Fading Shades of Purple

Knock knock.

Alpha rocked back and forth on his feet a little as he stood in front of Omega's door, the events of the past week playing themselves out again in his mind. He knew they needed to talk, but it was hard to catch Omega when he was actually in his room.

And perhaps now he knew why, he thought grimly.

The door clicked as it was unlocked from the other side, and it opened just enough that Alpha could see Omega's face. He grinned sheepishly, raising a hand, but he didn't doubt that his stress showed plainly on his face.

"...Hey, Alpha."

"Hey. Ah, I know you're probably tired, but I was wondering if you have a moment to talk." Alpha couldn't help slumping a little. "But, ah, if you'd rather not that's fine, I'm not going to force you."

Omega's gaze fell to the floor for a moment, and Alpha thought he caught the slightest hint of a sigh before Omega stepped back, opening the door and backing further into the room. Alpha took the silent invitation, closing the door carefully behind him as he entered.

The room itself was fairly plain, a little out of order since Omega was always so busy, but this time he noted a fine layer of dust that seemed to have settled over everything. The room was used far less than he had thought, and he'd already thought it wasn't used frequently.

Omega stood by the window, the purple 'flames' on his head flickering in the last of the sun's rays as the world outside began to quiet. Alpha took in a bit of a breath, steeling his nerves for what needed to be said.

"...I'm sorry, I don't really want to take up too much of your time, so I'll try to keep this brief."

Omega said nothing, just continued to stare out the window. He looked absolutely exhausted. Maybe a little apathetic, too. Why hadn't he noticed it before?

"I'm not going to ask you about that other timeline, you don't need to tell us every detail of your private life, you can do what you want and I have no right to snoop." Alpha started, fidgeting with his hands in his pocket as he tried not to choke on the rising feelings of anxiety.

"But... he did tell me that you started going there because you were stressed and needed a place to vent. And that is my concern."

Alpha took a step closer, spreading his palms in a placating gesture. He wished he could see Omega's face to determine how he was reacting to this, but he suspected that Omega was facing away from him on purpose.

"If this is too stressful on you, then surely there's something we can do to reduce your workload. I know it's, ah, something pretty unique that you're doing, but we only have one of you, and if you burn yourself out then that's not good for anyone, least of all you." He paused, his voice suddenly becoming more quiet and reserved. "Hell, I'd rather you quit of your own accord than run yourself completely ragged and have to quit because you physically can't do it anymore."

Omega shifted in place a little, his arms, which were already crossed, folding a little tighter. "...I'm fine, I can take care of myself. I do appreciate your concern, but the issue is not what you think, and I'm doing my best to handle it."

Alpha felt his stomach drop, and bowed his head. "...I'm sorry. I know I'm probably the last person you want trying to get close to you after... how I hurt you." Shame burned on his cheekbones as he began to turn for the door. "...I just... feel like it's my responsibility to make sure you're ok, since you and I are running this whole thing. But..." He shivered.

"You don't seem like you want that from me, so I should leave you be. I'm sorry if I've come across as insensitive."

He only managed one step before Omega cut him off.

"Alpha."

Alpha paused, unable to speak or look back at the other version of himself.

"...This is all much more complex than even you realize." Omega's voice was tense. "It's not as simple as me holding a grudge just because you hurt me. Everything I'm able to feel is so tangled up right now."

Alpha turned slightly, meeting Omega's very serious, very guarded gaze. Just behind it something burned, some secret desperate to get out.

"I don't know what I want right now." He raised a finger to cut off anything Alpha might say. "No. Do not take that as a negative answer. If I didn't want to be around you, I would tell you. I truly don't know yet, and that's all I can give you for now."

Alpha faltered for a few moments, trying to form some sort of response, but he could feel his guilt crushing him more and more with each passing second. "...But, I did this to you. You wouldn't be in this position at all if I hadn't-"

"Alpha," Omega interrupted firmly, "I know that. It's true that's a part of it. But not as much as you think."

Omega's hands clenched where they were gripping his arms, and he spoke slowly, choosing every word carefully. "...If you knew what I've seen out there, you would understand." He lifted his head a little to look at the first few stars appearing in the evening sky. "I can't even begin to describe to you how vast the multiverse is, and all of its infinite complexities." His voice fell until it was barely above a whisper, and Alpha had to strain to hear. "And what I've seen is only a tiny speck, it just goes on and on and on..."

The flame on his head sputtered slightly as he shuddered. "...If you stare into the multiverse long enough, it stares back into you."

The silence seemed to stretch out as Omega searched for the right words. "...And it fills you with despair."

Glowing tears ran down his cheeks as he looked over his shoulder at Alpha; fear, hopelessness, and grief twisting together into an awful sight that made Alpha's soul ache.

"Creatures like you and I weren't meant to travel freely through the multiverse, Alpha. We're meant to stay in our timelines, and live out our finite lives without knowing what's beyond. But now I know." His voice shook, and his hands clenched tighter, clearly trying and failing to hide that they were shaking badly. "I know, and I can't tell anyone without dragging them down with me. Nothing can fix this; it isn't the workload, it isn't you making me upset, it's the nature of the multiverse itself. But I can't take back the knowledge, stopping now wouldn't help anything."

Alpha's head swam as he struggled to understand, his mind clouded as he fought to keep himself from breaking down into tears mirroring Omega's. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't realize-"

Omega shook his head. "You couldn't have known, none of you could. This is my burden to bear, and... I will get through it." He reached up with a hand to try and stem the flow of tears, only really succeeding in soaking his sleeve in the glowing purple liquid. "I just... I need time to figure all this out. A lot has happened, and there's... a very complex knot of emotions right at the heart of it. I don't know what I want yet, I really, really don't, but I'm trying to figure it out."

He met Alpha's eyes, and Alpha thought he saw some desperation under the sorrow. "Please, I'm sorry I have to ask you to wait, I want to give you a real answer but I need time to answer your question truthfully."

Alpha felt tears well up as he nodded, despite his efforts to keep them down. "...Of course I'll wait. You're under so much pressure that I can't even begin to understand, and I want to be here to help and support you in the best way I can, not make it worse. Take the time you need, and when you have an answer, I'll accept it no matter which way it goes."

Omega closed his eyes, taking in a deep, shuddering breath, then letting it out. "...Thank you."

Alpha nodded again, his voice quiet. "If you need me, you know where to find me."

He glanced back as he left, taking note of the state of the room and his friend. Omega was staring back out the window, outline framed by the fading shades of purple outside as the world slipped into a peaceful nighttime. His head and shoulders slumped with the weight of the responsibilities he had and the knowledge he held, and as he pulled the door shut, Alpha wondered how he'd missed the signs for so long.