Mob Mentality

Cessna’s soft fur blew in the gentle breeze. She drew in a deep breath and then let it out again. The sounds of her Clanmates at their little party through the trees still carried on the breeze to her. Laughing and swing music brought back too many memories to her that she would rather not remember.

The young vixen had never had many friends. She had hoped moving would solve that problem, but it had somehow made it significantly worse. Perhaps it was the showing up at the border in tears and never mentioning why. Or maybe the avoiding social gatherings and men who reminded her too much of her father. She’d kept her head down and done her job, a stark contrast to how she had been in the Exiles. Well, she wasn’t exactly the same person as she was then. She had arrived here with nothing but muddy paws and teary eyes.

Cessna didn’t like foxes, didn’t like servals or panthers or lions or huskies. She didn’t like bows or flower crowns. Her conversations were brief and she ate alone. Cessna could have tried harder to make a good impression and force them to like her, but why bother? The whispering had started as soon as she had set foot on the border.

She was a woman of lies. She had inherited her mother’s jealousy and her father’s brooding into a detrimental combination that was bound to push everyone as far away as possible until the only one left to talk to was Ignis. Ignis was a tick like her mother was, who just didn’t go away. He didn’t meddle too much, so she had let him stay. Ignis was the only one who wasn’t served a steaming hot plate of honey coated lies every time they spoke.

She didn’t love him. Cessna didn’t love anyone. Love was a dumb stupid lie people told so they could con others into staying around until they found someone better to take their place. Well, Cessna wasn’t falling for it.

It had been months since Cessna had left her home. She had stopped hoping for a letter, a visit, anything. As far as she was concerned, she didn’t have a mother or father. Cessna had herself and she had Ignis and that was all she needed. She had stopped jumping at the chance to go on every patrol just to fuel the thought that maybe there would be a lick of Exiles scent on the wind from anyone she could ask about her father. But did she really want to know? Did she really want to know how joyfully happy he was doing all he promised he would never do? No. No, she didn’t. She’d rather not. But the curiosity was painful. Had they died? Could she go home? Did he miss her? No, no, definitely not. The Exiles hated her. It was really bad when the Exiles hated you.

Dusk was just starting to settle in. It was Cessna’s favorite time of day. She walked all around the border, glancing out and wondering what was happening in far away clans. They were all tucked up safe in their nests. But she was out here, the chill soaking into her fur. A rustle made her freeze. She turned, a familiar cloak swish catching her attention. This wasn’t the first time her eyes had played tricks on her. This time, her eyes landed on the tall grey shape. Her ears twitched and she turned to continue on with her walk. Not tonight, maybe tomorrow.

“Wait! Cess, don’t go.” The panther sat in front of her, holding a card in his jaws. Cessna hadn’t remembered him being so short, but she supposed that maybe she had grown.

“Why not?” She asked, “You’re trespassing. I could turn you in and get a pretty penny.” Her words held no weight to them and Cessna refused to look at her father. She glanced at the card, sniffing scornfully. “I didn’t know you kept keepsakes. You don’t seem like the type.”

He looked rather offended. Cessna hoped that would make him go away quicker. “What? I kept everything of yours. I’d never get rid of it.”

Cessna couldn’t help herself. “But I was the exception? Right. Well, nice card.” She hopped to her paws, ready to jet off to her nest to hide.

“But you were the one who left.”

Cessna froze. “But you were the one who didn’t notice.” She shot back.

There was silence for a moment. “You know I’m not very good at things like that.”

“I don’t intend to leave you again, and that’s a daddy promise.” Cessna’s fur bristled. “You promised but as soon as he came back you forgot I existed.” She spun on her heels to stare up at him. “I didn’t say shit to you about how I felt and just let you do it and you didn’t even give me the time of day. I swear, you just dropped me because the Exiles hated me and that was a bad look for you, huh? And it was easier to just forget about me than anything else?”

She’d never seen her father cry before, which was rather surprising, even to her. Cessna had been the only one he would say that he loved for a very long time. “Did you get bored with me? You showed me off but I lost my charm and was trouble for you, so you just hung me out to dry, huh? Just like that, I don’t exist. And you didn’t even think to question where I went? You didn’t miss me at all? I was that unimportant?” She scoffed, hot tears pricking the corners of her eyes. “I only took care of everything for you while you were gone and came to rescue you. I only put up with you while you were recovering because you chased everyone else away. Nothing special. I only let half of the Exiles be flower girls at your own wedding and you didn’t even consider me?”

“I didn’t think you’d be interested.”

“I would have if you had asked. I would have just sucked it up and did it for you.” Cessna shot him a harsh look, disregarding the hurt that forced her father to pull his eyes away from her.

“How have you been?” He asked, clearing his throat softly.

Cessna shrugged. What could she say? “Fine.”

“Do you have any friends here?”

“No. Too busy for that. They’re having some dumb party.”

“Well, why didn’t you go?” He questioned, moving closer to sit beside her.

“It hurts too much to see them happy.” Cessna admitted, not bothering to move away. “They’ve all got their inside jokes and cliques and families and all. Not really my taste. I just clean nests and then go to bed. Pretty good life.”

She glanced upwards when she felt his red eyes on her fur. “No, it’s not. What about your bug eating gremlin friend?”

“Ignis? I write him letters and see him every third sunrise. He’s got all kinds of great stories.” Cessna laughed.

“You don’t have any stories?” He questioned, subtle disappointment in his voice.

Cessna gave him a strange look. “I found a snake in a nest once. It was a big long black snake with an ugly head. Slithered right between my paws and out the door. The girls were screaming until someone killed it.” She offered.

Silence again.

Cessna copied his motion of clearing his throat and then asking:  “So how’ve you been?” She didn’t care, nor want to know, but apparently he wasn’t going away any time soon.

“Fine.”

Wonderful.

“French’s got his paws full with our litter. It’s really adorable, watching them. You could come see them. They’d like you.” He offered her a smile.

Cessna didn’t like them. She didn’t want to visit. “Last time they saw me, they called me mean and told me I was a killer, I’d rather not… go back to the Exiles… ever.” She clarified, glancing at him awkwardly. “Thanks for the offer, I guess.” She was kind of over trying to make Val happy, because it didn’t seem to end well for her.

“Oh. Okay.” 

Was Cessna the only one who missed the way Val had been before Viper had fucked it all up? Probably. Almost certainly. She should be happy for him. “I’m happy for you.” That was a lie.

“I’m happy for you too.”

Silence again.

“I’m sorry for forgetting you.” He offered, whiskers twitching. “For not bringing you your things sooner.” He paused, taking out a ribbon from under his cloak. He tied it in a bow around Cessna’s neck. “Will… you write to me if I write to you? If you have time. I don’t want to take you away from your… nest cleaning. You’re better than that, Cess. You’re a queen. They should throw out whatever leadership they’ve got now and put you there. You’d be perfect.”

Cessna shook her head. “I like being a nest cleaner. I’ll write to you.” She wasn’t expecting any letters back, but that was okay.

She took in a deep breath and stood up. It felt weird to have a ribbon pressing against her fur again after so many months of not even looking at a ribbon. Cessna guessed she would have to learn to tie it herself now. “Are you coming?” She asked, glancing back at Val. “You’re making me miss my walk.” She couldn’t help but smile a little as she watched him get to his feet and follow after her. “Where’re we walking to?” He questioned.

Cessna hummed in thought. “The old tree and back? Sounds good to you?”

“Just fine.” Came the answer.