Caving Craving

“Is this everyone?” Ozark asks the suspiciously quiet room, trying to mask the disappointment in their voice. They don’t need eyesight to know that there are far fewer paralogos here than they invited to go spelunking.

“I think it’s just the five of us,” responds Nieve’s soft, smooth voice.

“Six!” Satsuki objects, “Azuki will be coming along, of course.”

Well, if they’re counting companions, Twain is coming along too, so it’s actually seven. But Ozark has more important things on their mind than nitpicking numbers. Such as: how to get more of their friends to come spelunking with them.

“Six is still not ENOUGH!” Gertrude honks, “I can’t believe out of THREE whole libraries, this is EVERYONE who wanted to go to a CAVE! This is NOT a proper flock.”

“Chill, bruh,” Cory says, their voice accompanied by a muffled fwap that Ozark assumes is the nudibranch logos patting Gertrude’s large, feathery body. “A vacation’s a vacation, whether there’s six of us or sixty. It’ll be fun, just go with the flow.”

Gertrude lets out an indignant hrrk but drops their tirade.

“I’m looking forward to seeing the cave,” Nieve says, “I don’t mind small groups.”

“Azuki and I are looking forward to the vacation as well,” Satsuki says, then coos in a sing-song voice, “Aren’t we, Azuki? That’s right, we’re going to a cave! You love vacations as much as I do, huh? Yes you dooo~”

Ozark isn’t sure if Satsuki’s beloved amphipod companion cares one way or another about vacations, but again: more important things on their mind. “What if we convince a few more to join us?” they propose.

“How do you plan to do that?” Nieve asks.

Ozark grins, “I’ve been working on my tier 4 magic. Maybe I can put it to the test by convincing a few more friends to join our cave adventure!”

“YES!” honks Gertrude, “How many?”

“Well, I’m pretty new at this. Mostly I’ve just been practicing by convincing a bunch of random humans at the park that they crave a good cave adventure,” Ozark chuckles. “It takes a lot of concentration, since if I lose focus the magic kind of fizzles out, but I bet I could manage uh… two, probably? Anyone have requests?”

“Pepper!” Cory blurts out. “They need more adventure in their life, man.”

“Gertrude’s the only one from Ken’s library who showed up. Why don’t we convince Honey to come along?” Satsuki suggests.

The goose logos honks in agreement, “They haven’t left the library for three WEEKS!”

“Excellent ideas all around!” Ozark nods. “Let’s see what Pepper’s up to, first.”

---

The adventuring crew finds Pepper in their usual spot, snuggled up on a beanbag chair near the mollusk section of the library.

“Um, hello?” they greet, their voice small and timid.

“Hey dude!” Cory responds.

“Greetings! We have an exciting invitation to extend to you!” Ozark announces.

“Is it about the, um… the spelunking trip?” the sea bunny logos asks. “Because um… I would rather not. Caves are… kind of scary. Sorry.”

“C’mon, bruh, you need some adventure in your life!” says Cory.

“It’ll be good for you,” Satsuki encourages.

“But it’s your choice,” Nieve adds. A sweet but utterly unhelpful sentiment.

“Sorry, um… adventure’s just not… really my thing. Sorry,” Pepper insists. “Have fun, though!”

The moment of truth is here. Ozark gathers up their willpower and magic and weaves it into their words, “You sure, little buddy? It’ll be a great chance to spend some quality time with Cory. I know you two have been wanting more activities to do together. And caves aren’t so scary once you get used to them. They’re actually really cozy. I bet you’d love the sound of trickling water echoing off the cave walls.”

“Well, um… I guess if you put it that way, it does sound… k-kind of fun,” Pepper stammers, “as long as you promise t-to go slow so I don’t get lost.”

“That’s the spirit!” Ozark says with a grin, resisting the urge to pump their fist victoriously. One down, one to go!

“Let’s go get Honey!!” honks Gertrude, making a beeline for the door as the rest of the group scrambles after them.

---

Ken’s bustling public library has a different feel than the geology section of the small natural history museum that Ozark inhabits. It’s too busy, not quiet enough to navigate with echolocation. Unfamiliar and uncomfortable. Less cave-like. But it’s a small price to pay if the can convince Honey to go spelunking with them.

They know they’ve reached Honey’s corner because they’re suddenly surrounded in the sounds of small children running and giggling and flipping pages in books. Honey’s voice is in the far back corner, reading a book about bees at an excruciatingly slow pace, constantly interrupted by tony child voices finishing their sentences for them.

Ozark intends to wait politely for them to finish, but Gertrude has other plans. They honk at the top of their lungs and charge towards their friend, feet plapping across the library floor as the children surrounding Honey scatter, “Honey!!! We’re going on a vacation and there’s nothing you can do to stop us!”

“O-h-h-h?” Honey responds in their slow, oozing voice, “that’s… nice… I hope… you have… fun.”

“I think they mean you’re coming with us,” Satsuki corrects with a fond chuckle.

“I do not… recall… signing up,” Honey replies. “Are you… certain… that you… are not… mistaken?”

“Nah, bruh, we’re here to invite you on a vacation!” Cory says. “We’re goin’ spelunking! It’ll be tons of fun, you’ll see.”

“But only if you want to,” Nieve unhelpfully reminds them.

“No… thank you...” Honey responds. “I received… the first… invitation… but I… do… not… like… caves. I… will stay… here… in my… cozy… corner… if that’s… alright… by you.”

It’s time. Ozark steps forward, mustering up every last scrap of unoccupied magic and focusing it into their words once more, “Are you sure? Caves are pretty cozy, too, y’know. And Gertrude says you haven’t been getting out much. You We’d love to have you along. Even Pepper is coming along, and I bet they’d love to have a walking buddy who goes more their pace!”

“It’s true,” Pepper pipes up, “I would, um, appreciate that. if you wanna come.”

“Well…” Honey hums thoughtfully, “I sup-pose… those… are… com-pelling… points. I do… like… cozy. And… walking… with… Pepper… sounds… fun. Perhaps… I… shall… join you.”

Gertrude lets out a gleeful honk, and Ozark reaches out to give Honey a hearty pat on the shoulder, but recoils quickly at the sticky texture of their skin, opting instead for a verbal response, “Excellent, it’ll be good to have you along! We brought along equipment to spare, so why don’t we just head straight to the cave from here?”

“O…kay…” Honey agrees.

Thank goodness, Ozark thinks to themself. The sooner the better, since they’re unsure of just how long they can keep Pepper and Honey convinced of their artificially-induced caving craving. Only time will tell!