Sweet On Sadness

15 Days…

I never really felt right since the familiars first came. The fact that that day was fast approaching didn’t make my feelings any better, either. I shudder at the thought that it was already almost here. I need to ignore it though. I still have work I need to do.

At first, I tried my best to fight those pesky bees. Damn, they’re annoying. I tried to follow Mami’s advice as best I could. She was a senpai after all. She of all people should know what she’s doing, right? She seemed so sure that magic was the most effective, so I assumed that she knew best.

However, when Megumi came forward with her own warning...I got nervous. Who should I listen to? They're both senpais and they probably know more than I ever could, but the fact that they gave conflicting advice... Something doesn't feel right about any of this, but I believed it wouldn't be a good idea to question it. At least...not out loud...

Using my weapons like Megumi wished to do would be tough. A microphone staff and a shield. Yeah, I could use the mic like a club and cut with the shields' sharp edges, but... My powers come easier to me, and they're usually more effective in combat. However...something about Megumi's warning scared me.

Since I’ve heard Megumi’s warning, I’ve been using my weapons a lot more. They’re less effective, and I’m not great with them, but I’ve gotten by. But...Damn, I’m already running out of stamina. When did I get so tired? I’ve probably been overexerting myself with all of these bees. Maybe I should rest. Yeah. Resting should help. I just need more...rest...

I can feel myself grow more careless as time goes on. I'm missing more often. What was it about Megumi’s warning that screwed me up so much? I don’t know how much more of this I can take. All this witch stuff is seriously trashing my nerves. Candy Rat’s killing spree, Christmas Devil’s silent game of hide and seek, Conjoined-Twin Spider’s switcharoo magical dress-up, and now this bee and her mind control games. I didn’t think witches would be this insane.

When I just couldn’t do it anymore, I decided to go home. I, of course, got yelled at by Yuuta. I had left the house when I wasn’t supposed to and got grounded...again...Pua looked at me funny, the same look she’s given me many times since I started doing magical stuff more. Maybe she was worried about where I’ve been. Damn. I wish I could tell her. She’d probably flip, though. And Yuuta...He’d ground me until I needed a walker if he knew anything about what I’ve been doing. Mom...she’d probably cry...She’d be terrified that I’d die or something from all this...

Gahh, I can’t think about all this. I won’t tell them. Not now. It’s not important for them to know.
T͉͡h̞̅e͔̱͎͗̐́y ̤͙̈́̀d̺̓o̝̔n̘̹̳̐̒͂̚ͅ '̰̼̓̅t̞̼͕̅͐̋̓͟ ̬̰̆͆ne͖̬͘̕ed̪͌ ͓̰̹̱̃̓̽̚t͔͓̮̋̾̾o̬̐̑͟ ̱͖͍̻̬̋͋̀̌͡k̡̛̖̗̂̓̎ͅn̤̠̊͒o̩̺̙̤̿͋̋̀ẅ̝̺́̆.̘̻́͌.͓͎̿͌̕ͅ.



10 Days…

It’s weird. That damn honey is finally gone, and so are all those troublesome bees, but...I don’t feel any better. I should feel relieved right? Familiars are gone, job well-done or whatever, congrats magicals. Despite that, I only feel...worse? I don’t know why. I just don’t feel like I accomplished anything great. I just don’t feel like I did anything at all, actually.

I've gotten more tired lately, and I feel sluggish in my movements. Maybe it's the wounds from work? No, that couldn't be it. Those have closed up already. Maybe im just not getting enough sleep. Yeah. Yeah, that's probably it. I should start going to bed earlier. That should help.

I heard about what happened later on. That we were all tricked and that Mami was under the control of some witch. Another damn witch. For some reason, it just...didn't register. The danger feels kinda distant to me for some reason. The witch wasn't really fighting outright after all. M͇̄̋͢a̝͊yb̫̪͋̂͜͡è̹̦́̅͜ ͎͕̖̠̓̒̈́̍s̟͒͢͠h̖̃ē̡̟̞͇̆̊͠ ̭̭̠̖̏̉͑͘i͎͍̖͒̔͡s̟͕̽͞ṉ̌̀͟ '̻̲͔̏̒͂͘͢t͈̻͚͛̂̄ ̡͔̭͉̈́̆̍̎̅ͅr̤͇͉͂͒͡ȩ̭͖̞͈͒̂̾͑͂a̻̩̥͉̐̽̽͑͠ͅḻ̜̳̳̩̄͒̃͗͘ḻ͔̣̬̊̓͂̈y ̛͚̖̙̼͂͂͠a͓̹͂̔l̖̳̔͞l̡̰̱̈́̾̚ ̲̊t͈͕͓̻̳̀̅͊̽͝h̫̩̎̋̐͜͝ͅa̙̖͆̔t̛̫͔̺͉͒̀̚͟͞ ͈͡b̗̌a̡̱͎̐̍̕d̡͇͕̀̍̈́?

Woah Woah Woah, don't even Moema. She's a witch. Remember all the shit with the candy rat? And with the weird Christmas devil thing and that crazy two-headed spider? Witches are witches, and they do nothing but destroy and kill. With that in mind, I decided to go back out and hunt some more familiars. I need to clear my head.

I fucked up, I fucked up, I͕̱͔͈̿͆͗̀ ̙̹̰̹̀̓́͒f̩͚̝͂̋̕u̪̣̦̅̏̍̈́ͅc̡̼͕̼̼̈̉̑͡͝ḱ̩e̝͆d̤̙̀́ ̥́ũ̖̩̹̱͐̽͟͝͝p. I was supposed to be actually okay at this by now, yet I fucked up anyway.

I grew hesitant in my fighting. All that crap with the senpais and the witch controlling people got into my head, it seemed. I got careless and distracted by all of the discourse amongst the other magicals. I ended up getting hurt. I didn't even see that Combee come up behind my leg. It hurts. I think it’s bleeding. I can barely stand, but...I n͖̼̙̯͎̎̄̅͗͘e̻̭̪̅͂͘e͍͖̳̯͑͑̓͡d̬̾ to go home.

Yuuta’s really pissed now. He probably thinks I've joined a gang or something. He’s even ignoring the fact that I’m limping. Mom’s getting upset with me now too, but she’s more worried about my wound. I lied and told her a scrape up against a fence, but...I don’t think I was very convincing. She’s still trying to get me to talk, even while cleaning up my wound. It was the first time in a while she mentioned C̫̲͕̪̄́̀̒ǫ͙̰͖̻̇̈̈́̐̇nf̟̖͌̊i̱̰̼̝͉͛͒̎͌͋d̼̥͎̈́̅͗ę̛̣̩̄̉. The moment she said it, I clamped up. There’s no way in hell that I would ever use a move like that. There was no way in hell I could tell the truth any more.
 
Pua...Pua’s ignoring me ever since I got home...She’s probably mad that I haven’t told her anything about what I’ve been doing. I doubt I could tell her anything to make it better, huh?

Pua’s never been this silent before. Normally, I can’t ever get her to stop talking, but...ever since I came back, she’s been giving me weird looks and staying quiet. Maybe all the tension from mom and Yuuta are rubbing off on her. Either that or she’s still mad at me for not telling her anything. Damn. What kind of friend am I?

I’m grounded again. Not only did I go out late again, but I also left the house when I was supposed to be grounded. Both Yuuta and mom agreed that this wasn’t okay behavior. I’m just glad mom calmed him down before he...before he had...

I’̡̨̦͎͔͂́͋̀̕m̟͠ ̢̜̯͎̀̓͊̕ǵ̜̮͎̾̕l̟̽a̜̝͔̪̓̋͛͗d̢̢̨͙͔̓̈̑̎͝ ̱̲͓͌̇̕i͉̖̊̀ţ̡̙̙́͂̄͝ ̡̦̾̌d̩̥͉̪̆̽͐̚͜͝í̛̥̘͎̓d̡̳̘́̿͋n̫͞' ̨̼̐̐́ͅț̡͉͔̇͋͗͐ ́͟go̻̩̅̚ ̡̤͕̱̻̑̔́̋͊tḫ͎̥̖̓̒͘͡a̰̩͒́t̥̟͐̓̆ͅ ͖́fạ̫̉͂r̬͐̀ͅ…̞̯̰̼̈͋̏͘



5 Days…

Arceus...what is going on with me? I feel so tired. I can barely keep my eyes open. It’s weird, but all my thoughts are fuzzy, I constantly feel dizzy, and my hearing is plagued by constant buzzing. Damn, finals must finally be getting to me.

But I can't focus on that right now. I need to pass or Yuuta will be on my tail for the entire summer. I don't need that again, it was bad enough last year. I don't need that kind of stress again. I don’t know if I’d be able to take it again without lashing out.

Between studying and magical work, I'm surprised that I haven't crashed and burned yet. I already feel like a trainwreck. I've lost my appetite, and I can't sleep without melatonin pills. I've almost walked into the street three times in the last few days. I should really go see a doctor about this. Maybe that'll help. But...later...I need to study more.

Well...I’m trying to study, but...I can’t concentrate. I keep hearing that despicable buzzing. I keep thinking about the witch. Damn, how can I think about school with things like this in the world?

I saw what happened in the magical chat. I should have been studying, but I couldn’t focus with all the notifications. I decided to take a look, and...damn. All that stuff with Louis is freaking me out. At the same time...I feel strange about what he said...I don’t know, he just...said things that really made me think while I read it...If the witch dies...will everyone else whos been controlled die too? What if mom gets taken over? And Pua? I wonder...w̘̮͇͛̇̀h̺̦̒͆̉͟ạ̰͛̓̚ͅt̤̣͒͠ ̲̻̿̽į̹̈̓̕͜f̨̯̳̤͍̅̐̄̀̀ ̱̜̯͐͌̂hẽ̛̻͖̝͂ '̝̄s̘̎͠ͅ ̼̠̜͐̈́̆̃͢r̹͇̺̠͓͑̍́̕͠i͎̼͊͝ǧ̬͉̙̒͞h̞̮̓̿͘͟ṭ̯͉̞͛̔̎͡?̨̲̺̰̀͒̾͋

I've tried fighting again. My leg still kinda hurts from before, but it's not unbearable. I can still fight. I need to f͇̤̗͇̼̉̆̀̇̏i͓̥̺̺͎͋͒͒̚̚g̙̬̅́ḩ͜͝͞t͙͞.

All these familiars are annoying. I’ve had to retreat or call on Puna for backup more times than I can count. The big metal-looking ones are strong, and the little buggy ones with the flowers on their backs can really knock me out if I'm not careful. And those combees...Their honey does weird things to the mind, I know that much. I need to stay away from it. Kinda hard to do considering its everywhere, but I know I still need to.

I also know I shouldn’t be fighting alone, but it’s not like I have any friends I can call up to go hunting with or anything. Arceus knows there's no magical around here I know or trust enough to have weapons in my vicinity without me wanting to turn tail and run. I...I need to focus. I can’t keep getting lost in my thoughts like this unless I want to get caught off guard and get hurt again like last time. I can worry about my antisocial behavior and lack of relationships later when I’m not fighting for my life.

I decided to go home. I can’t focus with finals and what Louis said running through my mind. Damn, I can't even think clearly enough to go in the right direction. I got lost three times going on my normal route home, and it wasnt even dark outside. Yuuta's still upset, but I think mom can tell how stressed out I am and told him to leave me alone for now. Thank arceus. I...I kinda wish I didn't have to l̰͙̿̓i̲̰̻̋͌̍ě̳̟͖̘̈́̔̄ to them though...

My movements are still sluggish. I’ve been running out of stamina quicker. It’s even been affecting my gymnastics, which is pissing off Yuuta since he paid for all my lessons. I've been sleeping more, even trying to use calming music and muscle relaxers and all that mumbo-jumbo. Yet...I'm still tired. Still dizzy. Still hear buzzing. I don’t think I'm sick. I don’t have a fever or anything of the sort. Maybe I should rest more. Ņ̻̜͊̐̂ó̩̞̬̫͊̌͞. I still have things I need to do. I’ve still got familiars to fight, and finals to pass.

I ̦̰̑̂c̝̥̟͗̕͞ā̧̛̜̗̑̓͢ṅ̪̜͛ ̪͔̂͊w̡͎̙̲̔́̑̈͊͢ȯ̧̺̝̲͗̃͌r̨͉͍͉͆̃̑̀ry̪̙̿̏͘͟ ̥̣̌͒a̖̥̩͆̀̕b̺̋oų̰͈̓̅͗t̳͙͉̗̉͛̈̓ ̨̠̼̔̅̊m̲̟̣̽͌̋̔ͅy̥͍̳̏͌̓ș̡̛̞̭̖̋̊̆͝e̡̟͙͊̅́l̥̔f͕̘̱́́͞ ̥̬̣͒̒̅w͇̠̞̤͊̋̓̊h͇̓en̢̜̟̩͂̂͞͠ ̪̌i̝̹͂͊t̞̎ '͚͘s̡̫̪̹͂͒̚͠ ̮̓a̢͖̔͐ll̖̗̗̹̉̌̃͗ ̨̭̀̓ȍ̦͚̖̿͐͠ͅv̖̤̆͠ȩ̛̛̯̝̯̚̚r…͔̈



0̗͑ ͖̝͍̑̐̅D̛̼̱̣̊́̃͜ȧ̡̜͍̱̗̤̅́͛̚͜͝͠ý͉͙̯́͌s̢̠͙̞̰̬̈́̑̍̓̋̄.̡̦͖͋͛̾.̰͝.̢̨̛̻̠͈̠̐̓̍̌͝

It was on that day that it happened…

June 15th...

The day Aisho Yua had taken his own life, one year prior...

The day M̺͇̑̍͗͜ǫ͕̜͆̇̏͠ͅe͕̍m̜͡ā̘̭̇̽ͅ ̤̉Y̛͈̔ͅö̝́ş̛̛̭̳͖̆̽h̤̜͐̆i̭͘ḏ̗̃͒̔ͅá̝͇̳̙̊͋͞ lost control…

It was like most other days for me. Mom was up early, like usual, making breakfast and brewing coffee, probably humming along to Hawaiian radio like always. Yuuta was tucked up away in his study since Arceus-knows-when, nose deep in a book without a care in the world except for expanding his own knowledge. Pua, of course, was snoring away despite her alarm blaring.

I felt sluggish getting up, I could barely get myself out of bed. The buzzing in my head’s gotten louder since yesterday. And the day before that. And the day before that...damn, how long has this buzzing been going on? Maybe I should go to a doctor or something once this mess is over. But not now. I have something else I need to do.

As soon as school got out, I booked it. I knew exactly what places I needed to go to, when and why as well. As soon as I got what I needed, I bolted for the train. I took the first available one to where I needed to be. Just like every other time.

Flowers in hand, a lovely bouquet...from the shop he p̲̜͈͋͑́r͙̣͘͠ò̻͇̄͒͢m͎̭͚͋̂͐i̯̎̋͢s̭͈̗͙͆̄͘͡ȅ̛̦̳d we would buy and own together when we grew up..., I approached the familiar rusted gate. M̧̥̱͌̉͡i̺̕ț̠̲͐͒̓a͈̙͗̀͢͠k͕͔̆̐i̞̟̔̔h̗̗̪̀̔̅ā͈̠̑r̫͚̳̗̔̐́͞a̢̾̽͜ ̦̝̈̍Ĉ̩̐͢e͈̦̱̰̓͋̌͞mẽ̯͙̔ț̢̛̩̘̣̀̿̀̆ẻͅr̬̬̜̔͞͝y̰͖͍̝̐͊̍̓.

At this point, I knew the path by heart. I could tell you every turn you'd need to get to his grave without even pausing to think. I know, I know, how depressing, but c'est la vie or whatever. Anyway, I didn't even think as I walked, I kind of just let my brain go on autopilot or something. Maybe I just didn't want to think.

H̗̬̫̒̽̇͞ͅi͈̘͆̾s ̫͙̪͚̒́͐̽ğ̫̭̘̠͒͘̕r̥͉͒̆â̝̙͉̂͠v̲͕̻̦͐̄̂̓ě͇ was a simple one, nowhere near as fancy as he deserved. Being able to put up with such a screw-up and a compulsive liar like me? He deserved an entire mausoleum at that point. Yet, he got a skimpy little slab of concrete, as if he was no different from all the schmucks here. H̜̭̻̬́̉̉̈e̺̳͉̬̭͛͆̂̽͡ ͎͊d́ͅeş̤̺͇̳͂̐̀̍̽e͍̥̭̠͋̌͐͞rv̠̥̣̩̂̈́̈́̑̈́ͅe̹̝̩͗̊̔̂͟d̫͍͎͐͂͡ ̧̪́͒̆ͅb̜̳͐̒̍ͅe̤̻͊̽ţ͠t̖͉̞̳̾̅̉͘̕ͅe̗̕r̘͉̪̣͑͛͛͠ ̰̥̹̈̅͘t͈̞̲͌̌̌ĥ̯̲̽ą̢̰̀̂͡n̕͜ ̛̗̳̈́t͙͓̐̿hê͎̳͇͋̇͢͝m̱̟̱͍̜͑̾̿̋̏..̧͔̹̿̊͆͜͞.͎͓̒̀.̧̞̜͔̃̃́̓

“So...It’s been a year, huh Ka’Ai?”

I don’t know why I would ever bother talking to a grave. I hated to think that I was one of those people. I guess I just...got hopeful for an answer. A part of me expected an answer. Sometimes I would cry or get pissed off when I didn't get one.

I sighed. "Why'd ya have to go, K̞͐a̧̨̨͈̐̂̄͐ '̨̭̹̻̃͒͗̚A͉̫͓̥̋͌͞͠ǐ̟̞͎͠͝? I'm still not over it, ya know? Its been an entire fṵ̤͛̔c̞͇̦̋͠͝k̪̚i̢̖͕̿̐̀n͎͂g̨͙̀̈́ year and I still miss you."

No response.

"Don't I deserve an answer K̞͐a̧̨̨͈̐̂̄͐ '̨̭̹̻̃͒͗̚A͉̫͓̥̋͌͞͠ǐ̟̞͎͠͝? After all I've been through, don't you think I-"

I stopped when I felt my cheeks grow wet. Cotton spores blanketed the ground like snow around my legs. Damn. I wiped the tears from my cheeks and stomped at the spores, trying not to cry again. Dammit. D̝͎͙͊͊̒ȧ̬m͉̂mit̡̲̽̀. I can't do this anymore.

Ị̧͍͇̐̒͋̀ ̪̗͘̕w̧̲̣̞̱̍͆́̒͝is̘̀ĥ̩̘̉ ̡̛͖̘͊̒I ̱͛cõ̻̘̼͋͛̀͜uļ̨̛͔̘̻͊̾̀͞d͇̈́̊̽͜͟ ͇̕͘ͅf̛͚͇͙̊̈́͗͢eḛ͓̊͛̾͢l̰͐ ̖̭͔̔͂͛ok̳̊ḁ̜̟̬̒̎̆̉ý̧̗̟̮͒̀͒ ̦̈a̧̩̺̫̔͐̌̓̕͢g̙͚̰̓̎̾ã̺̗̏̀͢i̍͟n̡͆.̡̬̖͎̃̀̑͢͝͠.̑͢.̳̙̗̀̿͒͆͜

The buzzing suddenly came back, louder than before. It was horrid. It was deafening. Make it stop. M̟̬̀̚a̛̤̮̮̦̎̏͂k̼̄e͖̻̠̾͋̇ ̱͠iţ̪̓͌ ̗̩͠͠sto̫͉̅̚p̥̥̏͡.

C̻̻̤̗̈́̊͐̆͜͠o̱͎̓͑ṁ̡̤̜̃̏e̞͖͔̅̏̚ ̜͕́̄͢͞ẇ̹i̤̰͛͡t̥̮̉͂h̬̦̼͒̄̃ ͔̰͚̓͒͡m̗̗̈̍͜͜͝͠e̼͇̒͞ d͇͑ė̙̙̼̂͞a͍͔̞͊̒́̒ͅȓ̳̃̾͟ͅ
̟̼̙̍̄͠Ḻ̘͒͊͟͞e̱̗͗͐̌̒͜͟ţ̧̱͖͆̎̆̍ ̧̭̬̙̰͒͌́͝͠m͕̦̖͓̐̃͐͝e̲͙͂́ ̛̥̯̋ṗ̢͙͖͒̂r̹͆̈̈͟͟ot͕̜̙̜͐̽͋̍e̟̚c̠͞ț̑ ͍̕yo̫̩̠͌̽͝u̡͎̜͇͛̔͋͘
̨͕̘̒̉̋͟͡J̢̠̑͒ų̞̒͋s̙͇̬̩̀̈́̓͆t̰̽ l͇̅ỉ̟͍͡k͚̭̹͙̊̂̉͞ę̧͓̣̝͑̔̕̕͠ ̟̱̟̽̀̓̋͜İ̟̳̠̼̔̿̓ ̧̋pŗ͇͕͔̗̍̍͌̃͑o̤̾t̓͜é̳c̹̹̓̚ẗ͚̪̲̠͌͐͐̎͢ ͙̺̃͋a̡̖͛̆͛͜l͉̕ĺ̨̲̫͐̕ ͉̫͐͒͂͟m̧̥̺̦̑̈̒̃y̡̺͈̮̠͆̑͋͒̕ sǘ͚̰̥͂̀bje̘͓̗̽͞͡c͚̥̤̔̽̓̈͢tş͓̭̉̆̿
̹̗̺̍͐́Į̲̹͆̒͛ ̙̬͆͊j̗̅u͇͗s̩͎͎̤̜̏͂͋̊͛t̗͙̓̈ ̘͔̈̌w͙̰͖̾̕͝a̙̘̲̗͕̐̅̃̃̎n̢̹̆̌t̖̰̙͎͙͗͂͑̇̚ ̫̝̒͊to͙͓͒̚ ̢̀͂͜p̻͂ŕ̻ȍ̖̮̗̮͛̚̕t̺͍͙̏̾̆̀͟ḙ̍c̢̢̛͍̆͝ẗ̡̢̮͇́̔́͘ ̡̤̙̂̕͠m͈̿y̡̥͋̌ ̨͔̝͕̽͌̐̒ş̮͓̣͐̑̾̕u͍̣͂͋b̩̟̏̔j̝̹̤͊͛͒e͈̞̒̕c̭̏t̨̨̞̊͝͡s̳̿

What...what was that? Those arent my thoughts. Those arent my thoughts! What the hell is going on?!

I need to go. I need to get out of here. But...do...d̘͉̦̀̂͠o̠̒̊ͅ ̧̝͋̽Í̡̡̛͓̤̌̚ ̭͈̖̀̍͂ŗ̥͒̒e͖̊ạ̦͈̟̖͊͆̿̀͝l̞̬͌̕l͕͛ȳ̙͔͉͊̆̕ͅ?̡̠̰̹̂̍͗͝ 
What if...this witch is right? What if she's been right all along?

Aisho left Mitakihara and look what happened to him. If he had stayed, we would still be happy and together. T̬͉̙͌̿̓͘͜ó̼͉͖͒̔͟͡ǵ̡͈̬̦̣̐̈́̕͠ę͖͖͖͑́̍̓ṭ̪͖̈̄̏h͖̥̄̂̔͢ę͉͐͛̓͜r ̡̿f͎̙͔̰͆̀̈́̔ő͚r͐͟ȅ͉̭͉̂̐͝ͅṽ̪̟͠e̺͓̒̐̐͢r̘̥̩͔͛͂̓̃. ̭͋͜͞. ̣̕.̮̭̲͌̃͞

"Why would you want to leave?"
"This is the loveliest kingdom around..."

Why-
Why did I say that?
Why are those words coming from my mouth?
W̢͖̻̓̕͘ḧ͉̞͇̞̒͛͡ỳ͓ ͖̩̘̄͗͞a̬͘r̊ͅe̒͢ ̹͑͟͠t̖̉h̹̀ö̬̲̲̳́̽́͘s̰̀̏ͅȩ̾ ̟̈́w̠̆o̜͞r̹̀d̛̺̞̪̖̀́͘s̩̯̩̲̉̓̔̕ ͕͍̊͋c̢͇̽̍ô̫̗̠͚͒̅̔ṃ̗̬̌̕͠i̢̙̼̫͂̑̈́͘ň̢̺͞g̈͜ ̩̮̽̾f̬̜̙͙̃̆͗̇͝ͅr̖͉̥̀̃̚̕͢ơ͉͕͉̌̉͊͟m͙̙̙̓̅̈́̅͢ ̨͕̗̋̽̿͟͠m͕͔̩̖̹̉̅̒̑̄y̼͒̏ͅ ͉̋̓͢m̼̉̄͟o̝̘͔͛͛̌̏͢u̻͐ṭ̆ḣ̡͓̿?̮͇̒͌