That Night

The knock at the door surprised you as you were taking off your vestments, the colored sash of the clan that took you in carefully folded over your arm. You have to blink slowly at the door as a second knock sounded. You weren’t expecting anyone to visit you, especially at this time of night. Rossi was going to arrive any second now and your dearheart was sure to come walking in without hesitation. Having others around usually made him nervous so you decided it was best to turn around whoever was at the door, regardless if it was his newfound party or not. Maybe even especially so if it was them. The nights were yours to share together after all.

But as you open the door, it was Rossi who stood at the other side. You were sure confusion was visible on your face as he hesitated at the doorway. Why hadn’t he just come in? Why knock?

“Have room for one more?” He asked and you felt your heart crack at how unsure he sounded. At how small he looked standing there in the shadows, shoulders drawn together as if he were bracing himself. But you smile reassuringly at him even as he tried to avoid your gaze, your hand reaching out to clasp his where they were fidgeting with his armor. 

“For you? Always,” you murmur as you guide him into the room, closing the door behind you. You didn’t want any disturbances. Especially not now when your Rossi still looked so small, so unsure. He still wouldn’t look at you, and you can see his tail wrapping around his own leg. Carefully setting aside your vestment, you move to stand in front of him, but he wouldn’t look at you. For a moment both of you stand there in silence, your perceptive eyes taking in all that you missed in the last two years, and his shoulders still tense as he feels your gaze.

He looked...thinner. There was a gauntness in his face that wasn’t there before, his cheeks thinner and faint bags under his eyes that you’re sure he hadn’t had a proper night’s rest in some time. But what worries you most was the white streak in his hair. It was larger than the last time you saw it, and you remember your concern when you had first seen it dyed in his attempt to hide it. You worry at how safe your dearheart really felt around these people if he felt the need to hide it. Or maybe it had something to do with his brother?

The flinch he made when you finally reached out for him broke your heart even more, but you ignore it as you cup his face in your hands. You caress his cheek with your thumb as you waited, watching him all the while. Seconds, minutes, hours - you weren’t sure how much time passed before he finally looked up and met your eyes. His gaze was scared, unsure but filled with so much longing that your chest ached at the sight.

How much had he suffered since your parting? How much of it had he pushed down behind a fake smile?

But you already knew the answer. All of it.

Still, you give him a smile - soft, fond, loving - before you tilt his chin up and press your lips to his. And all at once... you feel like you’re home for the first time in what felt like years. It was years. His mouth moves with yours as you press closer, and you feel his tail wrap around your leg in a familiar gesture. Your chest aches with how much love you feel for this tiefling, and you try your best to pour it all into the kiss.

I miss you. I love you. I’m here. I’m home.

You knew neither of you would be up to anything that night. Your relationship had always been more than physical. Oh, the sex was nice of course, but more often than not, the nights were spent together just basking in each other’s presence. Just being together and being the people you couldn’t be around most others. Not Luciano and Eirros, two agents of notorious criminal organizations partner together by chance and business. Not the faces that you let the public saw.

Just Luka and Rossi. You and your dearheart. Many people had made assumptions about your relationship and what you do behind closed doors, especially with how unapologetically free and open Eirros was with his affections towards you. But you never cared for their jeers and teasing. Not when you all but melt in his arms and soft touches are felt along warm skin.

Your kiss slows to gentle presses of lips against his skin as you slowly and methodically remove his armor, feeling his cheek press against your head. Letting you release him of that protective layering until he stood before you in just normal clothes. A gentle kiss on his forehead before you lead him to the single bed and he’s still silent as you two lay down. The bed was too small to hold you both comfortably but you make do. There’s almost no space between the two of you as if moving even a centimeter away would cause you physical pain. And for a moment you bask in each other’s presence once more, his tail wrapped securely around your leg. He lets you caress him, his face, the tender skin where the horns connect with his skull, and his ear where you can still see your ring clasped there. The partner to the one you wear and you feel your heart swell. He never took it off.

You take a moment to examine the barely visible runes on the ring - that was certainly new and you briefly wonder if you should get yours enchanted as well - when you meet his gaze. Most people can't tell where he is looking due to his pupilless eyes, but you knew. You could always tell. He had been watching you, you realized. Watching your expression as you caress his face. His own expression was careful, but you could see the love and sadness in his gaze. You understand why. It had been a long, agonizing two years for you and you suspect it had been the same for your dearheart. Maybe even more so. Eirros had always felt much more strongly than you ever could. Your love for him was the strongest emotion you’ve felt in all your years on this life which then led to others: protectiveness, care, and at times, possessiveness all centered around the man in your arms. As a monk, you’ve trained not to let your emotions cloud your actions. With him, you found yourself feeling those emotions once more. And you didn’t care.

Not when the warmth of his smile washes over you like sunlight.

He’s not smiling now though. Not even saying a single word since he’s come into your room. You look at him, showing the worry you felt and his face crumbles just the tiniest bit. Still hiding as you caress his cheek with your thumb. You wait it out, hoping that he would see what you’re trying to say in your eyes and gestures.

I’m here. Let it out. It’s okay. You’ll be okay.

His face crumbles as tears spring to his eyes and your mind flashes back to that hill where you reunited. It was that same look of pain, despair and so much longing. You feel tears prickle at your eyes as you pull him close, hiding his face into your shoulder as the sobs finally break through. Each broken sound cracking your heart just a little bit more and once again you find yourself cursing whoever had been stopping your communication with each other. 

No words can heal a broken heart. Nothing you could say would heal the loss, pain, and confusion both of you endured during those two years. All you could do was to hold him as tight as you could and give him a safe place to fall apart. To let out the anguish he kept bottled up. A couple of tears slide down your cheek as you close your eyes, hiding your own face in his hair while being careful of his horns. Your throat felt tight as he shook apart in your arms, still silent as his soft broken cries wash over you. You’re not sure how much time has passed, but slowly Eirros’ cries grew quieter and quieter until all you could hear was his unsteady breathing. You lift your head to check on him and your reddened eyes meet his. For a moment you two just stare at each other, foreheads pressed together as the night ticked on. You knew you both have an early start tomorrow for re-training. If you knew him as well as you did, you knew that he had fallen back and needed to get back up to speed. But you didn’t care right then. Not when the faintest hint of a smile broke through his face and you feel peace settle in your heart. He was going to be okay. You both were going to be okay. That was all that mattered. A faint smile spread across your face and you see his eyes light up just the smallest bit at the sight.

“I love you, my dearheart,” you murmur, everything left unsaid poured into those words. A promise, a vow. Your devotion only to him and he to you.

“I love you more, Tesoro,” he replied cheekily, voice rough from crying but the promise behind them clear. You chuckle and press a kiss to his forehead, your eyes slipping close as you feel sleep tugging at your consciousness. You feel him yawn against you and you know that he won’t be too far behind. Your promise echoing in your head as it always did in the two years you were apart.

Always together. Never far apart.

Never again, you promise as you feel yourself slipping into a deep slumber, finding comfort in his embrace. They would have to tear your cold, dead corpse away from your dearheart to pull you away from him. You would let the world burn first before you would let anything take him away from you. You promised that you would follow him to the hells and back and nothing would come in your way of that promise.

Not the Order. Not the Clan. Not this party. Not even his own brother.

Never again.