Questie phase 1 Ben

q"Questing this, questing that, it's all bullshit! All that effort and for what? Some crappy orb?"

"..."

"What? Come on Truff' don't you agree?"

"Eheh, uh... Y-yeah! Haven't you... done one before, Ben?" The younger bean asked nervously.

Shit.

"Of course I have," huffed Ben, "Hasn't everyone?" No need to tell him that he hadn't made it any farther then the quest preperation shop.

Truffla's eyes widened a bit then he laughed. "Ahhh, yeah! Of course! I.. um... T-tell me about it!"

"Say no more, friend, let me tell you my amazing questing tale!"

___

"So, I had heard the queen needed help with something..."

"What was it?"

A lot of things, actually. He got 'recommended' to start small and bake her the cake she needed, or babysit those stupid bratty kids, or paint a photo... "She wanted to find the strongest fighter in all the land, so they could become a knight to protect her." Not exactly a lie. That WAS one of the things.

"They let teens enter that? I thought that it was only for beans older then 21."

"Well, yeah, but what do you think I am? A coward?"

"But wouldn't-"

"I was gonna win that stupid contest if it was the last thing I did, so obviously I lied about my age."

"And they believed you?"

No. "Obviously, why would I be telling this story if they didn't? That would be such a lame ass ending. God, you can be so fucking stupid sometimes."

"Oh."

"Anywayyyys. So, after hearing I was admitted entry, I decided to go to the quest preparation shop. You know where that is?"

"N-"

"Tsk, figures. It's by that one place near the big tree and the fountain. Yeah?"

"Yeah, I know where you mean, now."

"Anyways again, I entered it and they had this hugeeeee pile of shit. Random odds and ends, bunch of useless bullshit like broken chairs and rusty piece of junk armor. I went up to the guy and I said, Hey, idiot," He had left out the 'idiot' part when he was actually asking it out loud to avoid being punched in the face, "where can I find something actually good? And you know what they said?"

"What did they say?"

They told him if he'd wanted the high quality stuff, he'd have to pay the premium price. But alongside that, "They said, 'there's good stuff in there if you look.' Hah! As if," He snorted loudly, "Or so I thought! I did some searching through that heap of junk, and I found something amazing."

Truffla's eyes sparkled. "What was it?"

A dusty old golden crown. "It was a sword, made of gold, that shined like a diamond! I thought to myself," that he could sell it for a pretty penny somewhere else, "if this sword isn't my ticket to winning, I'll eat my foot. But then, when I went to go" steal "buy it, they" called the police and threw him out "told me that that sword? That shiny ol thing? That sword was a special sword. One that would only appear to those worthy. They told me that for that reason, I could just keep it!"

"That's amazing! Do you still have it?"

"Hold on," he needed time to think of an explanation, "I'm getting to that. I bet you're wondering what happened when I showed up to fight." Which never happened, seeing as he got scolded by law enforcement and let off easy for being 'just a misguided youth.'

 "Of course!"

"I showed up and everyone had this stupid look on their face, they'd never seen such a badass weapon before! In fact, the queen wanted to make me the winner on the spot, but I refused. I wanted a fair fight. I fought each person, the sword slicing at them and jabbing them and me controlling it all!"

"You won, then?"

"Hold on! Jeeze, for fucks sake, stop being so impatient!"

"R-right, sorry."

"And don't apoligize, it makes you look like a pussy."

"S-..."

"ANYWAYS, if you're done, I fought through all the other competitors until there was no one left. The queen had never been more impressed with anyone in her life, and she told me that it would be her honor to make me her head knight. But you wanna know what I said?"

"What?"

"I spat at her and threw down my sword. I told her I don't wanna work for a stupid queen. I'm too good for that. The only person I fight for is myself."

Truffla stared at him, expression blank, but clearly impressed.

Heh.

He just told the stupidest lie of his life.

And he got away with it, too.