Ant Bites

Azalea laid down on the cave floor, huffing in irritation while every joint in her legs and mouth seared with pain. She could barely speak from the ant bites that dotted her lips and paws, cheeks puffy and inflamed.

“I can NOT believe you did that,” Prairie, her pupsitter and older sister, laughed from the entrance of the cave, throwing her furred head back and cackled. “You stuck your whole ass face and paws into an ant hill! Why the hell would you do that?!”

“Whatever,” Azalea muttered, curling up into a ball and laying with her muzzle stretched across the stone, feeling the cold from the ground soothe some of her aches.

“Yeah, yeah,” Prairie rolled her eyes, flicking her tail at her sister before nestling herself to rest at the entrance. “I don’t care what you do in here, just stay in here. Behave.”

“Behave,” the brown pup mocked, sticking her tongue out, then wincing. Movement was not good to her right now.

Maybe Azalea had been a little overzealous about protecting Magnolia. The two had hung out more often recently, with the blessing of both packs which had been a joy to receive. And in their adventures together in the plains, the two had come across a giant ant hill. Ants were not something Azalea saw often; in the mountains, it was often too cold for many insects. In a spite of naivety and bravery, even though Magnolia had warned her they were dangerous, Azalea had attacked the hill with as much vigor as possible. The ants bit her paws, which hurt deeply. So, logically, she thought she should bite them back. And then… they attacked her lips and muzzle. Red dots lined her face like Christmas lights and it felt like her cheeks had swelled to twice their size. She looked… ridiculous. All in front of Magnolia.

It could have been more embarrassing. Her pack laughed, and she was sure Magnolia’s pack would too once they heard of it, but at least Mags didn’t. She had seemed more concerned than anything. But it wasn’t great for Azalea to feel embarrassed in front of her.

Which was weird. Why was Magnolia different? She was even okay with Echo, one of her closest friends, to see her with all the bites on her faces, but why was Magnolia different from that or anyone else?

Azalea couldn’t understand it… There were a lot of different things about Magnolia. The way she felt increasingly comfortable yet nervous around her at the same time. She often wondered what Mags was thinking, what she was doing. What was it about? Was it about her? Did Magnolia think about her like Azalea did about her? Sometimes she would just look at Magnolia and see the glint in her eye or the smile on her cheeks and feel her heart race like she was on a hunt.

It’s all so confusing, the pup thought to herself, glancing at the speck of light that shone between some rocks in the cave wall. Sunlight glinted through, orange, making the cave glisten in a beautiful light. If only she could show Magnolia this….

I can’t believe I’m thinking about her again! This seemed to never stop. All she thought about, all she could think about, was this wolf miles away. Her chest heaved and hurt with an ache she was becoming all too familiar with: a feeling of loneliness and longing for the company of someone dear to her. It was different in a way than she had never felt before; it was more than like that time that Echo had the flu and had to be quarantined from the pack for a week. There was this strange, intimate desire to know everything Magnolia knew, to be a part of her life in every way possible. And she couldn’t understand why this feeling came. Was it even justified? Did Magnolia want the same things, or did Mags just think of her as a basic friend that she saw every so often? Did she miss her when they were apart? Was there this pain in her chest too?

Azalea fell asleep to these thoughts in her brain, and for several nights after, the same thoughts came. It was tormenting to be in the cave, babysat by Prairie, trapped with thoughts she couldn’t help and no way to solve any of the questions in her brain. She thought of asking her parents for advice, but it seemed… strange.

Finally, there was a day Echo was allowed into the cave to come see her, now that her wounds were healing and the chance for infection dissipated.

“Echo, I need to talk to you about something… serious.”

The merle pup settled on his feet, head cocked in curiosity.

Azalea continued, “So… I’ve been thinking about Magnolia.”

Echo blinked a few times and urged her on, “And…?”

“Well,” She hesitated, already feeling her heart race to discuss this conversation. She felt silly talking about it, like it was stupid to feel this way. “I have been thinking about her a lot and I don’t know if it’s… normal. Ugh, this sounds stupid. I just like. Think about her a lot. All the time. I can’t stop it, and when I stop, something makes me think about her again! It’s like… an illness!!”

“An illness?” Echo snickered and placed a paw on his friend’s shoulder, “Oooo, you have a cruuushhh.”

“What?!” Azalea exclaimed, as if the thought never occurred to her. Suddenly her face felt even more red, and it definitely wasn’t from bug bites.

“Thinking about her all the time? Wanting to be around her? Are you imagining a future with her? Yeah, that’s a crush. You’ve got puppy love.”

Azalea stared down between her paws, dumbfounded. Is that what this was? She had never had a crush before, and it wasn’t like she was going to have this type of discussion with her parents. She had to trust Echo knew what he was talking about… “Okay, okay,” she breathed, “so let’s assume I have… a crush… on Magnolia. What do I do? Is it good? How do I get rid of it?” She paused. “Should I?”

Echo laughed. For being a smart wolf, Azalea was pretty dumb with love. “Look, it’s okay. You’re going to survive. Everyone has these. Well, mostly everyone.”

“It feels like I’m going to die.”

“You won’t, but yeah, that’s it. You just have a crush. So you have two options… You could never tell her and let it die, which it hopefully would. I don’t guarantee anything. Or you can tell her and see where it goes.”

“Absolutely not,” Azalea chirped quickly.

“Aw, c’mon. Why not?” Echo asked, grinning at his friend. He was unsurprised by this answer.

“What if she thinks I’m stupid or finds it annoying? What if she doesn’t like me at all that way? What if she laughs? Oh my god, what if she decides she doesn’t want to even be friends with me anymore?”

“What are you squirts talking about?” Prairie asked, strolling in the cave with the biggest grin on her face. “You got a crush, Az?”

“No! Yes! Stop! I don’t know.”

The genuine, frantic look of anxiety on Azalea’s face was endlessly entertaining. It was hard for Prairie to choose between the caring or bratty sister routine. She feigned ignorance. “I can’t imagine who you could have a crush on…”

“It’s Magnolia,” Echo offered while Azalea hid her face between her paws.

“So, what’s the problem?”

“Everything!” Azalea exclaimed, jumping up. Her feet ached and she sat back down with a big huff and a sigh. “The whole thing is a mess. I’m a mess.”

“Look, dude,” Prairie said casually, eyeing her sister up and down. “You’re gonna be fine. You, like, just found out you have a crush, right? So what? Enjoy it. You don’t have to do anything about it right now. Enjoy it for what it is, figure out what you want and what she wants. Fuck, you’re a puppy, not a damn adult. It’s not a big deal.”

Azalea felt some stability in what she said. “But then why does all of this feel so urgent? My chest is… burning.”

“Because it’s new and fun and exciting. It makes you anxious because it’s unfamiliar territory,” Prairie said, deciding to be even more helpful. She could see the serious concern on her face. “Just relax. You can do something about it eventually. Or you can decide not to. But it’s not a decision you have to make tonight or tomorrow or even the day after that. Maybe being around her more will give you some insight on how she’s really feeling. Just chill.”

“Just chill, she says,” Azalea laughed, though she feeling better already. Maybe things would be okay after all, though the idea of ‘just chill’ was not something Az could guarantee herself handling…