Indigo Whispers: The Collective

Cool breeze, singing insects, a blanket of glittering stars over the night air - it was certainly a lovely time to be up. Amia had been sitting on the front porch of she, Jacquelyn and Evangeline's shared apartment for about 10 minutes. This wasn't uncommon. No matter how old she got, she was still cat-like, and would often wake up periodically throughout day and night. Occasionally this resulted in simply relaxing outside, so here she was.

All of a sudden, the creak of the front door penetrated the silence. Amia's ears swiveled in surprise as she peered over her shoulder, yet a smile spread over her face when she saw a thin blonde figure peer around the door. Jacquelyn had risen for water and noticed Amy's absence, and immediately guessed where she would be. As crazy as it sounded, perhaps this was a perfect opportunity. Jackie had something to talk about.

Coughing lightly, they licked their lips and called out. "H-Hey... You're awake?"

Amia provided a happy nod in return. "Yeah! You coming out?"

A smile responded, and before long Jackie had joined her out on the porch. However, in the calm quiet that followed Amia immediately noticed the chewing. Jackie always chewed on their fingers when nervous, and they extent to which they were doing it now was heavily concerning.

"Are you okay?"

They couldn't help but jump in spite of themselves. Jacquelyn hadn't expected her to notice their nervousness so soon, and this threw a wrench in their picture of things. But this was an entirely new situation, and they decided they may as well just go for it.

"Yeah, I... I'm fine." A deep breath, then sudden eye contact. "Amia... you know you're my best friend, right?"

The question came as a surprise to Amia. As both broke eye contact out of autism related habit, she nodded vigorously. "Of course!"

"And you know I trust you with everything?"

"Yeah?"

Jacquelyn had to take a brief moment to steady their breathing before going on. "Well... I have a secret. I've had one secret for years. And I - I want to tell it to you. Because I trust you."

"Eh?" After blinking a few times, Amia slowly nodded. It was natural for people to have secrets, so generally bringing one up so suddenly meant some sort of trouble. It caused anxiety on her end - yet, she trusted Jackie in return. Trusted that it was nothing she couldn't handle.

"Of course. You can tell me, what is it?"

Head swirling. Thoughts racing. Already nothing was going like Jacquelyn had in mind, and they thought they might be sick. However, they were already so far in that their mind decided to jump straight in and complete it.

"I think I love you."

Silence. The lack of response ignited a strange panic in their brain, and they shot ahead with their lines.

"I - I think - I think I've loved you for a long time. Not just as a friend, but as something bigger. More. I want to be more." And with that, they shut their mouth and waited.

Shock; that was all that filled Amia's head. This felt like a dream, yet it was the exact dream she'd been avoiding for years. Not because she didn't return the feeling - no, for the exact opposite reason. She was also in love, and that horrified her. This was such a sudden way to confess that she was completely thrown off.

"I - I don't - I can't -"

Devastation.

Jacquelyn immediately interpreted this single stutter as rejection, and their heart filled with a lump like they'd never felt before in their life. Now they were backtracking, trying to cover their tracks before it was too late.

"I'm so sorry - you don't have to - I mean, I can go - I know that's sudden -"

"NO! No, wait."

Even though it felt crazy to say what she was about to say, Amia felt it necessary. This whole mess began because of trust - If Jackie felt she deserved to know their feelings, then they deserved to know hers. Her voice was growing fast paced and high pitched, as it always did when she was nervous or flustered.

"I'm just... scared. I'm scared. I don't know what I do. I've never been in a relationship before, I don't know what I'm like in one, I don't know how anyone could even like me -"

A long pause ensued, as they realized what they'd just said. At last though, it was followed up with a whispered conclusion. "I'm just scared, is all."

Despite the serious nature of what was just said, Jacquelyn was so relieved. Unlike rejection, comfort in face of fear was something they actually knew how to handle. So, after fully processing everything said, they breathed deeply yet again and went into healer mode.

"That's okay, Amia. I would never force you into a relationship if you weren't ready. But... I do want you to know that doesn't matter to me. I've never dated anyone - I have no idea what it would be like either. But I do know I love you. I know that no matter what, I would want to try. To keep going and learn with you. That's what love really is, right?"

Quiet, calm, the tone of Jackie's voice was a comfort to Amia. She could barely believe what she was hearing. That she was loved, that it was all okay - it was a miracle. And just like that, her mood shot up, and a goofy smile shot onto her face.

"If... if you're sure... Then I want to try. I love you too, and I... I want to try. I want you."

All of a sudden, the atmosphere had changed. Awkward fear had been replaced with a flustered happiness, and warn hand had made its way into warm hand.

"So... we're together?"

"Yes. We're together."