The Fox and the Hare

   I can’t say that there’s ever been a time in my life when I felt like... this. I’ve felt lust a thousand times, but this.. this is different.

   My powers and her’s came from the same source, and in a way that made me feel closer to her from the start. White Hare was also the only one that didn’t spit on my problems and tell me to ‘get over it’ immediately after hearing about it. And surprisingly, I don’t really care about trying to get into her pants. Firstly, I don’t think I even could, but more importantly, I don’t think I can even see myself doing it after.. that. If she wanted to and was doing okay and approached me first, that would be a different story.

                         But… I really just want to help.

                                                  I just want to see her smile.

   I’ve never really been on a date before, but I’d love to take her out to the Wishing Forest and find out her favorite foods to bring. The Wish Forest was legitimately the prettiest place I’ve ever fucking seen in my life. It made me feel super happy just to be there, as stupid as that probably sounds.

   I don’t know that I’ve ever seen her genuinely smile, but after seeing what happened to her and then seeing her almost jump off the balcony I.. I don’t know what I can do. I can’t even take care of my own fucking problems, so I sure as hell can’t help somebody else’s with theirs. I can try to take her mind off of it and goof around a bit, try to listen, maybe play some cards, but that’s all the tricks I got up my sleeve. I’m no therapist, and I sure as shit wouldn’t be a good boyfriend.

                         I know I wouldn’t want to date me.

   But… maybe I should forget about this, and just try to forget about my feelings for her entirely. I really don’t want to be a replacement for Joshua, and I feel that if I were to try to be with her right now, that’s all I’d ever be. My face alone could be reminding her of Joshua and I’m so so sorry to her if it is. But even if she weren’t emotionally shitty at the moment, there’s no guarantee she’d even like me back, like, she’s definitely way out of my league. Of course I won’t try avoiding her or anything, but I’m gonna have to start reeling in my thoughts from here on out, I guess.

   Muta and I.. aren’t going to work out, for similar yet different reasons. She’s just thinking of me as a smaller version of my dad. It stings a little to put it out there like that, but I know it’s the truth. I wanted to get to know her better but after our night together.. it felt wrong. I can’t really describe it, I just didn’t like it as much as I thought I would after meeting White.

   She’s been gone with Fami and Fizz for a few days now and I’ve just been wandering around… trying to find stuff to do and trying my best not to worry about things too much. I’m supposed to be relaxing, after all- I’ve discovered some pretty great food (and sometimes free food if I mention I was that one guy that yelled over the airwaves that Sigma was dead). One of the things I’ve gotten to try here on Yeona that I didn’t get back home is some really great fucking food. I was always eating whatever I could find back then, so quality wasn’t exactly a priority for what I ate.

                         But anyways, I hope that wherever they went, 

                                                  She’s doing alright without me.