↠ Envy

Alec knew what envy was.

It felt like a cracked dam, the water rising and beating continuously until the inevitable came, and the concrete could no longer withstand the weight. Until all the contents overflowed, like the hounding anger that festered inside him.

It was an anger so inescapable, so human, that it made him wish to spit upon the polished boots of those that had caused him so much emotion. To live without the beating of a heart, or feel scarlet touch fawn skin like it had so many moons ago. A longing so strong, some nights he thinks his immortal chest still aches as it once could.

It appeared like that of a young man, dressed in green uniform and painted with his own blood. Green eyes that lack their once devilish colour, their wit and eternal flame. He is reduced to the shell of a boy, the cusp of adulthood shown across his body, and yet still the softness of adolescence reflects upon his face. Feelings of pride and vanity now replaced with an overwhelming envy for what humans possess and he does not.

It smelled like gunpowder and sweat, and the ungodly stench of the trenches he once camped in. The distinct scent now burned into his everlasting memory of enemies he once faced, their comrades now resting in their graves where the roots of new flowers begin to bloom. The same foes that took his mortality, the copper tang of his blood upon their lips as the very being of his soul was taken, left to become one of the undead. A lifeless vessel for him to be trapped in until the ends of Earth and the solar system itself greets him, for which he will meet with welcoming arms.

It sounded like the shouts of men and bullets ricocheting, mortals at war with one another whilst a forgotten comrade awakes once more to find he is no longer one of them. The sound of mud squelching against boots, and the voice of an unknown saviour whom Alec has yet to realize is centuries old. The same saviour who will fuel his envy and lust for mortality, as well as the rest of those he is introduced to. He cannot understand why any would wish for a life such as this.

Alec knew what envy was, and it was the most human thing about him.