Wilting Worry

A quiet sigh broke the silence of the room, a hand fumbling on the nightstand for the little rectangular screen that would tell the ghost he had woken ahead of the alarm as he often did when sleeping next to Spencer. It wasn’t uncommon, but it seemed to have become something of a habit since the move. Florian clicked the button, eyes squinting when the light from the screen hit them leaving the ghost with a moment to adjust. Had he forgotten to lower the brightness last night?

Even without looking, the man slid a finger across the screen, instinctively slipping the settings screen down to adjust the brightness down to a bearable level. Blissful sight, his again! A relieved sound as he slid through the phone and opened the alarm app to catch it before the peaceful morning quiet was broken. This was one of the rare days where Florian woke before the ivysaur and he didn’t want to disrupt their sleep if it could be helped, so waking up before the alarm and shutting it off felt fortunate.

Still, he was awake with a morning ahead of him; so, even as his flower slept he was up and heading toward the bathroom to begin his morning routine. 

----- 

The gourgeist stepped from the bathroom in sweats and a white tank, hair still damp as he looked to the bed where...Spencer was still asleep? He walks across the bedroom, a hand reaching out to move aside the curtains, sunlight streaming in and causing the ghost to tilt his head in confusion. He looked once more to the sleeping figure on the bed, how odd.

He seemed to come to a decision, Florian heads across the bedroom and on toward the kitchen. Tea, they so often made it for him and now he could return the favor! Maybe today was the day he’d even pick the right tea this time. He went to the tea drawer, reading over the options...it had been an english tea, right? Spencer had mentioned something at the time, so he pulled out the first tea he saw with english in the title….english breakfast tea, that sounded right! A little sound of confirmation from the gourgeist and he began the somewhat familiar process that surrounded making tea. 

-----

Still asleep, how was the ivysaur still asleep? A moment of sunlight and it was like the grass type was filled with all the energy in the world, so the ivysaur with sunlight falling across him from the curtain he had left open caused some alarm. He brought the tray over the the bedside table, setting it down and kneeling down to wake Spencer with a gentle hand on their shoulder and a murmured, gentle tone, “Spencer my sweet flower, it’s time to wake up.” Eyes opened and looked up at him, a small touch of relief for what had been seeds of worry and a start to the ivysuar’s day.

Florian pulled his hand from the ivysaur’s shoulder and reached over to pick up one of the mugs. “I made us some tea, can you sit up,” he asked in a quiet voice, free hand going to Spencer’s own to help them sit up. There was a sluggishness to the grass type’s movements, they seemed like they might just flop right over the opposite way they had been pulled up from.

“Can you hold a cup,” he asked, holding out the mug. Spencer reached for it, no answer coming immediately and it made the ghost pull back the mug with a small frown. His tone was more serious now, “Spencer, I need an answer.”

Florian watched as the ivysaur seemed to gather awareness, blinking away the distance and looking his way. A touch of the Spencer he knew, it brought a small flicker of relief which drew a gentle smile from the ghost. 

“Hm? Oh, yeah, I can,” the ivysaur almost sounded like he didn’t realize why Florian was asking but the look he was given had the ghost thinking that maybe Spencer wasn’t fully aware right now. They looked tired, as if they hadn’t just woken up from a full night of sleep. It would of been cute outside of the worry, but truth was Florian couldn’t help but worry. 

“Hmm,” he was skeptical but content with the answer, hesitant to let go of the mug until he was certain the ivysaur had a proper hold. When he did, he turned to the tray to pick up his own, shifting to sit on the floor in front of Spencer as they sat in silence, sipping at the warm tea. Spencer didn’t even take a sip right away, just gave a wilted smile and stared down at the cup with that same tired look, something was definitely off here. 

-----

He thought telling the ivysaur he wasn’t going to work would of drawn more attention, it really spoke to their current state that there hadn’t been any questions on why. He hadn’t even gotten a look as if he had grown a second head. No, instead he had gotten a, “That sounds nice,” it was enough from the ivysaur to almost come off as cold or at least alarming! Usually, they were overjoyed to spend an entire day together or at least wondered as to why the ghost would take a day off. 

The ghost mumbled his own frustrations as he stood over the sink, washing the mugs from their tea. Spencer was drinking, would probably even eat once Florian figured out a reasonable solution to that, if he found one at all. He couldn’t really….cook, at all. 

“It’s off is what it is,” he scrubbed at the ring of tea that had settled in the mug he was washing, his brows knitting in concern not from the effort he was putting into cleaning, but from his worry over the plant sitting in front of the fireplace. 

“How am I supposed to feed them anyway, I barely got the fire started without Gudrun,” he fussed, worrying his lip but still sparing a thankful thought for the sweet old houndour who he was sure must have wiggled up onto the chair by Spencer to keep them company. He set the last dish in the strainer with a huff, he still wanted to mutter and complain about so much at the sink...as if the cold steel bowl could echo back any answers to his day’s troubles.

Well, he could do this or he could- well not try, but certainly give his best attempt to brighten Spencer’s day. His inner goals solidified, the gourgeist wiped his hands on the towel next to the sink and turned his sights toward the living room his feet following suit a few moments later when the mild dread slipped away.

It was so simple really, as the ghost crossed the threshold between the kitchen and the living room it was as if servants of arceus had dropped a mallet from the heavens with the most obvious answer to his problem, the garden! Surely even the ivysaur couldn’t resist the appeal of the garden. The gourgeist leaned down to lay a gentle kiss on Spencer’s temple and started gently, “My sweet flower, I think there are some plants that might be missing your daily attention.” It was unusual for the Ivysaur to forget about their garden, and he felt a bit of relief when they looked up properly to answer him. They seemed nearly asleep, but the question might have shaken them out of whatever this was.

Their answer wasn’t ideal either. “Oh, I should do that. Thank you for reminding me.” The ivysaur stood, wandering towards the garden. Florian followed close behind to open the door for them, stopping at the threshold and using the opening to excuse himself away inside. Spencer seemed like they needed quiet time with their plants and the gourgeist needed a moment to think. He sighed, it was worrisome indeed… this wasn’t any version of Spencer he had seen before. What could be troubling them? More importantly, what was he supposed to do to help? The questions he had were endless and so was his nervous energy at this moment, the ghost taking up an odd habit and actually pacing the kitchen back and forth as his brain whirred away, hopelessly out of its depth.

Maybe it was that Spencer’s mom was no longer in town? They were very close, but Florian didn’t know if this was Spencer’s normal reaction to her having to go home. Normally when they said they missed Sarita, things weren’t quite this bad. But it was worth a shot, he thought. He quickly called the Toxicroak, going into the garden himself as the phone rang. Spencer seemed preoccupied, but despite this they seemed to be working diligently with the plants. That was something at least, “Flower, would you like to talk to Sarita?” He held out the phone, hoping she would not pick up before he got an answer from the ivysaur.

“Uhh… I don’t know. Maybe in a bit; I’m kind of tired,” They said, barely looking up from their plants.

“Are you sure? Maybe you’ll feel a little better if you do.”

“I don’t think I feel like talking now. Sorry… I’ll call her later.”

“Oh, okay…” Florian deflated at hearing this. Since when did Spencer not want to talk to their mom? “I just thought that, well, you seem like you’ve been down since she left?” He said this, the phone he had been held out he now pulled back to himself, looking down at the screen and then to Spencer once more, not really taking in the details on the screen.

Spencer looked up just long enough to make eye contact. It almost seemed like they were thinking, but there wasn’t enough time to tell before they replied with a quiet “Maybe? I dunno. I don’t think I want to talk to her now though.”

“Y-yeah, okay.” Not the most eloquent response, but Florian had no other words at the moment. The ivysaur would normally drop everything to answer a call from Sarita. The Gourgeist hung up the phone and returned inside.

He tapped the phone against his hand, that nervous energy displaying again. The tapping sound was enough that it drowned out the first ring of the phone as his mind jumped through thoughts some more. His distraction couldn’t last for much longer though, the ghost jumping at the second set of rings that caught him in a pause from tapping the phone against his palm.

Florian picked up, still distracted but now able to commit some attention to the phone call, “Hello?”

“Florian, what happened?”

Sarita! She sounded angry. “N-nothing,” he replies, hoping the often sour-tempered frog wasn’t in a mood to blame him for anything. “Relax, I’m not mad at you. What’s going on,” her reassurance eased his fear.

Florian let out a sigh that the Toxicroak certainly could hear. “Spencer is being kind of… odd today.”

“Yeah, I heard.”

“You heard-” Florian paused before he finished his question. He and Spencer probably left a voice message worrying enough for Sarita to call back. “Oh, you heard.”

“Yes, I did.” she let out a sigh to match his own, a pause following, “It’s not their doctor. I’m looking at their chart now and there’s nothing new. Nothing scary there… Spencer isn’t normally… you know. Sad.”

“No they aren’t, which is reason for concern, right,” there was a tone in his question that warned this line of conversation could lead to panic if approached without tact.

“Yeah… but you know, Florian.” Sarita lowered her voice a bit. “I’ve never seen them happier than they are with you. So uh. Just do what you can… I’ll call them when you think it’s a good idea, yeah?”

“I’ll let you know.”

“I have a customer so I have to go. Take care of my kid.” And she hung up.

-----

With the dishes done, counters cleaned, and one harrowing phone call done there were few things to keep Florian’s mind occupied. He already swept up some stray leaves from the herb planter and coffee grounds on the table to extend his busy work but still there was not enough to do. So, he took a few minutes to go to the bathroom, but even a splash of cold water wasn’t enough to shake him out of his anxiety. Still, he was calmer now, perfect timing even as he returned to the kitchen. Spencer had come back inside, and Florian was just in time to greet them, “How is the garden looking, Flower?”

“It looks okay,” Spencer said with a sleepy smile cast in Florian’s direction, but no other hint of their usual mirth, “Some of them didn’t make it through winter.”

Their voice was quiet and restrained, this seemed to create a spark of recognition in the ghost. Florian wasn’t sure that some of the plants dying was the root of all this, but it seemed possible that the issue was somehow related. Life and death were always very important themes to the Ivysaur…

“Perhaps they’ll sprout new shoots in the spring- your plants have surprised us before.”

“Yeah… maybe.”

The Gourgeist tried hard to keep his smile as neutral as possible, but his worry leaked through a bit - not that Spencer noticed. No, instead they walked back to the fireplace and picked up a book that was lying on the ground. Good! This was good-they were doing something.

Florian wondered if more tea was in order, but decided against it when he noticed that the Ivysaur hadn’t turned a page in a few minutes. Frowning, he sat quietly in the living room next to Spencer with a book of his own to be less conspicuous, and waited. Minutes pass, but the pages didn’t turn. Spencer seemed to notice that they were being watched, since they looked up at the ghost type and stared at him, expression difficult to read. “...yes?”

The Gourgeist blinked. “Um… you’ve been on that page for a while... should we read together?”

Florian often read to the Ivysaur, usually because they insisted upon it. They often told him his voice was fun to listen to, calming even. The Ivysaur thankfully didn’t brush this suggestion off immediately, instead thinking for a bit before looking at the back door to the garden. They looked back. “I would like that.”

Florian couldn’t help but smile. He sat up from his own chair and meets Spencer on the floor where they sat together, looking over their shoulder to see what they were reading. Spencer seemed comforted by the familiar motions, as they settled back to lean their head on his shoulder and the ghost began to read. It was a fantastical novel, one about dragons and knights and evil demons and a band of plucky heroes- the kind of thing Spencer would have finished in a day otherwise. But Florian was content to read for them. He looked down a few times to see how Spencer was doing, and on occasion he thought he saw the Ivysaur smiling. It was nice. Normal.

-----

Spencer always did find some comfort in Florian’s embrace and the sound of his voice. Uncommon as it was for them to ask this of him, this was one of their favorite little rituals. When one of them was tired or sad or just in a mood for a good cuddle, the other would read to them. It was sweet.

This and the garden got Spencer thinking. They take a moment to look up at Florian as his voice paints over a story about epic adventure - they really didn’t do anything good to deserve this, did they? All they did was worry him.

And they were worrying him now too, it seemed.

“Do we have any of that mug cake mix left?’ Florian asked, concluding the chapter with a smile and looking at Spencer. They hadn’t caught any of that last chapter at all. They were nearly asleep listening to that voice. “I think so… leftmost shelf.” They managed a smile, but it was half-hearted, and perhaps Florian knew this, because the expression he gave them was serious but caring. It filled the Ivysaur with guilt.

So when the ghost type stood up and disappeared into the kitchen, Spencer found themself feeling more alone than they had even when they were closing themself off from Florian’s care. They could feel their mind disappear into dark places, and with it, they thought, so should they.

They quietly stood up and left out the back door to hide in the shed, where their ghosts often skulked around, and took a seat near the wall, where the last rays of sunlight for the day only hit their shoes through the crack in the ceiling. It wasn’t a place they usually went for solace, they thought. That place of solace had always been with Florian, and the thought of this was enough to crack through the tired indifference they held all day. They felt sad. They were sad. They had let themself fall in love with a man who deserved better than them, and it was that same love they felt that made it so painful to think about what would happen to him when they were no longer well enough to stand, or breathe without aid. They would only prove to be a burden. Spencer sat in the shed and cried quietly into their knees, thinking that Florian would be better off without them, but also hoping that he would come looking for them - if he did that now, maybe there was reason to believe that he was better off for having Spencer around.

-----

“They’re in the microwave-” Florian announced, leaving the kitchen only to see that there was no one in the living room. Strange... “Spencer?” He called, knocking timidly on the bathroom door cracking it open slightly to confirm the room was empty. No, not there… he then headed to the guest room, the game room… not there either. He wasn’t too worried now - maybe Spencer went to the garden to check on the plants once again?

But the Ivysaur wasn’t out here either. “Flower? The cakes should be ready-” he cried out, hoping that the temptation of comfort food would entice the Ivysaur to come out of hiding. Where could they be? Florian tried the stables next, but the mounts resting inside weren’t harboring any fugitive grass types. The greenhouse seemed like the next most reasonable option, but Spencer wasn’t in here either.

Florian was beginning to worry. Why would Spencer have run off like that? What would have compelled them when things were looking good for once this whole day… The Gourgeist was at the end of his rope with being calm - it was time to panic now. “Spencer!” He called as he ran to the side of the house - not there - and to the front yard - not there either. Defeated, he rubbed his face and turned to face the house again when he spotted the shed, a few feet off the side of the house, rarely entered for any reason except to grab bikes or some replacement fertilizer.

He couldn’t help but let out a profound sigh of relief when he saw the huddled figure of the Ivysaur in the corner, but his relief wasn’t lasting. Spencer had been crying here, and seeing that nearly broke his heart.

“Spencer, why-”

“I’m sorry,” was the muffled response from the back of the shed. “I’m sorry. I just… I don’t know.” There was a quiet sniffle before the shadowy Ivysaur looks up. The meager rays of sun hit their face, and the expression they illuminated was sad and scared. “C-can you stay here? With me?” They ask, moving to one side so they were nestled up against an old bookshelf that hadn’t been thrown out yet.

Florian didn’t wait a moment to comply, sitting down next to Spencer. He was quiet for few second, the Ivysaur collapsing on his lap. They were silent, but they hadn’t stopped crying and he could tell. Florian placed a hand on their back and looked down at them as if unsure of what to say. Thankfully it didn’t seem like he needed to say much.

“I'm so sorry, Florian. I love you. I’m… I never want to hurt you. I’m sorry about everything.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” Florian replied, his own voice steady to complement the wavering fear in Spencer’s. The ghost felt certainty for once this entire day, the ivysaur had nothing to feel sorry for, nothing at all that the ghost could ever hold against him. He closed his eyes and sat there, Spencer leaning on him and hopefully experiencing some well-needed catharsis, and his own mind still now.

Time passed and neither of them noticed how long they spent in the shed. 

-----

Florian woke the next morning to the smell of breakfast and a half-empty bed.

He worried a bit that it was his imagination, but to his relief he saw Spencer busily attending to two different stovetops and pot of coffee in a breakfast ritual much more extravagant than the usual. He didn’t have to initiate conversation either, as the Ivysaur grins up at him as he looks about the scene. The sight left a warm fuzzy feeling in his chest as relief washed over the gourgeist, his Spencer...his sweet flower was themself again. Their voice was cheerful, “Morning, pumpkin! I made pecan pancakes! Or well. Some of them are pecan pancakes, but I thought I’d try putting the pecans on top instead of in the batter, so.” They shrugged before continuing. “Did you sleep well?”

Florian gave Spencer a dumbfounded, almost suspicious look.

"You know what, that's not a fair question, I didn't really give you much reason to sleep soundly yesterday, did I..." They ivysaur scratched their neck with their forearm and geared up to say something else, but nothing came out.

He was still feeling some whiplash from yesterday, so all he says is a small “It’s fine.”

Spencer frowned. "I'm not very convinced from your tone, but if you think this is a conversation for later, I get that.” They pull the now-finished pancakes from the two plates off the pan and into a ceramic plate before looking back at Florian. "These three pancakes are ready if you want to eat! I also got that jam you like if you want to use it instead."

They were acting so normal, like yesterday didn’t even register with them. Florian couldn’t help but feel annoyed. This absolutely wasn’t a conversation for later "N-no okay, no, it isn't fine. You scared me, I've never been more worried Spencer! I had no idea what was going on, I though...I don't know what I thought b-" The Gourgeist had to stop though, something catching in his throat. He could feel the lingering dread from yesterday resurface and dwell in his chest. He collapsed onto a chair at the table and rested his head in his hands, thoughts muddied.

The Ivysaur blinked when Florian spoke, and they looked at the kitchen tile for a second before turning the heat off the stove. They opened their mouth, and Florian paused to let them speak. He was feeling a bit too heated at the moment to really gather this thoughts anyway.

The Ivysaur finally spoke up. "Mom texted me asking me what happened, and I don't... remember much? But I read what I told her." rubs their arm nervously. "I think..." It was clear they were trying to remember, their expression looking almost pained in thought. "I think I was scared that... y'know. Eventually I'm going to hurt you. Not because I try or anything, but because... y-y’know!" They waved their hands around and gave Florian a pout in discomfort. They didn’t want to talk about it in so many words.

He did know, he thought. His expression softened a bit from annoyance to worry once again.

"But... I don't feel sad today. I-I do worry. I worry about that a lot. You're, um. You're probably one of the best things that's ever happened to me, and I want you to be happy. Forever. But... more than sad, I'm grateful." Spencer managed a small smile, but unlike their tired smiles from yesterday, this one felt genuine. “I’m grateful that you care at all. You don't really need to, but you do. And I think that's... kind of great!" Their grin looked and felt a bit awkward. Spencer could have their serious moments… but never so early in the morning. "I'm sorry I scared you. I really think that was a one-off thing because I woke up feeling... not sad at all, really. I mean, why would I? I lucked out, I think.”

The anger didn’t last - Florian never could stay upset with Spencer for long - and he regarded the Ivysaur’s words with a heavy sigh. "You could never hurt me, never disappoint me." He stood from table and walked towards the awkwardly smiling Ivysaur, pulling them in for a gentle embrace. He was surprised by the relief he felt when Spencer hugged him back. "Being with you is my happiness," he whispers, and when Spencer lets out an involuntary giggle at the overly sentimental man, he lets out a small laugh too. “My wonderful, sweet… foolish flower.” He pulls back just enough to look at Spencer, who met his smile with a bright, optimistic grin of their own. “Yeahaha… I deserve that.”

They really were back to normal. Florian laughed again before tilting Spencer’s neck up for a kiss, and in that moment there was a sweet bit of normalcy - interrupted only by Spencer’s phone buzzing and the Ivysaur jerking back in alarm. “I need to call my mom! Oh my gods, she must be going insane after everything I said yesterday! Let me just-”

But Florian interrupted their ramblings with a gentle hand stopping them from grabbing their phone. “After breakfast,” he suggested. looking a bit sheepishly at the floor. “I missed out on a whole day with you. Can you call her after breakfast?”

Spencer looked up at Florian, amused by the request but not surprised. They turned the heat back on the stove and offered him the pancakes that were already finished. “Sure. I think I owe you that much at least.” They laughed and continued making pancakes. “After all, I did miss out on a whole day of feeling really lucky that you’re around.”