Motherhood
I want nothing more than to have my own family, lots of foals and a loving mate to call my own, however with every season that passes, I have begun to lose hope that it will ever befall.
From the moment I saw my sister have her very first foal, I knew that I wanted some of my own. I've always been one to cry when seeing newborn foals pop up every spring, silently wishing I was one of the lucky mothers who got to care for them and watch them grow. I want nothing more than to have my own family, lots of foals and a loving mate to call my own, however with every season that passes, I have begun to lose hope that it will ever befall. Lottie and Sucre think otherwise, the two sweethearts always there to comfort me when a close friend announces their pregnancy. They are always there to cheer me on, setting me up on dates and doing their best to make sure my dreams come true on their own time, even if a little bit of a push is needed to get it started. They always chatter away about how cute it would be to all have children around the same age, wondering if they will be as wonderful of friends as we are or if they will forge their own paths with others of their generation. I cannot help but long for it all to become a reality, where I can be the one announcing such wonderful news.
Being a mother is an arduous task, I know, watching my sister endure her son's teenage years was a hell of a ride in itself- though I know that in the end it will be worth it when I watch my own children have foals of their own. I have always wished to have a full family tree by the time I am old and grey, and I hope that one day it will happen. Things like this take time, I understand, however when you're as impatient as I am, it cannot come fast enough. The human children I work with daily only make my baby fever worse, the cute little things struggling to keep up with my long strides when leading me to and from the training arena. It baffles me to no end how anyone wouldn't want to indulge in such a gift, however there are many of my friends that would rather look on that partake in anything to do with youngsters. Sometimes, hearts take different paths opposite of your own, and that is okay. Happiness what doing what you want and choosing your own path, not abiding by the wants and pressures of others; and after a lot of pondering, it took me a long time to realize that myself.
Spring is finally here and I am waiting with bated breath for the first foals to begin arriving. The Irish Wolfhound that loiters around the stables seems quite restless himself, coming over to me and licking my legs when I am close to his sleeping spot. Any time now, the next generation will begin, and I am so very excited to see how they grow and develop, how they try and find their place in this big and beautiful world. Maybe this year will be the moment I have been waiting for, the moment I have dreamed of since the day my nephew opened his eyes.
Maybe one day a sweet little baby will call me "momma" too.