled to. He did his best to avoid mentioning the Octarians, taking Cuttlefish’s warning to heart. 

Apparently, a number of Zapfish had been stolen, and it wasn’t until now that they had a more proper description of the thieves. Thinking on it, it was no wonder why the power plant had upped security so much in the Zapfish house alone in recent. 

However… He couldn’t help but feel a little disgruntled knowing that he didn’t find out about this until tonight… But since he was a custodian, he was so far down the totem pole that the higher ups didn’t give him much of a second thought. He was almost always the last one to find out about any news or interesting things.

Oliver begrudgingly shuffled home. It had been a long night, and he could already tell that this was going to be a long week. Not wanting to think about it for much longer, the Inkling put himself to bed, hoping that he wouldn’t get chewed out for being on the property while the Zapfish was stolen.

The next few days went by fine. He didn’t get chewed out for the stolen Zapfish, but throughout his shifts, he couldn’t help but think about Cap’n Cuttlefish and his plea for help. He tried to push it out of his mind, but his guilt was starting to get the better of him.

At least there didn’t seem to be any more robberies, especially now that they had upped security even more. They hired a few strong-looking fellows to keep watch over night and throughout the day. The Zapfish seemed a little intimidated by them, and Oliver could feel their eyes digging into him every time he went in to clean around their enclosures… He didn’t even have room to give them treats! But it was all for the better he supposed, because at least they were safe.

Or… So he thought. Early Saturday morning, Oliver woke with a start to an alert blaring away on his phone. Grunting loudly the Inkling reached blindly for it, his hand slapping against the table until it finally found the phone. He squinted into the phone’s light, his bleary eyes trying to make out the text. Once it came into focus, his ink turned cold.

The… The Great Zapfish had been stolen?! Oliver bolted upright, tossing his sheets to one side. He silenced the alert and started to read the accompanying message. 

“At approximately 2:30am, the Great Zapfish has reportedly gone missing after the crash of an unidentified flying object. Connections between these events are currently unconfirmed, however they are both going under investigation. Few eyewitness reports claim to have seen strange individuals interacting with the Zapfish before it went missing.

“Until the Great Zapfish is recovered, power shortages, brown outs, and even outages are a possibility in the near future. We urge everyone to conserve power as much as they can until this situation is resolved.”

Oliver’s blue eyes kept running back over the message over and over. He didn’t think it was possible. He didn’t think it would happen! This just had to be the work of those Octarians… But he didn’t expect them to be able to steal something as large and powerful as the fish that powered their entire city!

He flopped back in disbelief, hands falling to his sides. His phone slipped from his fingers, and the screen eventually dimmed, shrouding his room in darkness once more. Oliver remained still for some time, long enough for morning light to start creeping through his blinds.

…

He had to do something. 

Oliver knew where the Zapfish had been taken to, and… The guilt of declining that Cap’n Cuttlefish was still hanging over him like a dark storm cloud. He wasn’t a good fighter, and he didn’t know the first thing about being a hero, but… Maybe he could make a difference. His friends were always telling him to apply himself, after all…

Rolling out of bed, Oliver got dressed, grabbed a trail bar, and slipped out of his apartment into Inkopolis Plaza. 

Being so early, few Inklings were out and about–even the Squid Sisters weren’t present, the early morning news being handled by a prawn who was going over the known details of the Zapfish theft. It was unlikely that most teens would want to be awake before the sun was fully awake itself, and Oliver had to admit, this was all for the better… There wasn’t nearly as much of a chance of him being spotted as he squeezed himself through the grate. 

Standing at the base of the drain’s well in Octo Valley, Oliver stared up at the dappled light peeking through the bars. Was he ready for this? Absolutely not. Was he going to do it…?

Above, he could hear Cuttlefish apparently talking to himself, “Bah, I keep an eye on those Octarians all the time,” he huffed, “And yet they still stole the Great Zapfish out from under my nose!”

Oliver was glad he hadn’t eaten much before coming out here, because his stomach was doing back-flips on him as he prepared himself to emerge. He took in a deep breath, screwed his eyes shut, and made way to pop out of the grate…

… Only to backpedal immediately when he saw not only Cap’n Cuttlefish, but two girls with him. Oliver’s hearts nearly jumped out of his chest when he landed heavily on his rump. Dread washed over him. If only he knew that there were other people out here…!

“Aw, don’t be so hard on yourself, gramps!” one of the girls cried, “They’ve been extra sneaky as of late!”

The other girl sighed, “If you call flying around in a UFO ‘sneaky…’“ 

“Well… Yeah, other than that, I mean!”

While the Cap’n seemed pretty invested in the conversation, his wide eyes caught a glimpse of a yellow flash. Curious, he hobbled over to the storm drain, much to the confusion of the girls.

“Something up, Gramps?” the first girl asked.

“Eh?” he leaned over the grate, scratching at his beard, “Oh, I saw someone over here… They’re at the bottom of the well, in fact.” he tapped the bars with his Bamboozler, “Hey there, young’n! Why don’t you come up here and meet the crew!”

“Hm, you seem in a better mood all of the sudden.” the second remarked. The girls stepped over to take a peek themselves. 

“Heheh!” Cuttlefish nodded with glee, “I know this boy,” he explained, “He stopped by a few days ago.” his cheeks creased as he grinned from ear to ear, “Looks like you just couldn’t stay away, huh! Good timing, too!”

The first girl keeled over and rested her palms against her knees, trying to make out Oliver’s face in the shadows, “Oh, Gramps told me about you!” she chirped, “Hey, we don’t bite, you know! Though Agent 2 might threaten to do so if she hasn’t had her coffee, yet!” she couldn’t help but giggle. 

The three chatted with each other briefly while Oliver stared slack-jaw up at them. He really didn’t expect there to be more than one person out here, and for there to be agents no less. He could only make out their silhouettes from where he sat, but… The voices of the girls sounded strikingly familiar. Exactly like the Squid Sisters, as a matter of fact! But… That couldn’t be possible, right? They were pop stars, what would they be doing out in the middle of nowhere, getting their hands dirty?

“Are you going to come up or not?” Agent 2 asked, “Or are you one of those sewer-dwellers Agent 1 tries to scare me with?”

Hesitating briefly, Oliver finally shuffled up onto his feet. The others backed away to give him some space when he emerged, two of the three giving him bright smiles. Oliver stood rather rigid, clinging to his left arm with his right.

Cuttlefish stood tall, holding his cane with both hands in front of him, “Ohoho!” he chuckled merrily, “So, did you take saving the Zapfish into consideration?”

Pausing, Oliver eventually gave him a nervous nod in reply, “Uh… Y-yeah… When I heard that the Great Zapfish went missing…” he cleared his throat, “I thought… I had to do something, since I had a good idea of what happened to it.” 

Cuttlefish whooped with glee and bounced on his feet as if his youth had been returned, “Great!” he sang, “Then let me get you acquainted with the rest of the Squidbeak Splatoon!” he pointed to the one clad in pink, who gave a bright smile and waved, “That’s Agent 1,” then he pointed to the one who wore mostly gray, “And that’s Agent 2.” she gave Oliver a sleepy stare and held up the peace sign.

Oliver simply grunted, smiling awkwardly as he gave a tiny wave. Agent 1 wore a beanie and sunglasses, while Agent 2 wore a face mask… The two were clearly trying to hide their identities, but going by their tentacle styles and their voices… There was no doubt about it, they were the Squid Sisters! But would it be rude to ask? They were clearly at least trying to keep it a secret. Oliver refrained for now, and quickly averted his gaze to not make it obvious he was staring. 

“So!” 1 barely wasted any time, “You’re gonna help us reclaim the Zapfish the Octarians stole, right?”

Oliver nodded again, “Y-yeah, I’m gonna… Try.” his voice lowered a bit, “I’m really… Not a good fighter, but…”

“You’re probably better than Agent 1,” 2 remarked. Her cheeks creased as if she was smirking under her mask.

1 placed her hands on her hips, “Or Agent 2 when she gets over-confident!”

“Anyway, we’ll show you the ropes, squid kid,” 2 continued, “We’re not going to immediately throw you in the ring with an Octoweapon.”

The yellow Inkling let out a strained laugh, still clearly uncertain about his decision to essentially join an army, if this rag-tag team of cuttlefish could be considered such. But there was a great relief knowing that he wasn’t going to be alone for this. 

Stepping over to him, 1 placed her hand on Olilver’s shoulder in a hearty way, “Don’t be so nervous, you’ll do just fine, I’m sure!”

“You’ll just respawn if you get splatted, anyway.” added 2.

Cuttlefish stamped his Bamboozler against the dirt, “Still! We need to get this boy some armor, and I have just the thing!” he proclaimed before waddling into his shack. Moments later, he returned with some neatly-folded gear that wouldn’t have been entirely out of place on a construction site. Oliver eyed it curiously. 

“Go on,” urged 1, “Try it on!” she motioned towards the shack, implying he could change in there. 

Nodding quickly, Oliver followed her instructions. He didn’t really take the time to look around the shabby, makeshift home while he changed, but he could hear 1 and 2 whispering.

“You think he recognized us, or something?” 2 asked.

“Well, he did seem a bit star-struck,” 1 replied pensively, “You saw how wide his eyes were, right?”

“Maybe he was just surprised to have a couple pretty girls talking to him, heheh!” Cuttlefish quipped.

“Oh, shut it, Gramps!”

Moments later, Oliver emerged with the new gear equipped, tugging on the ends of the safety vest to adjust it properly over his jacket. Overall, the fit was surprisingly comfortable–even the headphones and shoes were perfectly snug.

“H-how do I look?” he asked with a nervous smile.

Agent 1 clapped her hands together, “You look great!”

“What a great fit!” Cuttlefish hummed, “Your brand-new Hero Suit will serve you well. Keep it clean, and all that!”

Agent 2′s brow creased, “New? Aren’t those hand-me-downs?” she whispered to 1. The other shrugged. 

Cuttlefish clearly didn’t hear the remark as he continued, “It’s all settled then, you’re officially a member of the Squidbeak Splatoon!” he hummed with delight, “We’ll get you a weapon and an ink tank… And a name to go with your new position.”

“That’s easy,” Agent 1 chirped, “From here on–in Octo Valley–you’re gonna be known as… Agent 3!” she threw her arms up in delight.

“Nice pause for effect.” 2 chuckled dryly, “Though we never did ask for your actual name, huh…”

A genuine smile finally made its way onto Oliver’s lips. He whispered, “Agent 3…” under his breath, allowing it to sink in. For some reason, he liked the sound of that. Perhaps it was just nice to finally be included in something important, or the warm reception he was given. Given a gun, 3 started to feel as though he could take on whatever the Octarians threw at him.