In an Instant

I taught you to walk. Your first words were "da-da". You were my light, you were my world. You were everything I held dear. Before I had you, I felt worthless. I felt no purpose to my life, I felt no joy. When your mother told me she was pregnant my entire life changed. And in an instant, you were both gone. I still dream of you, I still talk to you, I still see you, I still feel you, I still hear you. You're still here. In my head, you're still here with me...... My therapist tells me I need to move on, but how could I move on when everything that ever mattered is gone? Where do I move on to? I brought your favorite toy. She told me it would be good for me to leave it with you, might bring me "closure." Maybe she's right. Here. I put it in your mausoleum, so it won't get wet or worn. I thought I'd let you know, in case you can't see me. I brought you a rose too. Remember when we planted our rose bushes? They grew up nice and strong. It's too bad you couldn't see them, I know how you loved roses... Can you feel the cold? It snowed last night. It's the first snow of the season. It's rather windy out too. My mane is a mess right now. How is your mane coming along? Are you aging where you are, or you forever a child? ... I'm not sure what else to say.. It's hard to hold a conversation with a grave. I love you, son. I await the day I'll see you and your mother again. Goodbye for now...