What Do I Mean To You

Laurel sat by the window, looking outside at the sky. It was so pretty at this time of night. The sun setting was another beautiful sight to see. A tear rolled down her cheek before she wiped it away. She loved watching the sunsets with Rose, but he wasn’t here anymore, and sunsets felt different when you were alone.

She looked over at the shiny Sylveon on the couch and her heart ached more for her husband. The gift she cherished with her life was now a painful reminder that he wasn’t there. That he betrayed his region for a half baked idea to make Leon look like the hero and to save the future of Galar. She knew he was just trying to look out for the future. But he was wrong going about it. She shook her head. She couldn’t think of him right now. She would only cry again.

Her eyes drifted to the letter that had been sitting on the table for the last two days. It was from Rose himself ,apparently, but she had been too scared to open it. Scared of what, she wasn't sure. All her mail had been getting screened lately in case someone sent her something or she sent something to someone proving her guilt. The last part left a bitter taste in her mouth. She got up from the seat next to the window and grabbed the letter, half of her wanting to throw the damn thing away. But… it was from Rose. He was her husband still- no matter. She would always stand by him. Thick and thin. Better or worse. They said so themselves at their wedding all those years ago. She sighed, moving to the couch and sitting next to her shiny pokemon.

“Should I read it? I don’t even know anymore what to do Sylveon.” She whispered, trying to not wake up the sleeping pokemon. She stared at the letter for a moment before placing it on the table again. She would read it tomorrow. This time, she wasn't lying to herself. She really would read it when she had the energy to.. She scooped up the pokemon and headed off to bed.

The next morning she was awakened by a frantic knock at the door. She crawled out of bed and adjusted the baggy button up shirt she wore that was from Rose’s closet. She looked out her peep hole on the front door and opened it up to see the last person she expected.

“Bede. Why-”

“You have five minutes to explain why the hell I got this letter from Rose before I leave.” came the boy’s curt reply. He shoved the piece of paper into her face before storming into the house and sitting on the couch, her Sylveon stretching and moving to sit on his lap.

She read over the letter and frowned.

“Where did you get this letter Bede?” She asked softly , sitting in the chair by the window. The sun was still rising. She was partially impressed he came to her so early in the day but his gym leader duties most likely were the reason.

“It was delivered to my gym before we closed up for the night.” he huffed, petting the pokemon on his lap softly. He always did have a soft spot for pokemon, especially fairy types, she noted to herself.

“I don't understand.”

“Neither do I.” he raised an eyebrow seeing the letter from Rose on the table. “You got a letter too? How bizarre you haven’t even opened yours and I opened mine.” He smirked, picking up the letter and carefully opening it.

“Bede… please… “ she sighed, running a hand through the loose strands of hair that fell from her ponytail. “Please don’t insult me in our house.” She begged softly. Bede’s eyes softened for a moment before getting harsh again.

“Your home. Not mine.” He snapped. “Remember I have no family.”

“Bede. Now isn’t the time to fight. Just. help me make sense of this. Rose is apologizing to you. That I get. But… the thing I don't get is that he mentions he doesn’t remember much at all. That.. That is worrisome.” She muttered, thinking about the letter in Bede’s hands as he read it.

“He still is calling you Laurel Leaf by the way. Sicking how sweet that is.” He sneered, continuing to read it. “He’s saying he’s sorry for being a shit husband and…” he threw the letter on the ground.

“I hate him Laurel. He used me. He used you.” His voice was soft and broken sounding. She knew he was a strong kid but something like that … someone hurting you so badly…it was enough to mess anyone up. “I know. I don’t think he meant to hurt us though Bede. I really don’t. I think he was misguided and -”

“Don’t make excuses for him Laurel!”

“I’m not. I really think he had what was best for Galar in mind. For Galar. Not us.” She told him, frowning slightly. “I think he got so caught up in trying to help everyone that he forgot what was most important.” She stood up , walking over to Bede and sat down next to him on the couch. She picked up the letter and sighed. She glanced over at it and her heart caught in her throat when she picked up where Bede left off.

I’m sorry for being a horrible husband to you lately Laurel Leaf. And an even worse father figure to Bede. I know how much you love him like he is ours. I wish I could have given you the family you deserved. The one you have wanted for so long.

She pulled her eyes away and teared up. How dare he use that against her. How dare he, when all the media had been harping on this same point with her, to the point that she barely used her Rotom phone anymore to avoid being inundated with notifications about it?

“Bede… I’m so mad with him. I don’t know what to do. I can’t.. He’s my life. I just can’t leave him. But he destroyed us.” She leaned back onto the couch and rested her head on the back of the couch, trying to avoid crying in front of the teen she desperately had wanted to call her son.

“He wants to see us. He wants to pretend we are some happy family I bet.” he snarked, furrowing her eyebrows together and petting the sylveon a little harder, but not by much.

“If I leave to see him the media will destroy me Bede. If I do anything at all I’m evil. If I leave the house to get food I’m the villain’s wife. If I don’t leave it's just as bad.”

“Then leave. Why stay if it's just as bad.”

“I don’t want to drag innocent people into my family’s drama.”

“It became Galar’s drama the moment Rose unleashed the Darkest Day , Laurel.”

“I know. But I still have a reputation to uphold. And I can’t go out looking like this.” She sighed , gesturing to her borrowed shirt and sweatpants.

Bede Chuckled and shook his head.

“You have always been fashionable Laurel. I never thought you would be one for sweatpants.”

“I never thought you would wear anything but that jacket I gave you. But look at you.” She smiled and gestured to him. “My little gym leader.”

Bede got quiet. Which meant he was thinking deeply and that always scared Laurel when he didn’t have a quick come back.

“Are you still my mom even if I want nothing to do with Rose.” He asked , looking up at her and making her chest hurt more.

“Of course Bede. I will always.” She choked on her words as she started to cry. “I will always be your mother if you want me to be.” She placed her head in her hands and sobbed slightly.

“Sorry you have to see me like this.” she choked again, trying to talk through her sobs. “I’ve been a mess.” she shook her head and tried to shake away the tears but they kept flowing.

“It’s okay. I’ve been busy with Gym stuff to keep myself from thinking about it.”

“Bede. If I go see him. Will you come with me? I know that’s a lot to ask of you. But you need answers too.” She told him, wiping away the tears more, finally able to speak clearly after a few moments of her just sobbing.

Bede looked hesitant. “If he tries to call me his son I’m out.” He told her, standing up- ignoring the calls of the sylveon that was comfortable on his lap.

“I have to go now. Gym duties and all but … mom… I will go with you to see him.”

Laurel smiled at him and nodded.

“Go train. I’m so proud of you.” She told him as he started for the door. He paused for a moment.

“Opal told me that I would find an answer here that I was looking for. I came here looking for them about Rose but I guess I found out the answer I had been looking for awhile now.”

Laurel sighed. “I’m sorry I didn’t reach out sooner Bede. I figured you wanted nothing to do with us.”

“It’s fine Laurel. I didn’t but I needed something.” He told her before leaving.