Mistakes

“Lance please just stay and listen to me. Please.” Deirdre pleaded for the brunet to stay. He always left after Deirdre would be serious or bring up something he didn’t want to talk about. But they had to talk about the elephant in the room.

“Dede listen. I have to go. We can talk tomorrow.”

She groaned and rubbed her forehead.

“What are you scared about? Commitment? The fact I had your child and that you aren’t a part of her life?”

“Don’t you dare start analyzing me. I’m not a client of yours. I’m your fuck buddy.”

“Lance I hate to say this but you aren’t a fuck buddy. You are literally the father of my child. And I’m trying to tell you about her. For once do you want to listen and hear about your daughter or will you run away like always.”

“I’m sorry Dee. But I got to go. Really. You can tell me about her over text.I just have to go.”

Deirdre was frustrated as he left. Tears flowed down her cheeks as she collapsed onto the ground. She sobbed to herself in her empty room. Where she thought things would finally change.

He wasn’t going to change. She had to stop seeing him. But.. She loved him so much. Her clutched her chest as it felt like she was going to have her heart break into a thousand pieces right there.

She did the only thing she could think of at the moment and just cried it out. She would call him later and tell him all about Ide and how she was crawling and started to get used to her own feet. She was so proud of herself for raising that baby on her own. Even if she had help from her family- Deirdre was mostly on her own. And it was hard. It was so damn hard to not see her child all the time. She had to work to make sure they stayed afloat.

Part of her wanted to move back home and work at the family shop. Just so she had help with Ide. She loved her job but between Lance’s issues and him leaving often, Ide and her needs as a baby and the emotional baggage that she carried from the accident… She needed a break here soon or she would burn out fast.

She heard a key inserting into the door and the front door slowly started to creak open. Deirdre never swore really. She didn’t like doing it. But right now she didn’t care about anything else but the string of curse words coming out of her mouth as she frantically tried to look presentable. No red eyes from crying or a runny nose. And actual clothing..

She got dressed and walked out to the living room of her apartment to see her younger sister standing there, admiring the decor that Deirdre recently got.

Kinsley turned around with a wide smile that fell quickly. “He was here? That piece of trash.” She muttered, going up to her big sister and wrapping her arms around her tight.

“He’s not that bad Kinsley..He may start fights with you guys but he-”

“He doesn't care about you Dede. He doesn’t care about you or Ide at all. Why the fuck are you still with him?”

Deirdre pulled away and looked at the ground.

“I … I don’t know. He cares. In his own way. He sends us money now and then for Ide. He cares…. I.. “ She broke into tears again , making Kinsley frown.

She knew she messed up. Deirdre knew she and Lance were a mistake. But Ide came from that mistake and how could she just reject the father of her child from coming over? Kinsley looked pissed. She growled and stormed out of the apartment. “Where are you son of a bitch?” she shouted. Making Deirdre laugh a little bit. Her siblings she knew she could count on.

She could always count on family. Even when she couldn’t count on herself.