Insecurities

Tobin sat alone in his apartment, his arm in a sling due to an ill-thought-out stage dive from the weekend prior. He couldn't exactly spin records with his arm in a cast, so he had been told to stay home and get some rest. Rest wasn't something that came easily to the high energy young man. If anything, staying home was making him restless.

He sat in his brand new apartment full of brand new furniture, his leg bouncing incessantly as he scrolled through his phone. The apartment was quiet. He had tried to invite friends over but everyone was busy. It was the weekend. No one would want to stay in if they could be out having fun. The feed on his social media was people out having fun, people from his school days were really hamming it up, most of them having added him to their "friends" list due to his connections to Club X. None of these knittens were his friends. Did he even have any friends?

He sucked air through his teeth and closed the ap on his phone and tossed it just out of reach. He felt like he was going crazy.

Tobin got up off the couch and started pacing. Of course, he was alone. No one really liked having him around. He was beginning to think that it was a matter of time before even Xavier was bored of him. That though especially made his chest ache and he huffed as he marched his way over to a bunch of framed photographs that he had out to knock them over.

"Ain't got nobody but yourself, Tobin," he muttered under his breath and went back to pacing as he scratched above the cast on his arm.

He kicked at a spray can that was laying on the floor. It rolled across the ground with a metallic whine before the roll was stopped prematurely from hitting the wall. He blinked and looked to where he kicked the can and there stood Xavier.

"You didn't answer the text I sent and I got worried," Xavier said, his head tilted some. He had bag full of take-out and a six-pack of Tobin's preferred pop on one side and the spare key Tobin had given him when he moved into his new place held in his other hand.

Tobin blinked at him in confusion. "I thought you'd be at the club all night."

"That's the cool thing about owning the club, I can choose to take a night off," Xavier replied and carried the food over to the coffee table to set it down before going over to the shorter knitten for a kiss. "I missed you, so I thought I'd bring you something to eat. Broken bones suck."

Tobin's ears twitched a bit at the 'I missed you,' as he leaned up into the kiss. "You missed me, huh?"

"I did." Xavier smiled down at him, cupping his face. "What have you been up to?"

Tobin shrugged and watched as the taller Knitten moved away to the kitchen for plates. "Sitting here doing fuck all."

"Well, now I'm here to cheer you up," Xavier beamed at him.

Tobin didn't smile back. "You're not tired of me, yet?"

Xavier paused in what he was doing to give him a look of concern. "Pardon?"

The younger man crossed his arms as best he could with one in a cast. "Either you're playing with my head or you're expecting something more out of this if you're not bored of me yet. We've been fooling around for what? Four... Five months now?"

Xavier frowned and set the plates on the counter. "You're angry and I'm not exactly sure why."

"Either you're real mean and are just stringing me along for the fun of it, or you feel sorry for the stupid street kid, which is it?" Tobin rolled his jaw, his dark green eyes set on the older knitten.

"Toby, I would never do something like that to you," Xavier replied and walked back to the younger man. "Where's this coming from, babe?"

Tobin flinched away from Xavier's outreached hand. His ears were flicked back and he was blinking away hot, angry tears.

"Nobody sticks around this long," he muttered under his breath. "Ain't got nobody but myself."

"Oh, babe," Xavier frowned and pulled him into his arms and kissed the top of his head. "That isn't how things are anymore. The only way you're getting rid of me is if you don't want me around anymore."

Tobin was shaking against the taller knitten. He took a breath in and it caught in his throat.

"Everyone gets annoyed of me eventually," He managed to croak out as he tried to pull the mask back up as it was cracking.

"The people who got annoyed of you were just too stupid to get to know you," Xavier replied and leaned back, cupping the younger man's face with both of his hands. "You are extraordinary and bright. You have been so broken down that you can't see it but I sure as hell am not going to leave you if I don't have to."

Tobin wrinkled his nose and sniffed a bit. Xavier leaned down and kissed away his tears before kissing all over the younger knitten's face. The kisses brought a light laugh bubbling out of the deer man and he stepped into Xavier's embrace, his face pressing against his chest.

"There we go," Xavier smiled and kissed the top of Tobin's head between his antlers. "I promise I won't get bored of you, Toby. You're just too damn cute for that."

Tobin made a face and leaned back, sticking his tongue out at him. "You just like me for my looks."

Xavier laughed. "Babe, I like you for all of you. You're a stupendously talented musician and artist. You're spunky and spontaneous. You keep me on my toes."

The smaller man leaned against the taller one and let out a sigh. "I'm sorry I'm being dumb."

"You got lonely, it happens. I promise you that, at the very least, I'm not going anywhere. I don't think your friends are, either." Xavier smiled and pulled Tobin back toward the couch. "Sit down and let's eat. You probably haven't eaten all day, knowing you."

Tobin blushed a bit and shrugged a little. "Knowing me..."

Tobin settled onto the couch and leaned against Xavier when he joined him with the plates. There was a moment of quiet between them as they shared a meal. Tobin came to the realization that Xavier did know him pretty well. They hadn't been dating terribly long, but Xavier made an effort to learn about Tobin where other relationships were more about using Tobin. And he wasn't the only person in his life that was doing that.

He leaned a little bit more on Xavier. "Thank you."

Xavier smiled and kissed cheek. "You're welcome. I will try my best to remind you every chance I get that you are loved and wanted."

Tobin had a little bit of a flutter in his chest and he smiled some at that last bit. "Thank you, X."

Tobin kissed his boyfriend and settled into a much brighter evening than the one he started in. Sure, his friends were busy that night, but they were actually his friends. He got several texts through the night checking in on him from several people who had grown close to. 

Xavier gave him a sly, knowing smile because he could tell that the texts were making his small boyfriend happy.  He sent a message to some of Tobin's friends to get them to come over and ordered more food. After about an hour, the apartment wasn't so quiet anymore as a few of Tobin's friends showed up. The evening was quickly turned around for the smaller knitten.

His earlier restlessness was forgotten and his insecurities quieted for the moment.