Abraxis Missions

The young male had always known that he was different. Not in the usual, physical way. Like the ringed eyes of his uncle, or the overgrown fangs of one of the village elders. He could only wish he had an oddity such as that as a pup. The voices were far too much. Too loud, too demanding... and yet too quiet for him to understand. Too much for him to control. His sleep suffered, and many in the tribe had thought that he was stricken with madness... he didn't doubt them and feared his own madness. No one else seemed able to hear the voices, or see the movement of shadows or wisps in the corner of their eyes like he could. They all but surrounded his life. The little pup jumping and looking over when he felt something behind him only to see nothing. Or sitting with his parents during meals and answering questions or carrying an entire conversation with something invisible that wasn't there, unbeknownst to him until he realized they were looking towards him oddly. Making him bow his head and his ears lower sadly as he realized he had revealed his head sickness to them once again. It made for a very quiet, uncertain pup. Abraxis spending much of his time alone. The other pups barely even willing to tease him for fear that he would give his madness to one of them instead... he so very often wished he could. Get rid of this sickness. It was terrifying, loud, and made everyone fear him... he couldn't blame them. He feared it as well... knowing you were plagued with a madness of the mind was terrifying.

None the less, his parents did what they could. Loved him, and tended to him. Hoping against hope that he would grow out of it, or at least learn to live with it in a way that made him seem normal... He appreciated them all the more knowing they loved and cared for him anyways. So often he had searched for solace in their arms, curling against the warm and comforting fur of their embrace during the nights when the voices got too loud. Too overbearing for him to take and handle. He hated it. He hated the madness that plagued him. Always feeling as though he was somehow disappointing his parents, and he so badly wanted to make them proud of him. To be normal and not brain addled. But still they loved him, cherished him, and tended to him, preparing him and teaching him to survive the world alone when it would be time for his Rite like any other parent.

He tried to ignore it as he learned how to survive, doing what he could to block out the voices, the specters. Doing his best to learn and help out and find a place that would suit him within a tribe for when he grew and found one as best he could. For a while it had seemed to work. His focus of drowning out the voices, the sounds of sadness and anger died down... at least when he was awake. All that was left was his dreams. The time he couldn't block them out, couldn't push them away or ignore them. The time when his mind was open to their abuses. It was a near nightly occurrence that the pup would wake up wailing in sadness, or fear, or both. The voices that he had drowned out during the day overwhelming him while he slept. Every night his parents had to hold onto the shivering and shaking pup, burying his face in his parents' fur and apologizing to them for being so crazy, knowing he disturbed their own sleep as much as his. But they only shushed him, smoothing soft fingers through his mane and pressing their foreheads together. His tail swaying in comfort as he clung to them.

The days however seemed better at least, and were it not for the terror of the nights, he would have even seemed like a normal pup. Many of the other pups tentatively starting to talk, and even play with him, even if he was a little bit odd still, no one seemed to fear his crazy any longer, which only brought the young male more out of his shell and happy to finally feel included and like he had a place. His parents too relaxed. Even if they all dreaded the coming night with every day. But it seemed there was nothing that could be done about it, and Abraxis learned to deal with it as best he could. The pleads for help, the wails of pain. The feeling of anger, of being lost... being stuck. Much like he secretly felt, even as he knew these feelings in his sleep weren't his own. They were the thoughts, feelings, memories of others. They terrified the pup more then anything else. More and more, it was secretly starting to become too much for him...

Then it happened. His parents leaving for a hunt, but only one returned alive. His mother returning with a stump of an arm and a savage rake against her side. Her mate, his father, dead and ravaged by a giant grinner that had burst from the water, taking their kill, and many of the hunters' lives, including his fathers. His mother having to be carried back half dead, bleeding, rambling incoherently about the great beast. That he had to be saved. That she had to defend her mate at all costs. They had to let her go, because she had to save him... Her pleas all refused. Abraxis held back and away so that they could tend to his mother in peace without a lost and confused pup tripping over them. 

The screams of his mother and the scent of burnt flesh as they seared her wounds closed would forever be ingrained into.his mind until the day he died he was sure. Such pained and desperate screams. A howl for death, for the pain to stop, to let her go. Burned into his mind, his memory just like his mothers flesh had been burned. Her wounds awful, and deadly. A fever setting in despite all of the work the healers had done... Now it was in the moons embrace on weather she would make it through. 

She never made it to her mates funeral.

Abraxis remained at his mothers side faithfully. Both day and night, tending to her wounds, feeding her broth from a cloth by dripping it into her mouth. Anything he could do to help her, and to let her know he was there. That she wasn't alone in the world at all, and that she was still loved, still cherished... still had something worth living for. The healers having given up hope on her, but the young pup refused. He would not lose his mother too, no matter what it took to save her, he would do it. Nothing else mattered. Not the specters, not the voices... not even one that crossed his vision that made him still and freeze. That made his fur stand on end and looked a little too familiar...

Finally, after several hopeless months, his mothers fever broke. Starting to heal and come back to the land of the living, back to him... but much diminished. The loss of her mate was a heavy toll upon her, as was the loss of her arm. Oftentimes the young pup saw her writhing and crying because of an itch she simply could not scratch, feelings of pain or an ache from a limb that was simply no longer there anymore, unable to do anything about it or ease the phantom ailment. He did all he could to comfort her and give her solace, but he feared that it wouldn't be enough... even more, he feared telling her the truth... No, he couldn't tell her anything of the sort. All the little pup could do was his best to comfort her, and let her know someone was still there that loved and needed her. As time would pass, it would work. She still had him, and he let her know as often as possible.

But for now, the little pup would crawl up into his mothers side, nosing her neck fluff before gently pressing his forehead to hers in a show of love and affection. "It will be alright mama." he promised her, curling himself up against her, hugging her gently, careful not to harm her or the bandages that covered her ravaged flesh. "We'll make it through this, right?" he asked, looking up towards her, wide eyes filled with concern and worry, his young voice still high and having its chirp like quality to it. For a moment, the female looked to her pup, and for the first time in a while, seemed to really see him through her haze of sadness and devastation. So young, and yet already so aged. In just a few short years, her poor, young son would end up going out for his Rite to fend for himself, where he'd have no parents to waken or silence his tears and cries of fear with his odd dreams...

She relaxed a little and gave a soft smile, reaching out with the arm she had left and gently stroked one side of his back. "Of course, my sweet." she promised him, wrapping around him protectively in the way she often had whenever he was upset and in need of comfort. And he did... she could only guess just how badly needed it was, but the poor pup had been through more then some, and he had taken up a role that was far too much for one still so young... she couldn't give up and abandon him now.  

Abraxis gave a soft, gentle smile and nodded, snuggling gently against her once more and relaxed within her grasp, for the first time in months, the pup felt safe and secure, and like things just might end up being okay. The small male falling asleep in the embrace of his mother, the strong beat of her heart lulling him to a peaceful and quiet sleep. He would worry about telling her the truth later. When she was ready. But not now. Now was the time for rest, for comfort, safety and sleep. For the first time in a vary long time, the small pup would sleep peacefully, without nightmares or waking in terror in the middle of the night from the voices. A familiar, strong voice taking the place of all the others and comforting in his time of slumber.