first bonds

It isn’t uncommon for children brought to the Jedi Order to have a difficult adjustment period. Some come from traumatic backgrounds, memories of slavery or the deaths of loved ones fresh in this minds, and other still simply miss their parents and their old lives. During these times, it is important for more experienced Jedi Masters to coach them, to teach them how to let go of their emotions and begin their first steps in the Light.

However, this wasn’t something that Meetra Pyrrik ever had personal experience with.

Meetra, herself, was one of the rare Jedi brought to the Order as a baby. Somewhere in the galaxy, she knew, she had family - parents, possibly even siblings - but it wasn’t something that she spent a great deal of time thinking about. She could not remember the like of a mother’s warmth, or what it was like to seek a father’s approval.

Which was why she was surprised when Master Kavar asked her to support a new initiates adjustment.

She voiced her doubts, expressing that she did not have the experience, that she could not possibly understand what it felt like to leave one’s family behind, but Kavar had asked her to just try, and… well, Meetra may not know what it felt like to seek a father’s approval, but she knew well the feeling of wishing to seek Kavar’s approval.

So she agreed to try.

.

The initiate was sitting by the fountain, watching the water with intense concentration. Meetra stayed at the edge of the courtyard for a moment, watching silently, before walking over and sitting beside her. The younger girl looked up, her concentration broken by the intrusion.

“Hey there,” Meetra greeted with a smile, “I’m Meetra.”

The girl looked at her with a frown. “You’re Master Kavar’s Padawan.”

“Uh- no. I’m still just an initiate, like you!”

“Then why are you always following him around?”

Meetra blinked. This wasn’t how she had planned for this conversation to go. “You’re… quite observant, aren’t you?”

“If you say so. I thought it was obvious.” The girl looked back at the fountain.

“So, uh…” Meetra began awkwardly, trying to work out how to get the conversation back to where she wanted it to go. “What’s your name?”

“Didn’t Master Kavar tell you?” The girl asked, “I mean, he is the one who asked you to talk to me, right?”

“He did ask me to talk to you, but he only told me your second name - Shan, right? - I could use that, but… it’s a little weird, don’t you think?”

“I guess.” Shan paused, “But I’m still not telling you my first name.”

“What? Why not?”

“Why should I? I didn’t ask you to come here and talk to me. I don’t see why I should have to tell some stranger my name just because she’s a Jedi. We’re not friends, and I just want to be left alone for once.”

Meetra was surprised by the fire behind Shan’s words. Displays of emotion like that were uncommon at the Enclave, and even Meetra with her unpolished skills in the Force could feel the turmoil within the younger girl. Shan, Meetra was quickly realising, was in a lot of pain.

“...You’re right.” Meetra spoke after a moment. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude. I’ll go now.”

As Meetra left the courtyard, she could feel Shan’s eyes watching her.

.

Meetra had promised Kavar that she would try to help the Initiate - and she had tried. She had tried, and she had failed, and that should be that. Kavar would not be disappointed in her, Meetra knew. But, for some reason, she just couldn’t let it go.

Originally, she had just wanted to be praised by Kavar, but the more she thought of the anger that had shown in Shan’s words, the more disturbed she became.

The Masters had told Meetra before, at length, of the dangers of such emotions. Anger could lead to the Dark Side. It was a basic lesson. However, despite knowing this, it wasn’t the threat of the Dark Side that caused Meetra concern in this situation.

What concerned Meetra was the simple fact that Shan seemed lost.

It wasn’t a feeling that Meetra could relate to. Meetra had been surrounded by the Jedi for as long as she could remember. Whenever she had problems, she knew who she could turn to, where she could go. Shan had said that they weren’t friends and, perhaps, for her that had been true - but for Meetra, every Jedi was her friend, even those that she had not yet met.

It was settled, then, Meetra decided. If Shan needed support - if she needed a friend - then Meetra would work to become what she needed.

.

The next time that Meetra saw Shan, she was sat watching the fountain again. Meetra approached, but stayed standing this time.

“Do you mind if I sit with you?” She asked.

Shan shrugged. “Do what you want.”

Meetra sat, and looked into the water. “Do you want to see something cool?”

“...Okay.”

Meetra shut her eyes and focused on her breathing. Then, she held her hand out, and reached out with the Force, lifting droplets of water from the fountain and manipulating them into different patterns in the air. When she was satisfied that her show had gone on for long enough, she lowered the water back into the fountain, taking care not to let it splash up and soak herself or Shan.

When she opened her eyes again, Shan was looking at her.

“Master Vrook says that the Force shouldn’t be used for frivolities.” Shan said.

Meetra leaned in and spoke with a conspiratorial tone, “I don’t normally listen to Master Vrook.”

“...Neither do I.” Shan admitted with the closest thing to a smile that Meetra had seen from her.

The tension between them began to crumble, and Meetra found herself beginning to relax. Maybe this was doable, after all.

“So, how come you’re always sitting here?” Meetra asked, deciding to keep the conversation on more neutral ground for now.

“I’m not allowed to leave the Enclave without supervision yet. I think they’re afraid I’ll run away if they let me out of their sights.” Shan scowled, “Everywhere else here feels too… um… too…”

“Jedi?” Meetra supplied.

“...Yeah.”

When Shan didn’t expand, Meetra was content to let the silence stretch. She wouldn’t force a conversation, she decided. If Shan wanted to talk, then they could, but for now, just offering silent solidarity would be enough.

.

It became something of a routine, to sit by the fountain with Shan when she didn’t have lessons or other duties. Sometimes, they would talk about little things - their shared annoyances with Vrook, or anecdotes from their lessons - but most of the time they just sat with each other. The more time that Meetra spent with Shan, the more centered she could feel the other girl growing, but there was still something restless inside of her.

Something that continued to distress Shan, and by extension Meetra, was the fact that the Masters still had not given her permission to leave the Enclave.

She had brought her concerns to Kavar, but he had only told her that some of the other Masters had concerns about Shan, and wanted to keep an eye on her. He admitted that he thought the smothering of Shan would be more likely to have negative consequences - but he had been out-voted, and so he had to back down.

And, then, he had turned his back on Meetra to retrieve a Datapad from the table behind him.

Meetra wasn’t the biggest fan of breaking the rules, and she especially did not enjoy risking disappointing Kavar. However, as she thought back to how miserable Shan was while she was restricted to the Enclave, she found herself gaining the confidence to use the Force and will Kavar’s masterkey towards her, closing her fist around it right as Kavar turned back around to face her.

She said her goodbyes to Kavar and hurried off on her way, feeling her heart hammering in her chest as she walked away, oblivious to the satisfied expression on Kavar’s face as he watched her.

.

It was past dark when Meetra carefully crept through Shan’s dorm, keeping her footsteps light to avoid waking any of the other Initiates. When she reached Shan’s bed, she sent a pulse through the Force towards her. Shan stirred, rolling over and blinking up at Meetra curiously.

Meetra pressed her finger to her lip, then mimed for Shan to follow her as she crept out of the dorm again. Shan hesitated for a moment, before following.

When the door shut quietly behind them, Shan turned to Meetra and whispered, “What are you doing?”

Meetra smiled and displayed the masterkey, “You wanted to go outside, right?”

“Wh- what?” Shan squeaked, “Did you… did you steal that?”

“Well, yes, but… I think that the Masters are wrong, and… as Jedi, we are supposed to do what we think is right.”

“We are going to get into so much trouble.”

“You can go back to sleep if you would like. I do have something that I’d like to show you, but I won’t make you come. We can wait until the Master’s say it’s okay.”

“...But… who knows when that will be…” Shan seemed conflicted, biting on her bottom lip lightly. “...Okay. Just… as long as we’re back before anyone notices.”

Meetra grinned. “Come on, then.”

.

The pair made their way through the Enclave silently, feeling their way using the Force in the dark. Sneaking about like this was nerve-wracking, but also exciting, to Meetra. Shan stayed close behind her, glancing around nervously every now and then, but there was a determined glint to her eyes that made it clear that she didn’t regret her decision to follow Meetra.

The door to leave the Enclave opened for them, thanks to the stolen masterkey, and then began the trek across the fields of Dantooine.

Shan walked a few paces behind Meetra, staring at the sky with wide eyes. The two moons and thousands of stars in the sky made quite the breathtaking sight, but Meetra was sure that Shan would find what she was going to show her all the more amazing.

After a half hour of walking, they reached the cave, and Meetra hesitated by the entrance.

“Okay… I can’t sense anything in there, which means the Kinrath are out hunting.”

“Wh- Kinrath!? Are you trying to get us killed!?”

“Don’t worry, I’ve done this many times.” Meetra reassured her, “And I’ve got my lightsaber.”

Shan looked down at Meetra’s belt, noticing it for the first time. “Do you… even know how to fight?”

“I know some things.” Meetra replied, not inspiring confidence. “Just… trust me. This will be worth it.”

Shan wore a skeptical expression, but she gave a quick nod and followed Meetra into the cave.

The cave was pitch black, and Meetra ignited her lightsaber with one hand, letting the cave shine with green light, and reaching back to take Shan’s hand with her own free hand. Shan held on to Meetra, letting her guide the way through the cave.

A minute or two passed until they reached the opening, and Meetra let her lightsaber power down as the opening was already lit by moonlight shining in from the open ceiling.

Behind her, Shan stepped out and stopped when she saw the cave, her eyes growing wide. The light from the room shone down on crystal formations, sending beautiful colours bouncing around and off the walls. Even better, for Jedi like Meetra and Shan, was the resonance of the crystals in the Force, humming pleasantly and surrounding them with warmth.

“It’s…” Shan breathed, trying to take in everything at once.

“Right?” Meetra smiled, “Every initiate finds their way here eventually. We aren’t supposed to show you the way here, but… well, I won’t tell the Masters if you don’t.”

Shan began to walk around the cave, inspecting the crystals with that awed expression on her face and, Meetra realised, that for the first time since they had met her presence in the Force felt balanced.

After a few minutes of silence ticked by, Shan stood up straight, turned to face Meetra, and stuck out her hand.

“Bastila Shan.” She said.

Meetra blinked. “Huh?”

“W-well, when we first met, you wanted to know my name. I… figured you would have just asked Master Kavar, that’s why I never told you, but… um…” She trailed off, a light blush appearing on her face

Meetra laughed, “Oh! That.” She accepted Bastila’s hand, shaking it firmly, “I’m Meetra Pyrrik. It is a pleasure to meet you, Bastila Shan.”