All The Things That Made Me: Kamariya
Starlit was the dullened eyes of the toskal known as Kamariya as she peacefully sat at the mouth of a cavern, above her the moon shone brightly, having illuminated and accentuated her beauty and elegance for peeping eyes to see. In the darkness of the cave systems, Kamariya was a shadow, for her eyes did not reflect the smallest hint of light as the eyes of her fellow toskals did, she simply wasn’t born as they had been, her eyes only carried the shadows that snuffed out the light. But, with the moon before her, surrounded by the countless stars that dotted the midnight skies, even she held a reflection, although dull. A muscle in her right cheek twitched as her ivory lips pulled into a ghost of a smile, her paws massaging the tip of her thick tail that laid over her legs, similar to a heated and weighted blanket. She was proud of herself, it had been multiple sunrises since she had guided her little band of nomads to the tribe known as Yildun, a place that she could feel accepted and safe, for many winters in the cold, fighting to keep her group alive when she had promised them sanctuary in their path between their past and future, but there was only so much that she could do, and with a pup on the way, she had to choose. To remain a guardian for the lost, or to finally settle down, and provide an actual home for her family, whether it be blood or otherwise.
But, that was the present, and Kamariya couldn’t help but recall what was once the past.
Squealing was the first thing she had heard, followed by comforting whispers of Marama, her best friend and close confidant, her second in all matters. Covered in sweat that stuck to her pelt, thick and harsh scented, Kamariya was dazed as her sensitive ears picked up the sound of rustling as a toskal rose to their full height, shuffling around in the grass as the exhausted new mother felt all ounce of energy sap from her very being. “My pup…” Barely managing to breathe out her words, her voice was scratchy and her throat was drier than the desert. “Please, I want my pup.” Once more she pleaded, even though she was too exhausted to even manage to get air into her lungs. Her only thought was of her pup, who she had carried within her all this time, feeling each shift and kick of it’s strong legs. But finally, it was here, and the labour was so immensely difficult that Kamariya hadn’t expected it. It was her first time, and the only experienced mother the group had with them, had left three moon cycles ago.
“Shh, Kam. Hala is cleaning your pup.” Soft was the voice of Marama, who wiped the sweat from Kamariya’s forehead with damp moss from an old oak tree nearby. Kamariya exhaled a sigh of relief, knowing that her pup was in the paws of her younger sister, who would tear the fangs from any creature that dared to lay a nail on her niece or nephew, she had been just as excited for the pup as Kamariya herself was, all were relishing in the blessing of the new life, praising the moon for it had surely gifted their leader with a healthy and beautiful young pup. That was when the scent of a newborn tickled at her nostrils, and the eyes that were lulling closed immediately snapped open, locking onto the small bundle that was curled up within the purple arms of her brute sister, Hala, whose eyes glistened with mirth and her smile simply couldn’t get any bigger. Trying to push herself up into a better sitting position, Kamariya hissed when pain shot through her lower abdomen. “Easy!” Marama scolded as she gripped Kamariya’s shoulders, but the stubborn alpha ignored her best friend, as long arms reached out for her pup. “Hala, my pup.” Kamariya’s gaze held true to the bright orbs of her sister, as Hala immediately lowered her head and passed the pup over. “It’s a boy.” Hala informed her kin, before smiling toward Marama whose eyes lit up as the little pup was brought closer to her as Kamariya brought the pup to her chest.
“My male.” Kamariya whispered, her eyes growing soft as her soft palms ran over the mane that travelled down his spine, pride glowing in those dull eyes. “He’s perfect.” Stuttering through her shaky breath, tracing each feature of his face with the pad of her fingers, memorizing each ridge and tuft of fur with both touch and vision. Smiling, she gently ran her fingers over where his horns were but the smallest of nubs. “An alpha?” Her eyes flicked to Hala, who was wiping away her tears. Kamariya hadn’t seen Hala cry, not since she was a newborn herself, even as a pup she would bite her tongue to prevent tears from escaping. Her eyes lowered once more to her son, her gaze softening immediately. Kamariya was mateless, but she was certain that she would give this male all she could, and together with her bonded family, they would raise him just as well as any mated pair could.
"What will you name him?" Marama asked, causing Kamariya to tilt her head to the dark female, whose pelt was spotted with white similar to snow on a dark night, she was beautiful and fearless, a worthy second. "Well, his father was named Azazel." Murmured the mother, as she felt the small male wiggle around, curling up into the warmth of her chest, his little paws clasping onto her fur as he got himself comfortable, settling down and finding himself growing sleepy as he was held close to the heartbeat of his mother. Twitching her ears, Kamariya stroked along the tufts of mane that lined the small of his back, inspecting his tail and weaving it around one of her paws. "How about Enoch?" Kamariya glanced toward both females as she suggested what she'd like to name her new male. "I love it." Hala immediately chipped in, and Marama nodded her approval as well. Rumbling happily, Kamariya tilted her head down and touched her forehead to the forehead of her male, an expression of love and dedication from mother to pup.
"Welcome to the family, my son." Kamariya whispered to her male, the pride in her eyes absolute as she held him, she felt as if the entirety of the world was so small within the palms of her hands. She would never let anything hurt him, not a singular hair upon his tiny little head would be touched in a way of ill intent. She would rip fangs, tear ears and shock anyone to death if they even dared. He was her male, her prized son, her firstborn, and she would break both of her beautiful horns to save him.
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"Mama!" Chirped a familiar voice, and Kamariya snapped out of her memories, as her handsome son came bounding toward her on uneasy feet. "Look! Look! Auntie Marama found me this!" His little paws immediately jutted out right under her nose, and Kamariya smiled as her son showed her a beautiful shell that he had been given. "Auntie Marama got it from a trader from another tribe! For you, mama!" Grinning, the male opened her paws, to place the seashell in her palms, bright ivory with hints of a magnificent sapphire around the edges, spotting into the centre. "Oh, I love it, Enoch!" Smiling, Kamariya rose to her feet, dipping her paws under his arms and picking him up, bringing her toddler to her chest. "Thank you." Little paws grasped her cheeks, and Kamariya allowed her son to pull her head down to touch his forehead to her own, as her small male expressed his love and dedication between son and mother.