This is such a beautiful piece, I'm not even sure where to start, oh my goodness.
The poem is so beautiful, and I love the pacing of the prose and poetry so much. The oceanic vibes are done so well and the imagery is so vivid- some of my favorite lines are 'And love crests every current, mourning your name' and 'And the you who is real wakes up coughing all the ocean’s tears from your lungs.'
You have such a good grasp of pacing, the second paragraph's progression of first/second/third followed by the two word sentence of 'you sleep' abruptly afterwards is so good. I also love the rhythm in the line 'It breathes as a whalefall as a beached oarfish as a hooked squid' so much.'
You bring so much of the lore to life in the writing! Thank you for the very good read!
Comments on Chapter 11: JUN2021EV of World of Orrison